Why do I do stupid things?

[Sage Rainsong]

Okay guys I have been feeling a little guilty lately. You see I just gradutated college and a lot of my friends are moving away. I feel really bad because I am kind of avoiding them. One of my really good friends whom I love dearly called me from texas and I avoided her calls twice now. Also one of my other good friends is moving to Seattle and I have been trying to pull away. I can't think about it because I am afraid of it being too painful. I was never that great at making friends in the first place. Part of me just wants to keep going and start the next phase of my life. Thanks for listening guys.

[Nighthawk]

Look deeply into your heart, and the answer is found. You do not like the pain of loss, so you force a loss. It woeks, but it is a more painful way to do it. I went through this many years ago.. I wish I would have kept contact with my friends

[BlueMoon13]

:awwman: Nighthawk's right. You will move on, because we have to, but try no to lose touch. Good friends are hard to come by. {{{{{{hug}}}}}

[Faeawyn]

Friends are a precious thing. And friends who have been with your for years are even more precious. I have let too many friends slip away in my past. I do everything I can to keep the bonds of friendship strong now....and it's paid off over and over again.
If you let them slip away....you'll regret it. Stay in touch....share each others lives...your marriages, children, divorces, struggles. Your life will be richer for it. :hugz:

[semi]

Everyone does stupid things. We're human. But I don't think what you describe is stupid. Some friends aren't meant to stay forever and people drift apart. It's a normal part of life and growth. The pain that sometimes comes from this seperation is also a part of life that has to be accepted. My opinion, anyway. I hug you.

Now "stupid", that's when you try to run through a door, but miss the handle and just slam face-first into the door. Several times in one day. That's stupid. But I wouldn't know anything about that. I have to go now.

[ravenmyst]

I have done that my whole life, if they are meant to stay your friends they will be there when you are ready

[AuroraSilvermist]

Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that you're avoiding loss--sometimes, like Semi said, friends do just drift apart. Only you know for sure which is happening.

I can relate to drifting away from friends, though. It's not stupid or awful; it's just life. I had a friend that I've known for about 8 years now. For the past year or so I've been avoiding her--not returning her phone calls, not answering when I see that it's her on caller ID. For a while, I couldn't figure out why I was doing this, but eventually I realized that the reason I didn't want to talk to her was because we had taken very different paths in life and we now had such different outlooks (she's very materialistic and I'm not, for example) that we just didn't have much to talk ABOUT. Our friendship was more of a habit than anything.

Now, I admit I probably should have been brave and just told her outright that I felt we were too different now to continue enjoying our friendship, but I'm not that brave, and I figured after a while she'd just give up. If she continues calling, I'm going to have to summon the courage to talk to her.

But either way, a change of heart doesn't make you stupid--it means you're growing. But if you really do feel that you're just trying to avoid dealing with change and loss, give yourself some time, and then reach out and make a connection with your friends again.

Hugs! :hugz:

[fire_and_moonlight]

pray to the Goddess, or if u have a special god/ess that you feel connected to, and ask them for advice. Good luck and Blessed Be!

[Shadowsong]

Oh yeah... one of my problems too. Really, if they mean a lot then keep in touch as best as you can; if they call then call them back ASAP so you don't have time to think twice about it. I've just leanred recently how awesome friends can be, and there's not much else on this earth more precious than a few really great friends by your seide! :) Blessed be!