need a shoulder

[faeriedust]

i am so upset. i don't know where to begin. i think i undestand why my daughter doesn't want to live with me. it isn't me she doesn't want to live with, its my husband. she hates the way he treats all of us especially me. he can be and usually is very verbally mean to me. i love him but i want to leave but yet i am scared to death of raising four daughters alone. what if he is right and i will never find anyone else to love me again????? I am letting a man destoy my family. I am so stupid and everyone can feel free to tell me so. we have been though marriage counciling and it didn't help because he didn't do anything wrong and every councilor i have been to eight in the last year has told me i need to leave him because he is destroying me mentally. so he doesn't want me to see anyone for my depression, because they are all against him, that if i wouldn't make him mad he would'nt have to go off on me. i guess i just needed to talk to someone scince i don't have friends either because of the way he treats me. i am sorry i bothered everyone with my problems

[Euphoria]

oh faerie ... i am sooo sorry, you arent bothering us .. we are glad to help and you DO have friends ... you have us... personally because i dont know your husband i can only go on what u tell me but i think if he treats you like that then you SHOULD leave him ... you WILL find someone else because people are desperate to find people like you ... and if he is tearing your family apart then definetly i would leave him ... your daughters should come first !!!!! and in fact so should you !!!! Whatever you want to talk iabout ... i'll always be here !!

Luv and brightest blessings

Charysma

[StormChaser]

Let me tell you hunny, your children are your life blood. This man is hurting you, your family..
He will not change with hoping. You have to do for what is directly you and yours.
He will tear you guys apart at this rate.. that is clear by your posts. Your daughter is in fight or flight mode. If she can't fight the beast... she will run away. Do not lose your children because of a man who will not change his ways with all the dreaming and the praying. I can garuntee you there is a better man out there for you, and your family. This man is NOT the one. More than likely, somewhere in your head it is the fear of being alone that drives you to stay with him.

You are not alone. You have children who love you, family I'm sure somewhere that adores you, and there are people all about this world, women and men alike, who are going through, and have been through the same things.

If you need to talk in email it's sarah@bobspoolservice.com
Goddess Bless,
Storm Chaser

[flar7]

If he loved you truly, then he would do anything to ensure your happiness. If he causes you to suffer, and he seems to know he does, then you should leave.
I dont mean to be nosy, but its not financial security that keeps you with him is it?
I have seen that sort of enslavement and it is the hardest to break free from. But there are groups that will help.

And dont worry too much about not finding another, us guys grow on trees, just go pick another one and say "follow me!"

Dont let anyone cause you to be miserable or to feel helpless. You are a mother, that means you are anything except helpless.
:boing:

[Flaire-FireStar]

It's horrible the way your husband is treating you, and it shouldn't be like that. Your marriage should be happy. And like the other have said, your children are your flesh and blood and they should come first. They are a part of you and nothing can change that.

I've read some things on abusive guys before and they all basically said the same thing: they're insecure with themselves and must make someone else feel less than they are to make themselves feel big.
Your husband probably knows what he's doing by making you depressed and the such, but if you can find the strength and courage, get yourself out of there. It's no good for you to stay there and be verbally attacked all the time. (sorry if I'm sounding mean here...)

Good luck.

[faeriedust]

i think it is the fear of being alone. he an my family off a long time ago, and my friends. i can get up in the morning and be happy and so full of life and in the hoour he is here , he can absolutely make me realize that i am nothing and could never make it without him. i didn't use to let othe people tear me down.

[Da Witch]

Originally posted by faeriedust
i am so upset. i don't know where to begin. i think i undestand why my daughter doesn't want to live with me. it isn't me she doesn't want to live with, its my husband. she hates the way he treats all of us especially me. he can be and usually is very verbally mean to me. i love him but i want to leave but yet i am scared to death of raising four daughters alone. what if he is right and i will never find anyone else to love me again????? I am letting a man destoy my family. I am so stupid and everyone can feel free to tell me so. we have been though marriage counciling and it didn't help because he didn't do anything wrong and every councilor i have been to eight in the last year has told me i need to leave him because he is destroying me mentally. so he doesn't want me to see anyone for my depression, because they are all against him, that if i wouldn't make him mad he would'nt have to go off on me. i guess i just needed to talk to someone scince i don't have friends either because of the way he treats me. i am sorry i bothered everyone with my problems

That bull sh*t and you know it there is NO reason that no one else would love you. Don't you ever in your life believe that garbage. He is a control freak and you need to get you and your 4 daughters the hell out of there. I will send you an application for Low income housing and you can get the *F* out of that house now. Not only for your mental heath but for your kids.

[faeriedust]

money is a big reason. i have four kids 14,7,4,3 and i ok part time at night. e have one car and its in his name and he told me kids or not i could not have it, i have no family to help me, i feel really stuck. flaire, you are not sounding mean at all.

[Euphoria]

Ok seen as i am younger than you (i think) then i cannot take3 the Big sister approach so i'll take the coach approach ....

Here is your Peptok

You are Everything .... he is nothing ... you and your children together are pwerful and unique ... you can make it without him ... There are plenty of people that would love you ... the true love is out there ... he is the one with the problem not you but if you stay with him then it becomes your problem ... soooo .... GET THE HE*L OUTTA THERE

Brightest Blessings
c:\My Documents\Light.bmp

[Da Witch]

Originally posted by faeriedust
money is a big reason. i have four kids 14,7,4,3 and i ok part time at night. e have one car and its in his name and he told me kids or not i could not have it, i have no family to help me, i feel really stuck. flaire, you are not sounding mean at all.

there are housing authorities in your area and if you do not like the area you're in you CAN apply in other areas I will get phone #s for you . You will get out of the situation you are in. I'll have the #'s for you tomorrow

[faeriedust]

the housing authorities around here have year waiting lists. i think he is being verbally mean to my babies when i am at work..
plus if i leave i have no car and no way to wok or anything else.

[Euphoria]

you know that when you apply for divorce you can appeal for the house for your childrens sake and the courts can require him to make monthly payments to you ....... this sounds nosey but i am trying to help .. do u have a joint account ??



C:\My Documents\123456.bmp

p.s maybe you should arrange for your kids not to be around him like going to a friends while u are at work etc

[Da Witch]

Originally posted by Euphoria
you know that when you apply for divorce you can appeal for the house for your childrens sake and the courts can require him to make monthly payments to you ....... this sounds nosey but i am trying to help .. do u have a joint account ??



C:\My Documents\123456.bmp

p.s maybe you should arrange for your kids not to be around him like going to a friends while u are at work etc



They aren't his kids

The judge might not award her the house b/c he didn't father the children

[faeriedust]

i am not kidding when i say i don'have any friends.. none, we almost got a divoce last nov. and he told his lawyer that iwas on zoloft and wasn't taking my meds right and freaked out on him and his laywer fixed it whee he would have one the divorce . he did that because i left him when he was arested for domestic abuse for pushing me. i was gonna get 200.00 a month child support .

[Euphoria]

sorry i never thought about that ... u have a point

[faeriedust]

the 4 yr old and 3 yr old is his. the 14 and 7 is not.

[Da Witch]

Then guess what
That house and that car are as good as yours as well as alimony and child support.


FILE FOR DIVORCE

[faeriedust]

i don't have the money for a lawer. tennessee is a non alimony state.

[faeriedust]

i know deep down inside that i have to do this. i am still trying to figure out how i can love someone who is hurting my children. if i weren't so scared of being able to take cae of the girls alone, i would do it in a heartbeat. i cannot take it anymore.

[Lavender]

In light of what's been happening to you (from your other postings), are you SURE this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? Are there women's shelters where you are? Can you phone social services for numbers of places you can go? There must be some emergency services or something.

[Euphoria]

Yes but guess what hun ... the courts can make him pay for lawyers fees too

Charysma

[Danustouch]

Just because it is a Non-alimony state, doesn't mean you won't be able to get money out of him....for child support. You need to consult a family court lawyer. I'm sure you can find some help. You just have to have the courage to seek, and to NOT GIVE UP. You've got to find a way out of this, honey. And I know that you will find a way out, if you try. Don't keep telling yourself it can't be done. Tell yourself it WILL be done. And then...call every social agency available, and find out HOW.

[StormChaser]

Do you have no family at all? Have you looked online at all for friends in your area?

Does your DAUGHTER have friends she can stay with???

~Storm

[StormChaser]

Do you have AIM\YIM\MSNMG?

[faeriedust]

that is just it, it's just like i woke up and thought what the hell am i doing to my childen and to myself. i can't even remember the last time i was truly happy with him

[faeriedust]

icq, aim my user name is becqueeta7020. i have to be careful about what is said about leaving him when he is home. he will deleate my computer acess if he finds out i am talking about it he will be here about 4:15 cst.

[Xander67]

well I know I am a male, but may I offer an opinion from a male perspective.... you need to think of you and your children FIRST....

and mabey what you need is time to heal, and time to reconnect with your children.... get back in touch with your true self again, if I am guessing right, perhaps there are things that you enjoy doing but had to do without for one reason or another ....

In my opinion that is what i think you need, time to heal and time to be a family with your children....

as for meeting someone, Im sure that the Goddess has something wonderfull planned for you, you jsut have to find the courage within yourself to take your life back....

[MammaStar]

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!

I too had to put up with that crap for YEARS, because I didn't know any better. Why??? because my Dad abused my Mom so I thought that's how it is when you are in a relationship. Get out, not only for your sake, but for your daughter's sake. My Mother is the strongest woman I know. Why? cause she DID realize that being abused is not OKay, not matter the excuse (my dad is a viet nam vet & has post traumatic stress disorder). She left him for good when I was 12. Yes, it was hard. Very hard. But you have your kids & she tells us that if it wasn't for me & my brother, she'd gone nuts. Unfortuneately, I didn't follow her example for a long time. I was abused as a teen by my boyfriend, physically (he was a coke addict back then) and verbally & mentally by my son's dad & most recent ex. I was convinced this was my lot in life. That I couldn't do any better. Then you know what happened? I met Eshallet.
He is kind, supportive, & strong. Takes a lot of my B.S. & points out to me that it's B.S. & doesn't make me feel bad for how I think, feel, say or do.

You WILL find someone, but first you must get out and find yourself. Show your girls that it's not okay to be treated this way. That a woman CAN and WILL MAKE IT ON HER OWN.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!


Of course, feel free to PM me or email me @ witchemom615@aol.com.

[Xois]

You can get assistance in your state (legal and medical) but YOU have got to take the first step!

You don't need friends...you don't need husbands...YOU CAN DO THIS

*HUG*

Where are you in TN?

I am sparking up my shrine for you--to send you strenght and good vibes

I will call my sis and have her ramp up her prayer circle! We all love you and know you can do this!

I'll mention you at the UU service this Sunday as well during "Joys and Concerns" and light a candle for you

Its going to be hard as hell...but you can do it!

I am here if you need me
Jennifer

[Wiccan Maeve]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{FaerieDust}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}, you poor dear. From what you've said it really sounds like divorce is your best option. You're right, it won't be easy, but is the situation you're in easy? I don't think it is. It's time for you to put you and your children first. You know what you need to do, and if you look deep down I know the strength is within in you to do it.

I've been in several abusive relationships so I know that people like your husband rarely change. I believe that you love him, but does he really love you? And not for one minute should you believe that you won't find love again.

I'm here for you as everyone one at Mystic Wicks is I'm sure. Feel free to IM me any time if you need someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on.

ICQ - 91359323, MSN - HoneyDreads@Hotmail.com, Yahoo - HoneyDreads, AIM - HoneyDreads, Email - HoneyDreads@DrakMail.net

Love & light always,
Kristin aka Wiccan Maeve

[Xois]

Use the resources at you local level...Find the area UU church and go to them. They might have info on a shelter, jobs, legal assistance and medical asisstance...at least they might be able to point you in the right direction!

[Sita]

.

[Xois]

Your family will help you, even if he ran them off...call them!

[Xois]

It might not be your area, BUT they WILL be able to give the numbers in your area

http://www.chattanooga.net/da/domvio11.html

Also, contact your local rep...they can help too

This website has a TON of services listed by area

Please check it out

http://www.state.tn.us/sos/ecw/resource.htm

[StormChaser]

"just leave" "you don't need anyone"
The results are IN and you do need a safety plan, which may or may not involve needing other people. To leave right away without thought can be more dangerous than staying


http://nashville.about.com/sitesearch.htm?terms=abuse+help&SUName=nashville&type=0&TopNode=3042&Action.x=0&Action.y=0

http://incestabuse.about.com/

http://www.exchangeclub.net/programs.htm

http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/abusehelplines/index.htm?terms=abuse+help

Contact local hospitals they can point youin the right direction. So can the police.

Look in your phone book for aid from domestic abuse etc.

~Storm Chaser

[SpikesPet5150]

"he can absolutely make me realize that i am nothing and could never make it without him. "

No, he does NOT make you "realize" this.. he makes you *THINK* this. You are so far from nothing!! You're not stupid, you're not ugly, you're not unloveable.

My sister was in an abusive relationship... and even though she's my older sister, I still feel protective of her... and I know, without a doubt, even if the karma comes back to me 3X.. if I ever saw that man I would kill him. This man took my sister to AZ, wouldn't allow her to talk to her friends or family for 3 years. We had no idea where she was. You need to call your family. I'm sure they're worried about you.

If for nothing else, do it for your children. Just as Ldy Starlight said.. this is a cycle... do you want your daughters to grow up and think this is "normal" and get into one of these kinds of relationships? I didn't think so. You CAN raise these girls by yourself, if you need to.

We're all hoping for you.. there will be many candles lit and lots of strength and energy coming your way. You can do this.
~Bree

[Xander67]

I agree with Bree...

in some states, Mental and psychological abuse is a crime punishable by law....

[Danustouch]

Also..call your local Salvation Army, your local redcross, these agencies are federally backed to GIVE aid, where aid is needed. Call your local family court, they might be able to help you find a lawyer who will waive the regular fees for the divorce. DO NOT WAIT. Do this tomorrow.

You would be surprised how easy it is for kids to pick up patterns from their parents. If you have sons, they could pick up patterns from your husband. If you have daughters, they might pick up patterns from you. Do NOT allow this to happen. Make a stand.
You do not need a man in your life, as much as you need your emotional and mental health. You are strong, and you can do this.

Get on the phone to the welfare office tomorrow. Tell them you need to speak to a counselor or somebody who could provide you with some emergency assistance.

Honey..anywhere, is better than where you are right now. You'll make it through this, and we are ALL behind you.

[zhowlingwolf]

Hi and Blessings !!!
I feel sad to hear you are in so much pain !!! I will say this though, I am in the medical feild ( very much in the closet ) and I have seen what depression has done to people !!! Working in the E.R. I have seen the results of depression and abusive relationships, and it I feel for each and every one of them !!!
In Florida we have an organization called " Women in Distress ",
who meet the person in a designated place and make sure they are not followed or harrassed. They provide food clothing and shelter, and even job training. The counciors there are other women who have been there !!! The whereabouts of their housing is not provided to the public so they dont have to feel afraid. They also provide counciling, housing, food and education for the children ( which remain with you ) !!!
I hope they have the same organization where you live !!!
May the God/dess restore your self-esteem and happiness !!!
You have the right of choice for yourself and your children !!!
Blessed Be !!! z-wolf
P.S. if I can help private email me and I'll find out what I can & about the resources of your State !!!

[Danustouch]

the key is ...to NOT GIVE UP!!!!!! Call every civic/social organization in your state, until SOMEBODY listens!

[faeriedust]

i am not in any physical danger, i just want to be happy and my children to be happy. i don't need to run and hide. unless you guys are catching on to something i am not. i just want to make sure that i can take care of my girls before i leave.

[SpikesPet5150]

Abuse is abuse is abuse. Sometimes it's worse to be mentally abused... physical scars heal, mental ones don't.

~Bree

[faeriedust]

i guess i am not realizing that i am being abused.

[faeriedust]

someone askked hat part of tenn i was in, its the memphis area.

[Lavender]

Faeriedust, please call some of the resources that Danus & others have found for you. Whatever you decide to do, at least take that first step. You might find your strength once you start doing something positive. Take it in small steps, if you have to. Do it to prove to yourself that you're worth it & you're a wonderful person.

[faeriedust]

i don't feel very wonderful, look at what i have put my children though, let alone myself. i will do this if for no other reasons than for coutney, kayla, sarah, emily

[Keron]

This really sucks. But the thing is, money or not, your children are being scarred terribly. Is it possible to... I know dignity and face and such, but perhaps welfare or social services may be something to turn to. Okay, so I'm thirteen, and I don't know anything about these situations, but I remember reading something about a protective order... is it possible for you to get one of these?

[faeriedust]

in tenn. you can't get a protective order unless you have been physically abused which i have not. as far as welfare, i am not to good to be on it for awhile, and am gonna call in the morning after he leaves for work. very good advice, and being thirteen has nothing to do with it. :cool:

[Lavender]

Faeriedust, good for you! Please keep us posted on how you are doing. I'm going to bring a candle with me to work tomorrow & light it for you. I have to go to bed now but I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts tonight.

hugs!

[faeriedust]

thank you

[witchywench]

Originally posted by Da Witch


That bull sh*t and you know it there is NO reason that no one else would love you. Don't you ever in your life believe that garbage. He is a control freak and you need to get you and your 4 daughters the hell out of there. I will send you an application for Low income housing and you can get the *F* out of that house now. Not only for your mental heath but for your kids.


Good advice! (read this thread and it put my life in perspective)

Listen honey I'm sorry for what your going through.
You are child of the universe and deserve to be loved and honoured as do your children, this man (I use the term loosely!)
is selfish and will not do that!

Remember - your children must not go through this, get out and get out now by any means!!!

May the light shine upon you even brighter in your time of need!

Hugs & BB

[faeriedust]

thank you for your support, everyone. I won't get much calling done today, he stayed home from work.

[Mythrel]

this guy is a classic example of an abuser...I watch almost the same sh!t happen growing up with my step-father. My mom didn't want to be alone, was afraid to leave him, felt like she couldn't do anything by herself. and it did drive me away. By the time she finally got up the courage to get rid of him, I was gone, I had joined the military and haven't looked back since. My mom to this day apologizes to me for not listening to me and getting rid of him sooner. and desperately wants me to come home.

having been a witness to almost the same damn thing, I have one piece of advice...
GET OUT NOW!!! OR RISK LOSING ALL

I feel for you, and I know what you are going thru...my thoughts are with you....good luck
Mythrel

[Kaylara]

Sweetie,
Coming from a very broken home, I can tell you that it sucks. When my father married another woman, and me and my sister couldn't stand her, he completely alienated us by taking her side even though he knew that she was wrong. I barely spoke to my father for 4 years. He recently divorced her, and we have been speaking somewhat regularly since then, but there is tension between us. He wants to make it up to me though, and feels bad for what he put me through.

You should speak to your older children about this, see what they are feeling and thinking. Tell them how you feel about the situation. If they know that you are upset about the situation, they may be more inclined to open up to you.

I will be in Memphis for one night early next month. (I'm flying down for training at Thomas & Betts HDQ.) If you want, I will give you more info, and perhaps we could meet or something. I can relate to what your kids are going through, and I have younger brothers who have had similar experiences, so I know how to talk to younger people. Let me know, and if you need anything or just need to talk you can e-mail me at paganisme@hotmail.com or Aim me at KaylaraOwl.

Kaylara

[Old Witch]

I am older than dirt, so I can give this advice. Don't think! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! Then think. This may sound strange coming from an old witch, but if all else has failed,call the Catholic charities in your area. They will usually help with food, housing, healthcare no matter your religion. We witches really need to have a fund for something like this, maybe a national fund!!


Love,Strength. and Courage from my family to yours.


:elf:

[faeriedust]

am i that blind, is this really more serious than i think it is?????????? i can't just go, i have no where to go or any way to get there. i was going to call all these places that you guys told me about but he stayed home today.

[Lavender]

That's ok. Call tomorrow. The first step is deciding to DO something - which you've done. You've got the strength to do it. You'll be surprised at how much you're capable of.

[Kaylara]

If you are having these doubts and these worries, then it is more serious than you are letting yourself realize. Don't worry about how much you love him. It sounds like he doesn't deserve it. The real question here is you children. If they are unhappy, and you are unhappy, then there is no reason to stay in the situation. Besides, stability is often the ruse that abusers use to keep their abusee's in line.

Kaylara

[StormChaser]

This is their reply:

Thank you for contacting UT Medical Group.
We forwarded your message to Pam Williams
our Employee Assistance Counselor
and her reply follows.

Joe Lindenfeld
Marketing and Managed Care
UT Medical Group, Inc.
--------------

There are a lot of resources.

Victim's Assistance Center
600 Adams Ave. Memphis, TN 38105
545-HELP (4357)

Exchange Club Family Center - Domestic Violence Assessment Center
2180 Union Ave. Memphis, TN 38104
276-2200

Family Services of the Mid-South
2430 Poplar Ave., 2nd and 3rd Fl. Memphis, TN 38112
324-3637

are all good resources. If you have difficulty
getting phone numbers call me at 448-2327
and I'll assist you.

Pam Williams, LCSW

[StormChaser]

At the very least you need counceling.. assuming that all this stuff is in your head.. Which I personally doubt if your child is desiring to leave.

At the most you need to get out and go away.. but once again.. not without a plan, without backup etc.

Thats why i got these numbers for you.
You can talk to professionals tell them the problems as you see and feel it.. and let them guide you. They are there to help you.
And one way or another, whether it is this serious or not.. that is what they will do.

You asked for shoulder to cry on.. sometimes we spend to much time crying, and not enough time fixing the problems.

~Storm Chaser

[Pheonix]

Faeriedust I don't know if you'll be back on this thread today, but just in case you are I want you to know that you are in my prayers. We as parents have a responsibility to make good examples for our children, they get there first hints at courage through us. If you stay you will be showing your children that it is okay for someome to treat others this way or that it is okay to treat others this way. They often follow in our foot steps, be sure not to lead them to an abused home. I wish you all the liight in the world (and the luck - divorces are tough) once you're free of his tyranny I'm sure your life will be filled with friends again and you'll always have us!

[faeriedust]

if it wasn''t fo my babies, i would have never thought about leaving.. i am so use to it. i will not let my babies be upset!!!!!!!!!
storm chaser, thank you for taking the time to get the numbers, i will use them..

[StormChaser]

Any time hun, and anything. I may not be right around the corner but i AM here.

You may want to look on WitchVox for some friends in your area. I bet you anything there are people in your area.

Please keep us posted on all that happens. My heart is with you, my prayers are on wing. I send out protection and warmth to you and your babies. Life is to short to live in fear, and to long to live without true love. Find safety and serenity.

~Storm Chaser

[faeriedust]

I will definately try that too. I am so tired, I have not slept in days. Trying to figure out the best way to do this.

[faeriedust]

question, my husband may ty to use my faith against me in divoce court. is there any chance i could loose my kids because i am wiccan?

[Duo]

Wiccan or not, verbal abuse is wrong. I think you have a much better chance of getting custody if you can prove he has been abusive to you and your children.
As for love... I think you can do better than someone who needs to knock his wife down every conversation. Take me for example! No, I don't mean literally. I'm quite sure there are more guys out there like me that are HUMBLED by recieving the love of a female rather than threatened.
I could be wrong, though.

[StormChaser]

Wicca is a government recognized religion. An earth based faith.
WitchVox people know a lot about this stuff.. check out their site, get more info. It really depends on how you have raised your kids and what type of wicca you practice.. for the most part, stuff like that will get tossed out the window.

Prior to divorce obviously comes restraining order, this should keep your kids with you.

Look up everything you can online.. don't miss a smidge. You are on the right track. Counter every angle.

~Storm

[Da Witch]

Originally posted by faeriedust
question, my husband may ty to use my faith against me in divoce court. is there any chance i could loose my kids because i am wiccan?

Seeing as Wicca is now a recognized religion..Not a chance in hell! And if the judge does try that shit....sue, sue anyone you can even connect with the verdict.

[Da Witch]

http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_rel.htm

http://srd.yahoo.com/goo/Is+Wicca+a+recognized+Religion/2/*http://members.nbci.com/WINELEAGUE/wflm.htm

http://srd.yahoo.com/goo/Is+Wicca+a+recognized+Religion/3/*http://journey1.org/freedom/memorandum.htm

http://srd.yahoo.com/goo/Is+Wicca+a+recognized+Religion/6/*http://www.bloomington.in.us/~pen/boilertext2.html

those are just a few out of the 2760 links I found on yahoo under:
Is Wicca a Recognized Religion

[StormChaser]

Totally!

[faeriedust]

cool, i don't ant to loose my children, not that he would get them.
that would definately send my daughter over the edge for me to get a divorce only to find out she couldn't be with me.

[Lavender]

Did you get a chance to call today? Oooo! Hope I don't sound like I'm nagging here. :p

[faeriedust]

your not. I called some lawyers in my area, and they all need money up front, which is a problem for me. I did get a lead on some low income housing in my area. I am going in to fill out an app.. on monday.:) He (my husband) called me and said that e aren't going to be able to throw my baby girl her birthday party:(
due to his check not being big enough. so he says, bet he gets whatever he wants. anyways.:mad:

[faeriedust]

i tried legal aid but in order for them to help me get a divorce, he has to be beating me or the girls......... go figure

[StormChaser]

What a crock.
Psychological abuse can be, and usually is a hundred times worse than physical abuse.

Call them back and ask if you are supposed to wait until he starts leaving welts.

~Storm

[faeriedust]

thats exactly what they said......... there must be proven physical abuse.

[faeriedust]

i just put a post in magik and rituials......... could someone maybe look at it if you have time. i was gonna put it here but was afaid it was the wrong place.

[faeriedust]

we went shopping for my baby girls party last night. i got so upset, my husband picked out her gifts, we didn't get much because we don't have alot of money, which i understand. what i don't understand is that i have been trying to shop for her presents a little at a time for a month now and he kept saying no, that we have plenty of time and guess what??????? time has run out and spending was very limited.:( poor emily

[Duo]

Oooooh... Some people.
Take what money you can, go to the nearest bar, and hire a couple big biker dudes to lay him out. Maybe that'll knock some sense into him.

[faeriedust]

the sad thing Duo, is that i know more people that i can count on my fingers and toes who would do it for free, all i have to do is say the word...........

[Angelwulfe]

i don't really have anything to say that hasn't been said before i just want you to know i hold you in my prayers. if you ever just need someone to talk and vent to feel free to e-mail or pm me whenever. this will all work out for the best in the end.
brightest blessings light and love,
Anglewulfe

[Duo]

If I was 50lbs heavier (muscle, of course), I'd do it for ya too =)

[faeriedust]

thanks duo;)

[Lavender]

How's everything today?

[faeriedust]

i feel like i am living with aa stranger. too quiet. thanks for asking.

[Lavender]

Heh! Think of it as a good thing. :D

[Kharyn]

Faeriedust,

As a survivor of domestic abuse I urge you to contact a domestic violence organization in your area as soon as possible. They may be able to get you into a shelter or know of resources you can us to get out. look in the yellow pages of your phone book under domestic violence or call your local united way(they can give you numbers to call.) You can also get an order of protection. Most of the time they are only good for documentation but it helps if you need it for court.

As to whether you will find someone else I can only tell you of my experience and the experience of may other survivors. Many of us are now in very satisfying relationships with healthy men. Our children are being raised by dads that can show love and don't abuse. There is life after abuse and it is glorious. I understand your fear and it is a major step to leave the abuse.

But, there are resources out there waiting for you. There may be a waiting list for a shelter but they can tell you what to do while you wait. One other note. I always believed my abuse wasn't that bad. Because I didn't have injuries that put me in the hospital I believed I would be turned away from the shelters and others who could help me. I was wrong and I wish I had utilized the resources available. It would have made things much simpler.

Blessings,
Kharyn

[StormChaser]

Write to me sometime, let me know the ins and outs of how its all going. If you need an ear or a shoulder or any help i can give you just ask.

~Storm Chaser

[faeriedust]

thank you stormchaser, i intend on doing that!!!!!!!!;)

[StormChaser]

*smiles* *hug*

[Raynewitch]

I realise you need help Faerie and I spoke to you about my depression in the other post, but I thnk I need to be a little harsh here...you keep blaming yourself for your Daughter trying to kill herself...its this man who is doing that....HE is the one who will end up with her causing more self harm...you risk your daughters life everyday you are not with him....talk to her....see if she can do anything for you.

One more thing Honeychile....dont say you dont have friends....what are we here for?!

Take care of your babies Fae, they will love you a damn sight longer than some man you dont need :)

Im SO glad you are getting the help you need by the way...it makes me proud you are discoving that.

Rayne

[faeriedust]

i wentt to the dept. of human services yesteday and they wil let me know what they can do in a few days. meanwhile I asked my husband if he would go to family counciling and his answer was "he would think about it". he doesn't think he needs counciling, that its my daughter, and if she would just quit screwing up everything would be fine. go figure. as far as the comment about friends that i made....... i think oof you guys and gals as my best friends!!!!! i just ment friends i could actually see.

[Xois]

I am very happy that you are making decisions to take care of yourself

I will remember you tonight in my samhain ritual! :D

All the best
Xois

[Kristin Ann]

Faeriedust, you're doing the right thing, :). I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, stay strong, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann
* previously Wiccan Maeve

[faeriedust]

if i am doing the right thing then why is it so hard????

[Danustouch]

Doing the right think is rarely easy, faery. IMO, the reason why, is that when we get onto the other side of allllll of our difficulties, the hardship we went through, makes us appreciate where we are when we come out, all the more. You will reach the end of all these difficulties, and you will come out stronger, and happier. Then you will look back on all the difficulties you had in getting there, and breathe a deep sigh of relief, and contentment. Blessings to you!

[Da Witch]

Originally posted by Danustouch
Doing the right think is rarely easy, faery. IMO, the reason why, is that when we get onto the other side of allllll of our difficulties, the hardship we went through, makes us appreciate where we are when we come out, all the more. You will reach the end of all these difficulties, and you will come out stronger, and happier. Then you will look back on all the difficulties you had in getting there, and breathe a deep sigh of relief, and contentment. Blessings to you!

I agree with Danu.......................the right thing is almost never the easy thing but when you look back years from now you'll be glad that you did it and more than likely you'll wonder why in the H3ll you didn't do it sooner. You are better than how he makes you feel and let me tell you, there is someone out there who will treat you and your children the way you should be treated. It may not happen right away but there will come a day. I know from experience. Luckily at the time I didn't have my daughter. But there was a man who embrassed both my child and I. He treats us like we are made out of gold. There is a man out there just like him reserved for you and yours.

[Lavender]

As the others have said, doing the right thing is never easy. I'm so glad to hear you're taking such steps. Don't forget we're all behind you here. I'll keep sending you and your family positive energy.

May the Goddess bless you and keep you in her arms.

[Old Witch]

This is just to let you know I'm lending moral support. Everyone is .giving good advice. Still, Love, Strength and Courage from our family. :elf:

[Kristin Ann]

Just like the others have said: just because it is the right thing to do that doesn't mean it will be the easy thing to do. Usually it's quite the opposite of that as you are discovering.

Remember to stay strong, remind yourself as to why you're doing this (for you and for your kids). I'm keeping you in my thoughts for sure, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[Sequoia]

Originally posted by faeriedust
if i am doing the right thing then why is it so hard????

Hey faeriedust. . . . like everyone's been saying, it's usually the right things that are the hardest to do. But we'll all be here for you. *hugs* stick with it.

[faeriedust]

thank you so much for your support. i just wish i could up and go.. it would be much easier than having to do it slowly. he starts being "nice" and trys to make me think i am over reacting.

[Myst]

You are not overreacting. People who make others feel they're overreacting everytime they have an emotion drive me batty - every emotion and feeling you have is valid. Always. If he really loved you your feelings would be most important no matter whether he agreed with them or not.

I know its hard for you, but we're all here for you, and we all send our brightest blessings that you get through this.

[Danustouch]

Faeri, that is a ploy. He is just playing on your feelings of low self esteem when he tries to make you feel that you are overreacting. Don't fall for it. Go with your instincts. ALWAYS. Brightest blessings, and we are here for you!

Btw...you can't be overreacting, because your daughter was recently so upset, that she was almost suicidal. You are NEVER overreacting when you listen to your daughters plea for help and understanding. And if HE is the one causing the problems for your daughter, well...then you've gotta move on. That is not overreacting. Tha'ts being a good mom, and a strong woman!

Bright Blessings.

[Lavender]

*nods head* Yup! I check this thread constantly to see how you're doing. In the time I've been here, I've come to care about the people here very much. I wish, lots of time, that I was able to reach through my screen & give those who need it, a great big hug!

[faeriedust]

i asked my husband if he would go to family counciling and he said he would "think" about it. it hurt my feelings so bad. if the situation was reversed, i would do anything to save my marriage, and not have to think about it. i guess i am still looking for some hope even though i definately know i am not gonna find it. :(

[Raynewitch]

If you dont have hope then neither will your family....just try and get out Faerie thats the best thing you can do...

Rayne

[faeriedust]

this whole situation is getting to be to much to handle..

[Danustouch]

Don't let that attitude prevail, faeri. That's what your husband would like you to believe. You must believe that you are strong enough to deal with this. You ARE strong enough to deal with it. We have faith in you.

[faeriedust]

i am loosing faith in myself fast.i don't think i can handle anymore of his crap.

[Kristin Ann]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Faerie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}, be strong, for you and your children. You remain in my thoughts for strength and courage, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[Danustouch]

We're all here for you. We all believe in you. We have faith in you! DONT GIVE UP. You know you can't give up...you will lose your daughter, either by having her rebel, having her turn away from you in anger, or any one of a thousand other methods she'll use in her anger at you for staying with him. You've GOT to do it. For HER and for you! Remember...this isn't only about you. It's about your kids. Keep that at the forefront of your mind.

[faeriedust]

i know today was a really bad day. awful day.

[faeriedust]

i really hope today will be better. i went to see my mom yesterday, and tell her about everything, haven't seen her in a while. he kept doing everything in his power to make me come home so he could go out with his friends. he had the girls. he goes out the second i come home and comes home hours later wasted.. the whole day was just awful. my night ended up being much better thanks to mw.. i can't say i don't have friends thats for sure!!!! now today is a new day.... Goddess please give me the strenght to get throoough it.

[Da Witch]

The only one who power to make your day either good or bad is yourself. Is your mother willing to let you and the children stay with her until you can get a place of your own????

[Kristin Ann]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Faerie}}}}}}}}}, I'm sorry you had such a rough day yesterday, but you're right, today is a new day, :). I'm happy to hear that you got the chance to see your mother, I hope she's being as supportive as she can right now for you, :). Good point Da Witch, :). Faerie, would your mom let you and your kids stay with her? I continue to keep you in my thoughts of hope and strengthe dear, stay strong, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[faeriedust]

she lives in a retirement community, you have to be 60 to live there and can't have no one live with you:(

[Euphoria]

faerie hunny ... i'm sure if you explained the situation to the company that runs the community they would let u stay just for a wee while .......... and DONT GIVE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING !!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE TOUGHER THAN THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you ever need support then we are all here ... please keep us updated on what is happening


Brightest Blessings

Charysma

Be All You Can Be And May Bast Bless You As I Do

[Kristin Ann]

It was a good idea while it lasted but don't let that get in your way. Don't ever forget how special you are, nor how strong you really are, :). I'm thinking of ya, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann


Originally posted by faeriedust
she lives in a retirement community, you have to be 60 to live there and can't have no one live with you:(

[gunner]

i came to this thread a little late but i endorse everything the others have said to you as strongly as i can! you are not and never were the "little helpless nothing" this "man" would like to make you think you are. he has no "right" given by any gods to do this to you and your children. you do have a right to respect from someone who claims to "love" you, (and if he abuses you, verbally or physically he lies when he claims to "love" you.) i've seen what's happening to you before, it happened to my own daughter, two years with an abusive (censored) kept far from family and friends, abused verbally and physically, kept broke and scared and pregnant. she finally made the break and when she did there was a roof and a bed waiting at home for both her and her daughter, that was 6 years ago. this past july 4th she married a guy who loves and cherishes her as a woman deserves. getting out of this will be likely the hardest thing you have ever done and it will continue to be hard for a long time after you do break free but you need to do it for yourself and your daughter. given his evident attitude towards women there is a strong possibility that he may decide that as she becomes a young woman he will start to look at her as "available" too and neither she nor you need that happening. you need to get yourself and the kids out of there at all cost before it gets any worse, and it surely will, abuse like this not only does not stop it escalates. do what you must and do not look back, your friends here will try to help all they can. good luck and go for the life you deserve, it is not this one of abuse, that was never meant to be your portion.

[faeriedust]

i wish it was as easy as everyone makes it sound. if i get out of this i will NEVER have a relationship with another man as long as i live. :wah:

[faeriedust]

well, i have started packing but still don't know where i am going. now i understand why people fee the need to give there children up for adoption to give them a better life.

[Kristin Ann]

{{{{{{{{{{{Faerie}}}}}}}}} stay strong, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[faeriedust]

he lied to me about spousial support. i found this on a site about tenn. divorce laws.ALIMONY/MAINTENANCE/SPOUSAL SUPPORT: Spousal support may take the form of lump sum, periodic, or rehabilitative support. Tennessee favors rehabilitative support; however, if this is not feasible, the court may grant long-term alimony, until the death or remarriage of the supported spouse. Spousal support may be awarded to either spouse, based on a consideration of the following: (1) the value of any separate property and the value of the spouses share of any marital property; (2) whether the spouse seeking alimony is the custodian of a child whose circumstances make it appropriate for that spouse not to seek outside employment; (3) the need for sufficient education and training to enable the spouse to find appropriate employment; (4) the standard of living during the marriage; (5) the duration of the marriage; (6) the comparative financial resources of the spouses, including their comparative earning abilities in the labor market and any retirement, pension, or profit-sharing benefits; (7) the needs and obligations of each spouse; (8) the tangible and intangible contributions of each spouse to the marriage, including services rendered in homemaking, child care, and contributions to the education, earning capacity, and career building of the other spouse; (9) the relative education and training of the spouses and the opportunity of each party to secure education and training; (10) the age of the spouses; (11) the physical and mental condition of the spouse; (12) the tax consequences to each spouse; (13) the usual occupation of the spouses during the marriage; (14) the vocational skills and employability of the spouse seeking alimony; (15) the conduct of the spouses during the marriage; and (16) any other factor the court deems just and equitable. The court may require that spousal support payments be made through the clerk of the court. Spousal support payments may include expenses of job training and education. [Tennessee Code Annotated; Volume 6A, Title 36, Section 36-5-101].

[Lavender]

faeriedust, I asked the Goddess for a card for you. Something to give you inpiration and encouragement. I drew 7 of wands. The wands are fire batons being juggled in the air. It's talking about the big picture...overall outlook. You're trying to keep all areas of your life balance & it's getting hard. (We know that :) ) Don't think too far ahead. Like juggling, take each wand as it comes down. If you think ahead too far, you will get discourage so do it small steps. Focus on the present. This card is also talking about love and respect for yourself. Give yourself the praise & credit for what you've done. You have encouragements of friend behind you (yup! look here at MW!).

[flar7]

on the spousal support research. Dont forget to check with DHS they can help you find free legal help, and a lawyer is great with just about everything else...work, housing, childcare. And the lawyer keeps track of that stuff to bill the spouse!

Check for shelters, you qualify, dont let em tell you you dont.
you are in an abusive relationship, and feel that your children may be in danger. (well? couldnt they be?) interpretation and presentation is key with these types. I' m not saying boo hoo them, just make them help thats what they are there for.

I will keep up the prayers and well wishes. There are so many of us on your side that the energy just has to go your way.

[gunner]

of course he lied to you about alimony/spousal support, his game is to keep you under control to gratify his tiny, shabby little ego. i don't believe there is a state in the country that does not make some provision for a wife when a marriage ends. do not believe anything he tells you about your rights or alleged lack of them. and listen to the advice of flar and the others, you are not the only woman here that has been through this, you've found yourself a bunch of sisters (and we brothers too) to stand behind you. by the way, likely you won't have access to a computer after you leave him, check in at the public library, there may be a computer there you can use to keep in touch here so your friends can know how you are doing. everyone here will be praying for you in their own ways i'm certain. i surely will just as friends prayed for my daughter when she was in your situation.

[faeriedust]

MERRY MEET,
HOW IS EVERYONE? HE LEFT US WENT BACK HOME WITH HIS MOM. LEFT US NO MONEY AND WE HAVE TO BE OUT OF OUR HOUSE IN 3 DAYS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO. EVERYWHERE I HAVE BEEN TO GET ASSISTANCE HAS TURNED ME DOWN BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PHYSICALLY ABUSE US. GO FIGURE

[Lavender]

Do you rent or own the house? If you rent, I'm pretty sure they have to give you notice. Certainly not just 3 days!! Check with a local women's agency about that. Also, if you own, he can't just turn you and the kids out. He left...that's considered abandonment. Check about that too. There's always options...it's just a matter of finding them. What about your mom? Can you stay with her for a while?

Stay strong!

[Euphoria]

she cant saty with her mom cause she lives in a retirement but i would be interesrted in the rent/own thing .. wildchild has a point

[Old Witch]

:( I wish I could think of something that would help quickly. I just took time out to light a candle and say a prayer to the Wawalak for you... All I can say is Love, Strength, and Courage!

Old Witch

[Kristin Ann]

{{{{{{{{{{{Faerie}}}}}}}}}}}, omg!

Your husband is an awful person, I'm sorry to say.

How is it possible that you have to be out of the house in three days? Do you rent or own? If you rent the landlord is required by law to give you thirty days notice. And if you own, you certainly don't have to move out, is that something your husband told you? I'd really research the whole three days thing.

Don't give up, keep looking for assistance, I know there has to be someone out there willing to help you. Please stay strong Faerie, for you and your children, you can do this. We're all behind you, :).

Please feel free to contact me any time, I'm here and willing to let you vent to me or cry on my shoulder, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin

PS - Keep your chin up dear and try to smile even though it's hard.


Originally posted by faeriedust
MERRY MEET,
HOW IS EVERYONE? HE LEFT US WENT BACK HOME WITH HIS MOM. LEFT US NO MONEY AND WE HAVE TO BE OUT OF OUR HOUSE IN 3 DAYS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO. EVERYWHERE I HAVE BEEN TO GET ASSISTANCE HAS TURNED ME DOWN BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PHYSICALLY ABUSE US. GO FIGURE

[Danustouch]

Faeri, most states have a fair rent commission. Check into that. Most places are supposed to give you at least 30 days notice before evicting you. And..you could contact an advocate, through the housing authority. If you bring it to court, the landlord cannot evict you until a decision is reached. By then, hopefully, you'd find another place. Don't give up. Keep hounding welfare, etc. They'll find you a place!

[Danustouch]

And, since you are legally married, I'd check into the law concerning abandonment, as well. Since some of the kids are his. He can be held accountable for leaving them in that position.

[Illuminatus]

For the love of Goddess, don't tell us your problems, call a LAWYER. Yes, even the ones you see on late night TV commercials. They'll give you sound legal advice for free, and they will work for you on commission alone, which means they only get paid if they can get money out of your situation.

[Lavender]

That's a good suggestion from Illuminatus. Some divorce lawyers work based on a percentage of your settlement so they don't take anything up front.

[Danustouch]

Yep...I agree. Btw..faeri...I don't thin Illuminatus meant that you shouldn't feel free to come here and talk your problems over any time you need some listening ears. We're all here for you. I think he just meant that you need to talk to a lawyer, too. We can only help so much honey. Follow those leads. Call every single resource you can think of...the red cross, the salvation army, they all have emergency funds available, for people in your circumstances. It won't be much, but it might tide you over for a little while. Also, hop on the phone TOMORROW and call social services, DHS, Welfare, and ask about energy assistance, rent assistance, foodstamps...anything and EVERYTHING you could possibly apply for. Those organizations are there to help. And each state has one. You'll get through this.

[faeriedust]

the only reason i "bothered anyone with my problems was because everyone was wanting me to keep them updated.i have gotten a lawyer and have applied for aid and everything else. i am sorry for taking up everyones time. i was under the impression that if you didn't want to participate in a post then you didn't. if anyone still wants me to keep them updated just pm me. to anyone that i didn't bother thank you for all your support. you gave me strenght to do what i thought i could never do. i will never forget your kindness and will be here for anyone who needs someone to talk to.

[Danustouch]

Faeri....keep those updates coming..RIGHT HERE. Most of us are eager to see your progress, and you give hope, as you battle, to others in similar situations!!!!!

We love you hon.

[Old Witch]

Fairie, pay no attn. to Illuminatus(except about the lawyer). I hope he didn't mean the comments the way they sounded. The rest of us are very concerned about you and your family and are willing to lend our shoulders anytime you need them.

Love, Strength, and Courage
Old Witch

[Lavender]

Any updates on the housing situation yet? :sunny: thoughts to you!

[StormChaser]

Hey huney. Don't you dare stop updating. I couldn't sleep soundly not knowing how you're doing at LEAST on a weekly basis. I'm happier that the updates and the questions are more frequent than that. It lets us all know that you aren't giving up, and are seeking change.

"As you go through life you'll see, there is so much that we,
don't understand.
And the only thing we know, is things don't always go,
the way we planned.
But you'll see every day that we'll never turn away,
when it seems all your dreams come undone.
We will stand by your side filled with hope and filled with pride,
we are more than we are...
We are One.

(Aside)
If theres so much i must be,
can i still just be me
the way i am?
Can I trust in my own heart?
Or am I just one part of some big plan?
(End Aside)

Even those who are gone, are with us as we go on.
Your journey has only begun.
Tears of pain tears of joy
One thing nothing can destroy, is our Pride
Deep inside we are one.

We are one you and I,
We are like the earth and sky,
One family under the sun.
All the wisdom to lead, all the courage that you need.
You will find when you see..

We are One."

We are One from the Lion King 2. Disney.

Sometimes even sequels have good lyrics that can be life altering.

Sarah..
Who is without a doubt, Proud of you.
Love, Laughter and Strength to you and yours!

[Kristin Ann]

{{{{{{{{{{{Faerie}}}}}}}}}}}, don't feel like you need to stop posting. A lot of us here care and feel for you and your situation, :). You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[gunner]

edited by original poster

[flar7]

post something here soon, so we dont worry. :ack:

[SpikesPet5150]

Yes, you don't want to see a group of MW people worried! We tend to over react and stuff. :)

Please keep us posted, hon... we love you very much!!
~Bree

[flar7]

we do!!!!! :boing:

[faeriedust]

i have a home!!!!!!!!!! tim ended vup giving me 600.00 to move on. i found a place and everything is looking up. its right next door to my work.just wantedto let you know i love yall very much. you are really helping me cope.

[Lavender]

I am SOOO happy!!! FaerieDust, big hugs to you!!!! :) :) :) :)

:sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:

[StormChaser]

Thats wonderful sweets. I hope everything looks brighter and better!

*Giant Hugs*

[Yvonne Belisle]

that is the greatest news

[Danustouch]

Yay!!!!!!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy for you!

[Old Witch]

I was so worried.This is the best news. Keep us posted on how things are going. Love, Courage,and Happiness!
Old Witch

[flar7]

:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:
:boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing::boing:

[Kristin Ann]

*hugs* for {{{{{{{{{Faerie}}}}}}}}}}. Congratulations! What wonderful news. I knew things would starting looking better if you kept at it, woohoo! I'm elated for you, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[MammaStar]

YAY


:heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :loveduv: :loveduv: :loveduv: :loveduv: :loveduv: :loveduv: :hearteyes :hearteyes :hearteyes :hearteyes :hearteyes :hearteyes

[Lavender]

FaerieDust, how's everything going? :wave:

[MagickHLHgurl]

this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay late you acctually started this on my birthday.....I dont think your stupid....my mother went through the samething and about 4 years ago she seperated from my father then filed for divorce 2 months later i believe....my mom stayed with my father till i was 13...it was horrible...i remember begging her to divrce my father when i was younger so none of us would have to deal with his BS any longer....it got really bad before my mother decided to divorce him....if your house is really in that bad of shape you should do what is best...i know its scary thinking about raising four kids....with my mom it was only two but i was attending a catholic highschool(yes it was my choice...i didn discover Paganism till i was in my sopmore year in public school) nd she only made about 14-16000 a year....it was hard and she ended up moving and now im living with my dad who has changed impecably yet he still has som of his old habits that tendto ause me to fight wit him....but everythings ok now....if you need to talk feel more then welcome to send me a private message or even an email at MagickHLHguRL@aol.com

[MagickHLHgurl]

Ok now that i've read the whole thread and am up to date...im sooooooohappy for you!!!!!!! even though things may get hard from ime to time you have to keep hope alive....my mom did and now she's the happiest ive seen her....true i dont live with her but thats cause of a bunch of miunderstandings....but son i'll be out of this place and on my own and everything will be great! as it will for you cogadulations, sweetie!

[faeriedust]

greetings all,
just an update to let everyone know we are doing much much better. we have a place close to my work. my husband and i are civil to each other. my girls are much better. hopefully i will get a computer soon. i miss you guys!!!!
brightest blessings,
faeriedust

[Old Witch]

:D Glad to hear from you. Keep us updated as well as you can. Bright Blessings and love from my family to yours. Old Witch.

[flar7]

Had to outdo Old Witch with the "Very" part. LOL

I am happy that things are going well. Keep us in touch when you can. :boing: <- He cant wait to hear from you!!

[MagickHLHgurl]

Im so happy to know everything is going well!!!!!!!!! god lucka nd congradulations!!!!!!!!!!!:boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :smooch: :smooch: :smooch: :smooch: :smooch: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[faeriedust]

hey everyone!!! just wanted to say hi!!!!!!!!!:wave: :wave: :wave: i miss talking to you guys and girls!!!!!! talk to you soon.:boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing:

[Lavender]

Heh! I just sent you a PM to say hi. Hope things are going well?:)

[Kristin Ann]

Hi Faeriedust, :D. Thanks for keeping us updated, :). I'm so glad that things are beginning to go up hill for you and your children again. You should be very proud of yourself for being so strong, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[SpikesPet5150]

I agree with Kristin Ann.. you should be very very proud of yourself! :) I know I'm very proud of you.
~Bree

[gunner]

good to hear from you again and glad things are working for you. as the others said keep in touch as best you can, we do care.
"gunner"

[Old Witch]

Hi, Fairiedust. Glad to hear from you. Lots of love. Old Witch

[flar7]

I am gonna hold my breath until you post again. (this will help you to post again, heh heh)

here goes....*Deep Deep Breath*

mmm..mmm mmm mmmmmmm



:boing::smooch:-(we're holding our breath too!)

[faeriedust]

hello to all... i am doing okay. things are better????? i don't know....../ i am still alive

[Kristin Ann]

Hi {{{{{FaerieDust}}}}}}, continue to stay strong. You're in my thoughts, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[faeriedust]

oh yeah........ breathe flar breathe!!!!!!!! lol;) :D ;)

[flar7]

pant, pant, pant, pant......whew! Thanks Faeriedust! Glad to hear from you again. Stay well and think good thoughts!

We are still burning down our houses with candles and keeping our neighbors up with prayers. Stay in touch!(I know you will)




:boing::smooch:-bouncer is doing cpr on flar, and smooch is doing the mouth to mouth!

[MagickHLHgurl]

m so very happy things are going well.....and im realy happy to hear that there is civil behaviour!

[faeriedust]

hey!!! how is everyone? its been a month and i am still seperated!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!! i am doing okay, was worried about christmas for my girls, but my job is providing their whole christmas from food to presents. i am so thankful.
i miss you guys and will have a computer after christmas.
brightest blessings always!!!!!!!!!

[StormChaser]

*Giant Hugs*

I'm happy your doing so well. HAZAH FOR YOU!!!!

Love, Laughter, and Light,
to you and your girls!

~Storm

[flar7]

we await word of thy presence oh mighty Faeriedust!!

[Kristin Ann]

Hi Faeriedust, :). I'm so proud of you, we all are. Oh wow, that's definitely wonderful news. You're lucky to work with such wonderful people. We miss you too and can't wait for you to be visiting regularly again, :).

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[Old Witch]

HOORAY for Fairiedust. You've done yourself proud. Hugs and kisses and Merry Christmas and Happy Yule!!!:D

[Apex8]

I am truly sorry to hear about the abuse(cause thats what it is) that you are going through. I firmly believe that there is someone else out there that will give you the love and respect you deserve. There is someone for every one and this guy no mater how much you love him is not the one. For your sake and your kids sake, you should leave him no matter how hard, or scary it is. Raising your four children by your self is far better than with a negative energy like that, as long as they have a loving mother!!

[Lavender]

Faeriedust! Great to hear from you! I'm glad things are looking up for you & your kids. Don't worry, we'll still be here whenever you can check in. Take care & have a great holidays!

[MammaStar]

Great to hear from you! I'm so happy things are working out for you. that's wonderful about you job helping out with the kids for Christmas. What wonderful people they are.

Keep in touch! :heartthro :heartthro

[MagickHLHgurl]

Hey Faeriedust!!!! i so happy to hear that your doing well and your hristmas is taken care of for your kids! Keep being strong

[Danustouch]

Faeridust We are SOOOOOOO proud of you!!!!! I am so happy to hear that you are doing better!!!!!

Have a wonderful holiday!!!!!

[faeriedust]

hello everyone!!!!! i have a computer!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!! does anyone know of a free internet service?????

[SpikesPet5150]

Theres a few out there... why don't you try NetZero? I think that's the one I hear most good things about. :) I'm glad you have a computer! Now you can update us more often.
~Bree

[Kristin Ann]

Congratulations Faeriedust, :). I'm sooooooooo happy for you.

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[Angelwulfe]

fearie dust i'm sooo glad to hear things are looking up for you.

[monark0208]

WOW!!! i am glad i read thru the thread before posting.
i would have joined in witha chorus of "say goodbye".

i am soo glad to hear that you are doing okay.
(meaning the girls are happier) just remember to take it as it comes one day at a time, and DO NOT let him fool you into thinking he has changed!!! (and believe me he will, they all do
my ex changed/swore it will never happen again 3 times)




Monark
fool me once, shame on you
fool me twice, shame on me

[faeriedust]

i found out this morning that my husband has a two yr old son... we have been married four yrs.... this was so unexpected and i don't know how to handle it. i am devistated. i don't know what to do or say. :( i can't stop crying.

[MagickHLHgurl]

Oh sweetie, i dont know what to say! That's horrible...but youu can get through this jus as you have everything we're all pullin for you!

[Danustouch]

Faeridust...AIM me at Danustouch, if you need to talk.
What is your AIM handle?

[flar7]

I know it hurts to find out you were betrayed in marriage on top
of everything else. Try to find the positive in this, you are away
and free from him.

Dont put yourself down for not knowing what was happening,
it is a waste of time, and besides, people who do things like that
are very good at fooling or lieing to people.

(((HUGS))) your pal flar!

[Kristin Ann]

{{{{{{{{Faeriedust}}}}}}}}}, I can only imagine what a hard blow this was to you. Keep doing what you've been doing, stay strong, put you and your children first as you have been. *tons of hugs*.

I'm working today, but will make sure I'm online later this evening. Feel free to email or instant message me. I'm here for you, we all are. *another ton of hugs*.

Love & light always,
Kristin Ann

[Old Witch]

My Goddess. Fairiedust , don't under estimate yourself. To get through what you've been through.............you've got a lot of strength. Love and hugs, Old Witch

[faeriedust]

thank you all for your kind words