Recurring Nightmare

[Antoninus]

I have had the same dream, nightmare rather, every time I close my eyes for the past several weeks.

Its always the same, never changing. Im driving in a car with a girl, this girl is my ex girlfriend but I still love her very much (We'll call her Lynne for the purposes of this post). We're talking a bit, then all of a sudden out of nowhere our car gets sideswiped by annother car. We smash into a wall of some kind and my lights go out for a few seconds. I come to and Im pinned behind the wheel. My seat has been shoved foreward against the steering wheel and the entire front end of the car has been bent upwards, shoving the steering wheel into my chest and further pinning me. My head is looking towards her and I can feel myself...alive, sort of. I can see and hear, but I cant feel anything and I cant move, I cant even twitch an eyelid or change my breathing pattern.

I can see Lynne fully, shes allright, a little stunned but allright. I can see my reflection in a piece of broken mirror, theres blood streaming down my forehead and I can see a huge cut down my face. Lynne grabbed my shoulder and tried to wake me up. But I couldnt move, she kept shaking me, screaming and crying and begging me to respond or move, but I couldnt. I wanted to scream, speak, grab her hand, twitch, do SOMETHING but I it felt like I wasnt even breathing.

After probablyl...maybe a minnute, the entire world just...went dark, my hearing faded and then I wake up with a start and shaking hands.

What does this mean? I cant...for the life of me get an hour of rest. For almost a month, I havent had two hours of un-interrupted sleep. Nothing I try works, sleeping medications only make the dream play over and over in my head, Ive cleansed my rooms so many times my cats refuse to enter the room unless Im there. I have a dreamcatcher pendant, given to me by the same person the dream involves. Sometimes I wake up with a deathgrip on it

[Evendusk]

How did your relationship end with Lynne? Do you feel at fault for the break up? This dream may be dramatizing the end of that relationship and either that you feel guilty for your part in it and subsequent punishment, or that you feel 'dead' because you are no longer in a relationship with this woman you love. Hope this helps.

[Antoninus]

How did your relationship end with Lynne? Do you feel at fault for the break up? This dream may be dramatizing the end of that relationship and either that you feel guilty for your part in it and subsequent punishment, or that you feel 'dead' because you are no longer in a relationship with this woman you love. Hope this helps.
It ended with good intentions. She was getting so stressed with everything she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown so we separated untill she could get her life back in order.

[wolf]

Sounds like you feel that you were more affected by the relationship's end that she was (you're messed up in the crash, pinned by the twisted metal, and she's absolutely fine).

I'd retire the dreamcatcher. It's not working.

[Antoninus]

I'd retire the dreamcatcher. It's not working.
I cant, it has too much meaning for me to take it off. I feel uncomfortable and kinda scared when I have it off

And it is true that I took the end hard, I loved her, and I still love her very much.

[wolf]

If it's sucking the life out of you and keeping you from sleeping, there are other reasons to be scared.

Try this ... remove the necklace. Place it on your altar and surround it with stuff to contain and isolate it. If you don't have an altar, per se, then use a nice windowsill that gets a lot of sun, surround it with a circle of salt or something like that.

Leave it there for a couple of days. Tell us what kind of sleep you're getting.

[Antoninus]

If it's sucking the life out of you and keeping you from sleeping, there are other reasons to be scared.

Try this ... remove the necklace. Place it on your altar and surround it with stuff to contain and isolate it. If you don't have an altar, per se, then use a nice windowsill that gets a lot of sun, surround it with a circle of salt or something like that.

Leave it there for a couple of days. Tell us what kind of sleep you're getting.
I...dunno, like I said, I feel...naked without it and I get panicky when I dont have it

[wolf]

That is a feeling about which you should be very, very concerned.

Your power is within you, not within your possessions.

I'm not telling you to throw it out the window and spit after it or anything ... just isolate it for a couple of days.

You know how when you go to the doctor and you say "It hurts when I do this ..." and he says, "well, stop doing that, and for a couple of days I want you to eat two bananas a day and tell me how you're feeling, okay?"

This is just like that. Except that I'm not suggesting that you eat bananas.

I don't think that you're dealing with anything that was done intentionally. But the "it just kinda happened" stuff can bite you in the ass too. Hard.

[Antoninus]

What do you mean "it just kinda happend"?

[wolf]

You're having energy drained from you. Your subconscious is expressing this to you in the context of the dream.

"Lynne" is not necessarily intentionally doing this. Your investment in the relationship, which continues after it's end, may have set up the link and the resulting energy drain. Or she may be sucking you dry.

Of course, I'm making some edumacated guesses here, based on the information that you have provided.

Why is taking off the dreamcatcher such a difficult thing? (You don't have to answer me. Just yourself.)

[Antoninus]

Lynne is a sweet girl but Agnostic by faith so I STRONGLY doubt shes doing anything intentionally. I dont think shes passively draining because this has never happend before, in fact the number and intensity of my bad dreams has slowed since I put her necklace on.

The necklace belonged to her, she gave it to me as something to hold and touch when I thought about her, which I do quite often. It never leaves my neck except for when I shower. It just...when I take it off and leave it off for more than 10 or 15 minnutes, I feel very uncomfortable, nervous almost.

[Evendusk]

Could you be using the necklace as an emotional substitute for Lynne? I wish there were some easy way to help you like telling you to surround yourself with protective energy but there's more going on than that would help.


The necklace belonged to her, she gave it to me as something to hold and touch when I thought about her, which I do quite often. It never leaves my neck except for when I shower. It just...when I take it off and leave it off for more than 10 or 15 minnutes, I feel very uncomfortable, nervous almost.

I wore a ring for years on the same finger and never felt right without wearing it and when I finally lost the ring it took about a week for me to get used not feeling the weight on my finger.

Maybe this is about breaking an emotional addiction. Have you considered talking to a counselor about this?

[Antoninus]

Could you be using the necklace as an emotional substitute for Lynne? I doubt it, I have many pictures of her so I dont see why I would use her necklace rather than her immage. Besides, I talk to her alot and Im somewhat ashamed to say its hard to keep myself together when I do.

Maybe this is about breaking an emotional addiction. Have you considered talking to a counselor about this? I cant do counselors, they make me nervous and very very uncomfortable. I have trust issues with most members of the medical profession, therapists and counselors especially.

[wolf]

When it comes to counselling, the trust issues end up being with yourself, not with the counsellor.

[Antoninus]

When it comes to counselling, the trust issues end up being with yourself, not with the counsellor.
Well then let us say I have a hard time opening up to counselors and psychologists

[wolf]

You're doing fine with a bunch of total strangers ...

[Antoninus]

You're doing fine with a bunch of total strangers ...
You guys are like my family. I feel closer to you guys than I would a therapist. As I said, I consider most MW members to be my extended family and I have probably a thousand times more trust in you than I would a psychologist