A Friends Childs Problem Wiping

[~~Cypher~~]

Greetings,

I have a friend who has 4 children and one on the way... her oldest is 9 yeasrs of age. She is having a problem having him wipe his bottom when he is done having bowl movements. She has tried almost everything and is completly stumped about what to do. I tried to have her sign up to the community but with 4 kids and a 21.6 kbps connection she is having a hard time.

So please give advice on this.

[LadyTrinity]

Why is he having trouble wiping him self? Is it because he can't get it clean enough?
My "mother inlaw" told me my " brother inlaw" needed help until he was 10! I believe they solved it by using baby wipes because it was easier to clean with than dry toilet paper. I dont know if that would help. Being 9.. I think the child should be able to do it them selves. I hope she finds a way to help her child! :hugz:

[BlueMoon13]

I agree, maybe he needs moist wipes to get the job done. My other thoughts:is so chubby he can't actually REACH adequately? Or, if this is a new problem, is he getting some kind of rash or irritation down there, or does he feel he's not getting enough attention with the other kids and another on the way? Just grasping at straws here..... :fpeek:

[Ceres]

By nine, their butt wiping (or failure to) is their own problem. What I would do is just be really busy when the kid calls me in to help with it. They will figure it out. Even if they solve the problem by not wiping, it will soon become apparent why that solution wont work. geesh! nine.

[Sequoia]

By nine, their butt wiping (or failure to) is their own problem. What I would do is just be really busy when the kid calls me in to help with it. They will figure it out. Even if they solve the problem by not wiping, it will soon become apparent why that solution wont work. geesh! nine.

The biggest problem with this approach being that 'little' issue of infections and rashes. Which can be counted as "child abuse" when the kid is being willfully neglected, esp. if the parent is aware of the problem. Not that it would be chronic in a day or two, but you certainly should NOT leave the kid alone.

I agree- get baby wipes. Hell, I'm an adult, and I have to use them to keep from getting 'lady infections' (completely unrelated to the wiping issues- I'm not nasty like that!). It sucks in price, but what I noticed is that you get a LOT cleaner with wipes. Don't know how I got along without them.

Secondly, perhaps all this kid needs is for mommy or daddy to take a few minutes with 'em and show them the proper way to wipe. Not sure why this idea didn't come to the parents' mind beforehand.

[Valkie]

It is a difficult situation... I'm going through it with my soon to be 9 year old.

With mine, it's a mental thing. It's not that he's incapable of doing it, he just doesn't do it and it's incredibly frustrating when it's a mental thing. There's only 2 options. 1. follow him to the bathroom every time he goes and nag the crap out of him (which isn't very practical for a 9 year old) or find out the real reason that he's not wiping.

Mine, it's self-esteem issues. Bottom line is that he just doesn't care enough about himself to do it. I've tried going the whole germ/infections/rash/smell/pain in the butt for laundry thing, it didn't work. You have to address the real issue, the one that makes him not care.

At 9, there isn't much you can do until the child decides that they want to do it and do it correctly and trying to scare them into it just doesn't work.

[Ceres]

The biggest problem with this approach being that 'little' issue of infections and rashes. Which can be counted as "child abuse" when the kid is being willfully neglected, esp. if the parent is aware of the problem. Not that it would be chronic in a day or two, but you certainly should NOT leave the kid alone.

I agree- get baby wipes. Hell, I'm an adult, and I have to use them to keep from getting 'lady infections' (completely unrelated to the wiping issues- I'm not nasty like that!). It sucks in price, but what I noticed is that you get a LOT cleaner with wipes. Don't know how I got along without them.

Secondly, perhaps all this kid needs is for mommy or daddy to take a few minutes with 'em and show them the proper way to wipe. Not sure why this idea didn't come to the parents' mind beforehand.

Geesh, always straight to abuse. (rolling eyes) For crying out loud, we are talking about letting a NINE year old kid wipe their own butt. When they get a bit of a rash going, they will complain and then you can explain they arent wiping. Or arent wiping properly. And how to do it properly. I have never heard of a kid getting an infection from not wiping their own butt properly, but I suppose its possible. Nearly everyone gets a skid mark every now and then and rarely do you hear of fatalities.

[Jackiedanielz]

My ex-SO's 9 yo used to do this too. He had stomach problems & never wiped himself fully. Must be a 9 yo thing.

Valkie, did you ever make him do his own laundry?

[Zoritsa_Nepenthe]

My ex-SO's 9 yo used to do this too. He had stomach problems & never wiped himself fully. Must be a 9 yo thing.

Valkie, did you ever make him do his own laundry?
Agreeing with the nine year old thing.My son went through it as did my friend's son...all about the same age too.Must be a boy thing as well,because I don't know anyone with girls who went through that.

At that age,there could be many different reasons for the lack of hygiene.I know for my son it was more of a,"it takes to long","I did wipe it good","You told me not to use up all the toilet paper"(he used to clog up the toilet ALL the time),"I'm to busy",any and all excuses to why he couldn't/wouldn't wipe properly.I think he was just so occupied with the little bit of freedom I had given to him,that to sit there and make sure he wiped well...was just a waste of time.After all,who sees his rear end but him?

Get the baby wipes...that should solve the problem with not being able to wipe well enough.Just make sure they don't end up being flushed.Even the ones that say you can flush....don't.Someone else mentioned making him do his own laundry may work....or at least his underwear.

Tell her good luck....it's hard knowing what goes through kids heads these days :wtf:

[Sequoia]

Geesh, always straight to abuse. (rolling eyes) For crying out loud, we are talking about letting a NINE year old kid wipe their own butt. When they get a bit of a rash going, they will complain and then you can explain they arent wiping. Or arent wiping properly. And how to do it properly. I have never heard of a kid getting an infection from not wiping their own butt properly, but I suppose its possible. Nearly everyone gets a skid mark every now and then and rarely do you hear of fatalities.

:sick: No, not everyone gets skidmarks occasionally... geeze! That's nasty.

In females, it can lead to messy, painful infections. In men, it leads to NASTY hygene and a serious social problem. Not to mention that yes, it can and does cause rashes, which can be scratched, which get more feces in them and get infected, and so on and so forth.

Point is, a kid should wipe by 9yrs. If he isn't doing it, mommy or daddy (damn it, preferably daddy) should be in there showing him how to wipe his own butt. If he doesn't do it properly, then I'd make the kid wear a diaper until he figured it out. I wouldn't be washing feces out of my PRETEEN's panties.

[Valkie]

My ex-SO's 9 yo used to do this too. He had stomach problems & never wiped himself fully. Must be a 9 yo thing.

Valkie, did you ever make him do his own laundry?

Pretty much. I refused to touch it. He had to collect it and get it in the washing machine, but I turned the machine on and did the rest of it.

He's gotten better since then, at least now he attempts to wipe... or at least gets ride of the klingons, so now there's just a little bit of a skid mark. Considering where he started at, it's a hell of an improvement.

Sequoia, are you seriously saying that you would rather cause the kind of mental and emotional damage that making a 9 year old wear diapers would cause than to do a little bit more laundry or use a bit more bleach? Sorry, but I for one do not like to use guilt or shame as a tactic for teaching a child.

[Sequoia]

Sequoia, are you seriously saying that you would rather cause the kind of mental and emotional damage that making a 9 year old wear diapers would cause than to do a little bit more laundry or use a bit more bleach? Sorry, but I for one do not like to use guilt or shame as a tactic for teaching a child.

Short of physiological/medical reasons or some kind of abuse, a nine year old should be ashamed when he cannot be bothered to wipe the feces off of his own bottom.

I could understand a toddler, or even a six year old. But a nine year old? Unless he's been seriously neglected or abused, he should be able to wipe his own butt. And if he has no medical reason, if it's 'I'm too busy" or "it's not important" or something along those lines, then damn skippy he's gonna be wearing those "overnights." If he can't be a big boy and make it to the potty, clean and sanitary, he's going to wear a diaper until he can be a big boy.

Honestly. If he hasn't got a medical reason, then he hasn't got a reason. If his parents neglected to show him how to wipe his own anus, then yeah- it's their fault. But by the age of nine, somebody should have shown a child how to wipe their butt...

What part of scraping the feces off of one's own rear is so difficult that we must coddle a child and bleach his or her panties? That's simply disgusting!

Let me guess... you'd tolerate this in your grown husband, too? Skidmarks?

Because they're... ooh god *shudders* that's inexcusable, to me. If they're school age, they should be able to wipe their butts. Period.

[Aislingraven]

Short of physiological/medical reasons or some kind of abuse, a nine year old should be ashamed when he cannot be bothered to wipe the feces off of his own bottom.

I could understand a toddler, or even a six year old. But a nine year old? Unless he's been seriously neglected or abused, he should be able to wipe his own butt. And if he has no medical reason, if it's 'I'm too busy" or "it's not important" or something along those lines, then damn skippy he's gonna be wearing those "overnights." If he can't be a big boy and make it to the potty, clean and sanitary, he's going to wear a diaper until he can be a big boy.

Honestly. If he hasn't got a medical reason, then he hasn't got a reason. If his parents neglected to show him how to wipe his own anus, then yeah- it's their fault. But by the age of nine, somebody should have shown a child how to wipe their butt...

What part of scraping the feces off of one's own rear is so difficult that we must coddle a child and bleach his or her panties? That's simply disgusting!

Let me guess... you'd tolerate this in your grown husband, too? Skidmarks?

Because they're... ooh god *shudders* that's inexcusable, to me. If they're school age, they should be able to wipe their butts. Period.
there is always a reason for a child to behave that way, even if it's only "he doesn't know how".

we don't even know the rest of the story, just generalizing what we "think" might be the issue when it's clear it could be a million things..
The advice on this was wonder btw.. don't get me wrong there. I think you guys covered just about any issue that might be present..

[Sequoia]

there is always a reason for a child to behave that way, even if it's only "he doesn't know how".

we don't even know the rest of the story, just generalizing what we "think" might be the issue when it's clear it could be a million things..

No no, I understand that. And like I said, if the kid's got a medical condition, or has been abused somehow, I can see why you'd need to take extra time and care with him.

But if he's simply not taking the time to wipe his bottom... that's just rediculous and unsanitary to the extreme. And to coddle any boy and say "It's okay, Johnny, skidmarks are normal - even your daddy makes them!" is just disgusting.

If a child (or adult!) can't be bothered to wipe the feces off of their anus, can't be bothered, then they're going to be wearing diapers. Period. Because it'd be pretty neglectful to simply let Johnny sit in dirty, feces-ridden underpants.

If he won't wipe, he can feel embarrassed, and rightly so. It's not that difficult to wipe, nor bathe, nor use mouthwash. Short of extinuating circomstances, a person should feel ashamed for a willful lack of hygene. It's the parent's place to make certain a child is hygenic - so if he won't wipe, he should be provided with hygenic Pull-Ups. And Daddy should be in there with a baby wipe, every time the kid goes. Perhaps then Junior would be willing to wipe his own bottom.

[Ceres]

No no, I understand that. And like I said, if the kid's got a medical condition, or has been abused somehow, I can see why you'd need to take extra time and care with him.

But if he's simply not taking the time to wipe his bottom... that's just rediculous and unsanitary to the extreme. And to coddle any boy and say "It's okay, Johnny, skidmarks are normal - even your daddy makes them!" is just disgusting.

If a child (or adult!) can't be bothered to wipe the feces off of their anus, can't be bothered, then they're going to be wearing diapers. Period. Because it'd be pretty neglectful to simply let Johnny sit in dirty, feces-ridden underpants.

If he won't wipe, he can feel embarrassed, and rightly so. It's not that difficult to wipe, nor bathe, nor use mouthwash. Short of extinuating circomstances, a person should feel ashamed for a willful lack of hygene. It's the parent's place to make certain a child is hygenic - so if he won't wipe, he should be provided with hygenic Pull-Ups. And Daddy should be in there with a baby wipe, every time the kid goes. Perhaps then Junior would be willing to wipe his own bottom.

I dont know what planet you live on, but skidmarks has its own slang term because it is a fact of life. They happen at least occasionally to even the most ardently sanitary butt wiper - unless your poop resembles a rabbits because you are so constipated. Sorry to be so graphic, but I think its kinda like masturbation, anyone who denies EVER having had a skidmark in their adult life is lying or their poop resembles pebbles.

Edited to add: this is the most absurd thread I have ever seen in 7 years online ;)

[Aislingraven]

I dont know what planet you live on, but skidmarks has its own slang term because it is a fact of life. They happen at least occasionally to even the most ardently sanitary butt wiper - unless your poop resembles a rabbits because you are so constipated. Sorry to be so graphic, but I think its kinda like masturbation, anyone who denies EVER having had a skidmark in their adult life is lying or their poop resembles pebbles.

Edited to add: this is the most absurd thread I have ever seen in 7 years online ;)

that was awesome.
bows.

[Sequoia]

I dont know what planet you live on, but skidmarks has its own slang term because it is a fact of life. They happen at least occasionally to even the most ardently sanitary butt wiper - unless your poop resembles a rabbits because you are so constipated. Sorry to be so graphic, but I think its kinda like masturbation, anyone who denies EVER having had a skidmark in their adult life is lying or their poop resembles pebbles.

Edited to add: this is the most absurd thread I have ever seen in 7 years online ;)

lol yes, it is absurd.

But seriously... does the normal populace have constant diarreah? Because the one and only time in my life that I "messed" my undies, I had the flu. And I was seven or so.

But really - wtf is so wrong with expecting someone to wipe their own bottom? Especially if there are no extinuating circomstances (like abuse or illness)?

Why should a child who, as quoted earlier, feels he is "too busy" to wipe his own butt- be coddled and given special attention?

... spanking a child is abuse, but letting him sit in his own feces is not? Rad, I'll never understand your methods of parenting. :p

[MoonKnight]

Originally Posted by Radikalwomyn
this is the most absurd thread I have ever seen in 7 years online

If the kid is capable of wiping on his own then I agree completely.

[Aislingraven]

lol yes, it is absurd.

But seriously... does the normal populace have constant diarreah? Because the one and only time in my life that I "messed" my undies, I had the flu. And I was seven or so.

But really - wtf is so wrong with expecting someone to wipe their own bottom? Especially if there are no extinuating circomstances (like abuse or illness)?

Why should a child who, as quoted earlier, feels he is "too busy" to wipe his own butt- be coddled and given special attention?

... spanking a child is abuse, but letting him sit in his own feces is not? Rad, I'll never understand your methods of parenting. :p

There is more than one way to handle it. letting them sit in there own sh*t IS gross. I don't think anyone is saying that (or at least that is how I took it).. It's the "HUMILIATE THEM" that I have an issue with. I have a problematic butt wiper in my OWN house.. she is 5 and there have been times when my boys have been sooo excited to get back to whatever they are doing that they ended up with "streaks" not all the time but , if you'll excuse me, sh*t happens.
it's just poop. kids don't come with a manual. you live and learn the best that you can.. you can't stomp their spirit just because they are in a hurry.. ROFL
and I don't think you should force your own issues on them.. ocd behavior is not healthy for a 9 year old.

:toofless:

[Ceres]

Actually, what I meant by absurd is that people are getting really into this and lets face it - it's poop - everyone does it, so get over it :)

This is what this thread needs:

www.geocities.com/Heartland/hills/3456/h_poopies.html

[Ceres]

lol yes, it is absurd.

But seriously... does the normal populace have constant diarreah? Because the one and only time in my life that I "messed" my undies, I had the flu. And I was seven or so.

But really - wtf is so wrong with expecting someone to wipe their own bottom? Especially if there are no extinuating circomstances (like abuse or illness)?

Why should a child who, as quoted earlier, feels he is "too busy" to wipe his own butt- be coddled and given special attention?

... spanking a child is abuse, but letting him sit in his own feces is not? Rad, I'll never understand your methods of parenting. :p

I wonder why you think that I believe spanking is abuse?

My original post on this thread follows exactly with my methods of parenting - natural consequences. No child is abused because his butt is itchy because he was too busy to wipe it. He has learned a valuable lesson by feeling the itch and did it all on his own. This is all I suggested. This is not abuse or neglect and probably happens to most kids because lets face it - we all like to learn things the hard way.

I will never understand your ideas about parenting either sequoia! Abuse? From letting a nine year old figure out for himself why we wipe our butts carefully and thoroghly?

[Valkie]

Short of physiological/medical reasons or some kind of abuse, a nine year old should be ashamed when he cannot be bothered to wipe the feces off of his own bottom.

I could understand a toddler, or even a six year old. But a nine year old? Unless he's been seriously neglected or abused, he should be able to wipe his own butt. And if he has no medical reason, if it's 'I'm too busy" or "it's not important" or something along those lines, then damn skippy he's gonna be wearing those "overnights." If he can't be a big boy and make it to the potty, clean and sanitary, he's going to wear a diaper until he can be a big boy.

Honestly. If he hasn't got a medical reason, then he hasn't got a reason. If his parents neglected to show him how to wipe his own anus, then yeah- it's their fault. But by the age of nine, somebody should have shown a child how to wipe their butt...

What part of scraping the feces off of one's own rear is so difficult that we must coddle a child and bleach his or her panties? That's simply disgusting!

Let me guess... you'd tolerate this in your grown husband, too? Skidmarks?

Because they're... ooh god *shudders* that's inexcusable, to me. If they're school age, they should be able to wipe their butts. Period.

Since you brought it up... no. Hubby goes comando. And after that post, I thank the gods that you are not my mother. My post was not about the child not knowing how to do it, it was about the actual contemplation of using shame as a method to teach. It's not acceptable in any teaching position and if any teacher tried to pull it in a public system there would be all hell to pay.

[Zoritsa_Nepenthe]

Short of physiological/medical reasons or some kind of abuse, a nine year old should be ashamed when he cannot be bothered to wipe the feces off of his own bottom.

I could understand a toddler, or even a six year old. But a nine year old? Unless he's been seriously neglected or abused, he should be able to wipe his own butt. And if he has no medical reason, if it's 'I'm too busy" or "it's not important" or something along those lines, then damn skippy he's gonna be wearing those "overnights." If he can't be a big boy and make it to the potty, clean and sanitary, he's going to wear a diaper until he can be a big boy.

Honestly. If he hasn't got a medical reason, then he hasn't got a reason. If his parents neglected to show him how to wipe his own anus, then yeah- it's their fault. But by the age of nine, somebody should have shown a child how to wipe their butt...

What part of scraping the feces off of one's own rear is so difficult that we must coddle a child and bleach his or her panties? That's simply disgusting!

Let me guess... you'd tolerate this in your grown husband, too? Skidmarks?

Because they're... ooh god *shudders* that's inexcusable, to me. If they're school age, they should be able to wipe their butts. Period.
:wtf: Nevermind.....................

[Dio]

Radikalwomyn, will I take your advice on parenting. I have always agreed with your views and ideas. And yes, this is one of the stupidest threads I have seen :lol:

Sequoia, perhaps you should wait until you actually have kids of your own to raise before you start criticizing other people's parenting skills. You have no idea what it is actually like, and humiliation is no way to teach kids a lesson.

[Sequoia]

Umm... Yes, guys. Because letting him sit in his own crap is much more preferable than possibly temporarily hurting his feelings. Because as everyone knows, you can't hurt the child's feelings- that's much more important that the possibility of rash or a lifetime of poor hygene.

That's okay. It'll be interesting to see how your kids turn out. Because as you say, I haven't raised mine yet - thank god. I'm waiting. Maybe by the time I have kids, everyone'll be past this rediculous phase of "don't hurt the children! Shelter the children!"

... I still don't understand how you all can think it's okay to sit in your own poop. Show the kid how to wipe, for Christ's sake. If he chooses NOT to, willfully, then I'm not going to have him wasting clean underpants.

Maybe you like doing poopy laundry. :p

[Ceres]

Umm... Yes, guys. Because letting him sit in his own crap is much more preferable than possibly temporarily hurting his feelings. Because as everyone knows, you can't hurt the child's feelings- that's much more important that the possibility of rash or a lifetime of poor hygene.

That's okay. It'll be interesting to see how your kids turn out. Because as you say, I haven't raised mine yet - thank god. I'm waiting. Maybe by the time I have kids, everyone'll be past this rediculous phase of "don't hurt the children! Shelter the children!"

... I still don't understand how you all can think it's okay to sit in your own poop. Show the kid how to wipe, for Christ's sake. If he chooses NOT to, willfully, then I'm not going to have him wasting clean underpants.

Maybe you like doing poopy laundry. :p

Are you a long jumper, by chance? You seem gifted at making enormous leaps.

[Sequoia]

Are you a long jumper, by chance? You seem gifted at making enormous leaps.

Well, if you feel it's still okay for a kid to leave excrement in his pants even AFTER he's been shown how to wipe, and you don't feel the need to correct him, what can one assume other than you like washing poopy dungeroos?

[Valkie]

Maybe you like doing poopy laundry. :p

Lesson #1 of being a parent: If you can't handle poo, being peed on, or puked on repeatedly for at least 3 years, this isn't the job for you.

Most of us become immune to the things that disgust others after caring for an infant.

[Lunacie]

Lesson #1 of being a parent: If you can't handle poo, being peed on, or puked on repeatedly for at least 3 years, this isn't the job for you.


:uhhuhuh: Uh huh !

[Sequoia]

Lesson #1 of being a parent: If you can't handle poo, being peed on, or puked on repeatedly for at least 3 years, this isn't the job for you.

Most of us become immune to the things that disgust others after caring for an infant.

*chuckles* Infant/toddler ickies are one thing... but should a nine year old really be leaving excrement in his own pants, even after he's been thoroughly examined AND shown how to wipe?

That, my friends, is my question.

[Lunacie]

*chuckles* Infant/toddler ickies are one thing... but should a nine year old really be leaving excrement in his own pants, even after he's been thoroughly examined AND shown how to wipe?

That, my friends, is my question.

Um, I thought the question was how to get the boy to wipe, not whether he should be wiping.

[Sequoia]

Um, I thought the question was how to get the boy to wipe, not whether he should be wiping.

Erm... I thought the argument that some folks were presenting was that the boy should be allowed to keep 'messing' his underoos, until he becomes self-motivated to do something about it (which it doesn't sound like he'd come to the point of) ?

See, because my response to that is (insert shudder) that he should be wearing disposable underwear until he figures out that he should wipe. Since there is NO good reason for the boy to not be wiping.

[Ceres]

*chuckles* Infant/toddler ickies are one thing... but should a nine year old really be leaving excrement in his own pants, even after he's been thoroughly examined AND shown how to wipe?

That, my friends, is my question.

I am confused now....I thought the question was whether or not we should make the nine year old wear diapers because he gets skid marks?

[Sequoia]

I am confused now....I thought the question was whether or not we should make the nine year old wear diapers because he gets skid marks?

... yeah... it's poop stuck to the panties. o_o;

I don't know, I wouldn't regularly put a kid in clean undies if I knew he'd mess them. Until he could remember to wipe himself, he'd have to wear throw-aways.

Have you ever tried to get out skidmark stains? *shudders*

[kblackthorne]

I agree- get baby wipes. Hell, I'm an adult, and I have to use them ... It sucks in price, but what I noticed is that you get a LOT cleaner with wipes.

A cheaper solution (that I have personally been using for over 10 years, and have successfully recommended to a couple adults who were having various issues):

Grab some TP before you sit down, and get it wet.

Wet-wipe, then dry-wipe (well, dry-pat, really).

This way, no issue of disposing of soiled wipe, or dealing with "flushable" wipes clogging the toilet.

[Sequoia]

A cheaper solution (that I have personally been using for over 10 years, and have successfully recommended to a couple adults who were having various issues):

Grab some TP before you sit down, and get it wet.

Wet-wipe, then dry-wipe (well, dry-pat, really).

This way, no issue of disposing of soiled wipe, or dealing with "flushable" wipes clogging the toilet.

I would, but... :lol: then bits of toilet paper cling to you.

I feel cleaner with the wipes, anyway. ^^;

[Aislingraven]

I would, but... :lol: then bits of toilet paper cling to you.

I feel cleaner with the wipes, anyway. ^^;

They make those big kid wipes that you can flush
:crown:

[darkfaery]

I just had to respond to ths thread even though it is so silly...

Unfortunately, quite a few boys go through this phase, it is not a matter of extreme amounts of poop on the underwear, but they get lazy and can't be bothered. My son is going through it now, and I am constantly on him to take care of it. And he is a little older. It drives me crazy, but I refuse to do it for him, he was doing it all by himself before now. He's too old for this. And I definately think at this age it is a boy thing.

I have to say though, I like the idea of the baby wipes though, I didn't think of that.

[BlueMoon13]

Think on the bright side....imagine how much worse this whole problem would be if the kids were "going commando"....... :yikes:

[darkfaery]

Think on the bright side....imagine how much worse this whole problem would be if the kids were "going commando"....... :yikes:

Hee hee Yikes is right!!!!

[Zoritsa_Nepenthe]

I just had to respond to ths thread even though it is so silly...

Unfortunately, quite a few boys go through this phase, it is not a matter of extreme amounts of poop on the underwear, but they get lazy and can't be bothered. My son is going through it now, and I am constantly on him to take care of it. And he is a little older. It drives me crazy, but I refuse to do it for him, he was doing it all by himself before now. He's too old for this. And I definately think at this age it is a boy thing.

I have to say though, I like the idea of the baby wipes though, I didn't think of that.
You know what though? While this may be a silly topic/thread....first time parents have no clue what is normal for kids at different ages/stages,and what can be done about it.I wish I had the types of message boards nowadays when I had my first child.There was so much I didn't know,and yet so little advice on certain topics that even others knew nothing about.While this may have been better addressed on a parenting board(I'm sure this would have been a bit less sidetracked with ewwwwww's and childless people commenting),I'm glad there are people who can relate and can offer any bits of advice possible.Thats why this area is here...Family and Parenting.

I for one am glad that any topic can be addressed with civilized advice.I just tend to try and ignore the comments and remarks from those who have not experienced it yet.I chuckle and think...someday,their time will come :hahugh:

[Ceres]

This is a very good point, Zorista. I am fortunate enough to have a few friends with older children who were able to help me relax about parenting and put my efforts into the important aspects so I didnt get so caught up in the minute that I forget the big picture.
Skid marks in underwear are like a lot of hygine things with kids through the years of grade school - kids really dont care about them at that age....how many of us are hard pressed to get a ten year old to take a bath once a week and yet five years later, cant get them OUT of their thrice daily showers? These are just phases that, while annoying, are not life threatening and are certainly not worth destroying your relationship with your child over by turning them into a drama/tragedy.

[darkfaery]

I absolutely agree, I just meant silly in the sense of what the thread was being reduced too. I also wish I had had these resources when my kids were small.
I stand by my statements that these things happen. Boys are gross. They don't think the way we do yet.
Like Radikalwomyn said, I have a huge issue trying to get my son (11)into the shower, but once he's in there, he's worse than anyone. Soon enough it's going to be the complete opposite, so I just have to keep remembering it's all a phase...

[BlueMoon13]

Boys are gross. :T They don't think the way we do yet. So, when do they start? :whatgives
Soon enough it's going to be the complete opposite, so I just have to keep remembering it's all a phase... Please ,gods.... :kooky:

[bluglass]

I know what you mean. My son is going on eight. I think the hygiene gene or lack there of turns on here. He can do it and he really is too big for me to do it. He just doesn't have the hang of how to get really clean without rubbing himself raw. Solution, not baby wipes, but the new flushable wipes. I have the tubs that hold a whole pack in each bathroom, my mom used them and loved them so she got them and has them in her houses. She discovered a smaller pack that is resealable to take out of the house. They have about 10 wipes each so I bought a bunch and put a couple in my son's school bag. Now I just have to get him to remember to use them at school. The whole thing just makes for an extra load of wash since I can't stomach to put his underwear in with all the other underwear.

[~~Cypher~~]

Edited to add: this is the most absurd thread I have ever seen in 7 years online ;)

Sorry for my extended absence... I was just checking on things and reading the comments to this thread when I came apon this post... and this little edit here... Radikalwomyn... i hope that you ever have a situation like this... and if u do... dont expect a response from me... because I will deem the post "absurd". Even though the 9yo is not my child that response was plain rude and should have been kept to yourself in my humble opinion.

[~~Cypher~~]

Once Again, Sorry for my extended absence, I have had many things to deal with and none of them were pleasant.

As a touch up to this... so people can understand... its not that he cant wipe himself... its the fact that he wont... he just, and pardon the graphic details, poops and goes, thats that... they have tried most toliet wipes... the Kandoo ones... and it doesnt work... they've even tried things like... worms in the butt or something like that.. im not too sure...

[Ceres]

Sorry for my extended absence... I was just checking on things and reading the comments to this thread when I came apon this post... and this little edit here... Radikalwomyn... i hope that you ever have a situation like this... and if u do... dont expect a response from me... because I will deem the post "absurd". Even though the 9yo is not my child that response was plain rude and should have been kept to yourself in my humble opinion.

Uh...dont be so quick to judge. If you had bothered to read the whole thread, which you obviously didnt (kinda rude, considering you asked for these opinions) you would have seen that the context of the absurd remark was not in that a thread was needed for it, but in that it had gone off on an unrelated tangent. Indeed, if you HAD read the thread, you would have understood I HAVE had a sitation like this and answered with my advice on it. Please dont expect responses from me on any more of your posts since you clearly have no respect for the time that people spend replying to your questions.

[~~Cypher~~]

hahahahahaha w/e lady of course i didnt finish the thread... that would be how i replied to urs... then posted my own follow up... gee that takes a LOT of figurin out

[Sequoia]

Sorry for my extended absence... I was just checking on things and reading the comments to this thread when I came apon this post... and this little edit here... Radikalwomyn... i hope that you ever have a situation like this... and if u do... dont expect a response from me... because I will deem the post "absurd". Even though the 9yo is not my child that response was plain rude and should have been kept to yourself in my humble opinion.
Umm... she was refering to the ranting I'd been doing, amongst other things. Which, yes, it's a bit absurd to rant about poopies on the panties. Then again, it's absurd to me to have poop on your panties in the first place, if you aren't ill.

Based on your second post, I'd put the kid in pull-ups. He obviously doesn't care, and if he isn't even wiping at ALL, that's pretty disgusting. Tell him that until he goes potty like a big boy, he'll need to wear a diaper. Simple as that. Watch how fast the little brat takes the time to wipe his butt, when his buddies ask why his pants are puffy.

[Sequoia]

hahahahahaha w/e lady of course i didnt finish the thread... that would be how i replied to urs... then posted my own follow up... gee that takes a LOT of figurin out
Wow, chill out, Cypher.

[~~Cypher~~]

its been a long couple of days... no sleep or caffine make Cypher get cranky...