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SimplyStrange
October 22nd, 2001, 07:39 PM
Heya, I am, as many teenagers are -- in fact, as many people are -- on a quest. A spiritual journey, if you will, to discover my faith. You see, ever since I was fourteen (wow, so long ago :)) I have declared myself without religion. I was raised in a Christian family, and for a while, I considered myself Christian because it was close to me, it was what I'd always known. But I never felt right about thinking Jesus was God's son. I mean, I love Jesus, don't get me wrong. I believe he was a great man. But it just never felt right to pray "in Jesus' name". Anyhow, I have lately begun to look at religions, considering which would be right for me, and I have been leaning toward Paganism/Wicca. I have never really been one for organized religion. I believe religion should be a spiritual and personal thing, and not set to any specific "because I say so" guidelines where you must do this and that and this and that, which is why I have found an interest in this faith.

ANYWHO, I have always felt a closeness to God. I mean, sure I believe there could be more than one or that there is more than one, but I have always felt a close relationship with one certain God...the only problem is...I don't know who or what this God is exactly. I have prayed often, but only once about help to discover who he is (yes, I believe my god is a he, a father figure)...but I wasn't even impressed with my prayer, I didn't believe it was coming from my heart, only my mind so as I could at least pretend I had some sense of what was going on. I know I should pray again asking for guidence and assistance...and I intend to do so...but I was wondering...

...Does anyone have any advice? What should I say to him? Has anyone here experienced the same thing as me before? Please, if anyone has any help or advice to offer, it'd be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
~ SS ~

MistOfTheSea86
October 22nd, 2001, 08:59 PM
This is a famous journey of all sorts. We all have gone through it and all are still going through it I am sure. Me, I look at it in a series of steps. Like 1st, deciding to go on the journey. 2nd, preparing to go on the journey, 3rd going on the journey. And there really isn't anymore steps to it. Things like this take time to figure out. Some people take a day, and some a lifetime. All I can tell you is keep on doing what you are doing, and a few meditations. They never heart and they can help directly or indirectly to your problem, and if you can't meditate or you are having trouble, then write on a peice of paper every night what you want answered and put it under your pillow. Pherhaps then, some answers will become more clear to see. Just keep at it:) Wisdom always results if you show you want it:)

Myst
October 22nd, 2001, 09:14 PM
I think you are already answering your own question - to pray, to meditate, to ask for guidance and assistance. Ask him who he is, and maybe you'll recognize him from some life myth and maybe you won't, maybe he only speaks to you in the form you need to see him, maybe NO ONE else knows this God. You don't have to name him or find him in a book, just ask him who he is and what he's about, and I'm sure he will help you. Don't feel you need to have to conform to Christianity OR Paganism, or any belief system. Like you said, everyone's path is personal, so find your own way and find God in your own life.

SimplyStrange
October 22nd, 2001, 09:22 PM
Thanks guys. I know I don't have to convert or anything...I'm just stating :)

I have recieved a bit of info in a dream before, which I believe I posted here... *looks around* Anywho, he was in a dream of mine a while ago...and Mist pointed out that it was interesting that he was dressed like a druid...

I think you're right, Myst. I don't think it matters who he is in general, named and such...it really only matters who he is to me...

Thanks guys. :)

Aengus McTeague
October 22nd, 2001, 09:25 PM
What Myst said.

When I began a very similar journey, (which I'm still on) I started by asking god who he was. The answer that I got is that God to me is beyond any name, definition, religion, or ceremony. That ALL of our attempts to describe the ultimate fall short, but if I listened, I could feel his (or her) guidance inside.

I've decided that it's time for me to give form to my worship, and I've chosen Paganism as the vehicle that best suits me. Not because I believe it is any more LITERALLY true than any other religion, but because, to me it is POETICALLY true.

Don't stop searching, don't stop questioning, don't stop loving. It's a hell of a ride.:cool:
BB

Lavender
October 22nd, 2001, 11:08 PM
That was wonderfully said, Mist. Very insightful. :)

SimplyStrange
October 22nd, 2001, 11:09 PM
Yeah, I don't think I'll ever know for sure. But I do think that I will have this relationship with God...kind of like what I have now. I can talk to God in prayer and joke as if he were just another one of my friends...and that's what I think my God is to me...a friend...an everlasting friend.

Tonight before I sleep, I'm going to ask my friend for help...not a full blown, dramatic answer to all life's questions type of help, but just something that will give me a better understanding.

From what I know my God so far, he'll help me, and be happy to. :p

SimplyStrange
October 23rd, 2001, 08:32 PM
Ok scratch that. :( He didn't answer. Well, I don't know if he did or not. I mean, I asked him not for some big answer to everything ever, but I asked for something....that a sign of any sort would be greatly appreciated. I have some thoughts about this...

~Well, I did dream last night, as you always dream every night. Only I CAN'T remember ANY of it!! I even woke up not remembering any of it. So he could have said something in this dream that I will maybe remember bits and pieces later or something? I mean, all i can remember of this dream is the mists...aah! I'm stuck in the mists, lol!

~He could be waiting for a while. I mean, I know I didn't leave it up to him entirely...and I didn't specify THAT NIGHT...

I think I'll just keep praying, and keep my studies afloat.

Dria El
October 29th, 2001, 09:50 PM
I wouldn't worry. Not all answers come right away. It may be one of those things that comes in a 'flash' of insight. I call them my epiphanies. It's like, I'm going along confused as ever and all of a sudden (out of the blue, in a flash of blinding light, etc.) I have absolute clarity. It may be that way for you. You also might want to watch for little signs. He may throw you teasers now and again to test you. I think only you would know which one he is. Good luck.

bluecat
October 30th, 2001, 02:06 AM
Don't rush it, but be deliberate in your journey. :)

SimplyStrange
November 3rd, 2001, 11:59 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean. In fact, what I was just thinking about the other day were my two neat experiences. I posted them in just talk.

One was that I saw two auras for the first time ever, and the other was kind of that I had sort of an out of body experience...in my body. It was bizarre. But anywho, yeah, I've been taking everything less literally, like thinking of things as more of metaphorical things.

In any case, I haven't given up my search for God. *looks up into the clouds and points a finger* I'm comin' after you!! J/k