Disciplining a Toddler?

[Amethyst Rose]

I'm at the end of my rope. Absolutely nothing I try to do to discipline my son works. I have tried yelling, reasoning/talking, time outs, spankings....nothing works! I always explain what he did wrong, or why he can't do it, but he doesn't listen. I try timeouts but he thinks it's a game, I've tried spankings and he cries for all of 5 seconds and otherwise doesn't care.

Does anyone have any suggestions at all? I've read all these threads where people say that if the parent just "such and suchs" then their kids will listen. Well, I've tried it all, folks....what can I do?

BTW, my son is 20 months, and doesn't talk much (he has 13 words), but I think he understands most everything.

[Yvonne Belisle]

You can try a chart with maybe five dots and for each half day he behaves you put a star on the dot. Tell him when all the dots have stars you will give him something. Choose something he likes a lot like a special outing in the park. He might be too young but it is worth a try. I also used to put mine in his carseat in the corner and tell him when he is ready to behave to let me know and I will come and get him but I don't want to be near a naughty boy I want to be near my good boy so he has to sit there and find him inside himself. It usually worked when he was tiny.

[Amethyst Rose]

Hmm.... yeah, I'm not sure if he would understand your first idea yet, though it's an interesting idea. I actually have to be careful about awarding him for good behavior though. If I even say "thank you" to him because he stopped doing something, he'll repeat the behavior again just so he can get praise when he stops.
I have a chair that I can strap into that I can put him in the corner with.... maybe I'll give that a try. Thanks :)

[bladeraven]

Hmm.... yeah, I'm not sure if he would understand your first idea yet, though it's an interesting idea. I actually have to be careful about awarding him for good behavior though. If I even say "thank you" to him because he stopped doing something, he'll repeat the behavior again just so he can get praise when he stops.
I have a chair that I can strap into that I can put him in the corner with.... maybe I'll give that a try. Thanks :)


That's one thing.....another thing is when you get mad at him......literally stare at him face to face..not when your yelling 8O...but when you are telling him a firm no....sometimes that work..though huddling in a corner, whimpering and crying does too....

It's really difficult because they are at that testing stage so it's a challenge to get them to understand why using your lipstick as a marker is a no no

[Amethyst Rose]

Yeah, I've done the mad face thing, and the "look at me", and making him look at my face when I'm telling him no.... it really does nothing.

[bladeraven]

Yeah, I've done the mad face thing, and the "look at me", and making him look at my face when I'm telling him no.... it really does nothing.


Sounds like you're ready for the huddle in the corner whimpering and crying.....Sounds like my grasshopper...I've gone through 5 lipsticks this month and every method of discipline won't stop him...........

Plus...with boys.......*falling to the floor* it's a nightmare trying to discipline them...keep your voice lower pitch as possible and keep firm...it's hard *HUGS* I'm so sorry you're having to go through this...I remember reading somewhere that a toddler's hormones is literally like a woman going through her "phase" sometimes they honestly can't control their emotions since they are still developing control over them

[Tzhebee]

I'm having the same problem with my son (he'll be two tomorrow). I've read that this is the age where they start showing their independance and pushing boundries (oh boy does he push!)...and the key to getting them to stop is to respond to the same action in the same way every time. For instance, if he throws a fit and you spank him, you need to spank him each time. Because if you spank him once, then next time he does it you put him in time out, he gets confused. Basically he thinks to himself "I got a spanking, I got time out, what happens if I do it again?" Whereas the theory is that if you punish him the same way for the same thing, they will learn what to expect and not do it anymore.

Who knows if that really works...but that's what I've been told/read. Good luck, I definately know what you are going through! :hugz:

[Amethyst Rose]

Yeah, I can believe that. In the last week or so it's like he has absolutely no tollerance. The second he can't do something with a toy (say, it gets stuck), or something, he gets screaming mad. I keep having to tell him to calm down.

The discipline issue we keep having problems with is that he keeps climbing on the entertaintment center and playing with the wires on the subwoofer for the speakers. I've learned to choose my battles (like I've given off trying to keep the lights turned off), but he's already broken one set of speakers and two computer power cables, so I'm at my limit. :)

[bladeraven]

Yeah, I can believe that. In the last week or so it's like he has absolutely no tollerance. The second he can't do something with a toy (say, it gets stuck), or something, he gets screaming mad. I keep having to tell him to calm down.

The discipline issue we keep having problems with is that he keeps climbing on the entertaintment center and playing with the wires on the subwoofer for the speakers. I've learned to choose my battles (like I've given off trying to keep the lights turned off), but he's already broken one set of speakers and two computer power cables, so I'm at my limit. :)

You sure you don't have my child??

Try waking up every 30 minutes to him REPEATEDLY scattering the dvd's and xbox games......Momma needs SLEEP :rollingla :bangyourh

Climbing......yes..the joy........I have to hide the Fruit Gushers and Graham crackers because he raids the pantry at night while all is quiet.......

I need to try that repeat spanking though repeat :bangyourh works too

[Amethyst Rose]

the key to getting them to stop is to respond to the same action in the same way every time. For instance, if he throws a fit and you spank him, you need to spank him each time. Because if you spank him once, then next time he does it you put him in time out, he gets confused. Basically he thinks to himself "I got a spanking, I got time out, what happens if I do it again?" Whereas the theory is that if you punish him the same way for the same thing, they will learn what to expect and not do it anymore.



Well, that does make sense and it's something I'll really have to take into consideration. I know that I've been so frustrated that one thing doesn't work that I try something else, thinking that the first one didn't work, so it made no sense to try it again. This is really helpful. Thanks. :)

[Amethyst Rose]

Try waking up every 30 minutes to him REPEATEDLY scattering the dvd's and xbox games......


Oh, gods, I've soooo been there. We ended up putting all of our dvds and games in another room because he wouldn't leave them alone. Not only did he scatter them all over the place, but he'd take them out of the case to play with them, wrecking the cd! Luckily, he's still in a crib and can't open doors yet, so I don't have to worry about what he's doing at night. :)

[bladeraven]

Oh, gods, I've soooo been there. We ended up putting all of our dvds and games in another room because he wouldn't leave them alone. Not only did he scatter them all over the place, but he'd take them out of the case to play with them, wrecking the cd! Luckily, he's still in a crib and can't open doors yet, so I don't have to worry about what he's doing at night. :)

LOL :rollingla

I feel your pain.......what's hard is that you can't really tell them no..they just look at you and then later do it again......I think another problem with disciplining a toddler is that they really are not at the stage to completely understand "No" except on their terms...like when you are trying to get them to walk down the sidewalk or they grab for the candybar in the grocery store and tell YOU "NO" when you try to get it away from them...... :rollingla

[Amethyst Rose]

Well, I just tried putting him in his chair in the corner. He couldn't have cared less. Sigh...... how on earth will I survive for another 16 years!

Oh, and does anyone know how long you're supposed to make a timeout be? I've heard that it should be 1 minute for every one year of age....and that just seems a little low for me...

[Chesna]

Well, I just tried putting him in his chair in the corner. He couldn't have cared less. Sigh...... how on earth will I survive for another 16 years!

Oh, and does anyone know how long you're supposed to make a timeout be? I've heard that it should be 1 minute for every one year of age....and that just seems a little low for me...

I think that is low for a time out as well.. so I have made it for as long as it takes my daughnter to calm down. usually when she stops crying. sometimes its a few minutes.. some times its like 10 minutes. I ususally give a warning, like if you don't do so and so by 3 then you need to go to the time out couch.You may have to hold him there, or stand near by. I understand what your going thru. I have a 3 year old who thinks that the world answers to her!!! I am ready to send her off to boarding school, any ideas where??!!

Chesna

[bladeraven]

*twitching* all this is reminding me about trying to potty train my child

[Amethyst Rose]

I think that is low for a time out as well.. so I have made it for as long as it takes my daughnter to calm down. usually when she stops crying. sometimes its a few minutes.. some times its like 10 minutes. I ususally give a warning, like if you don't do so and so by 3 then you need to go to the time out couch.You may have to hold him there, or stand near by.

Yeah, when he has a freak out and won't stop crying then he goes to bed until he stops crying. Unfortunately, when I put him on the couch for time out all he does is smile at me, and starts to play. So I strapped him into a chair instead....he just sat in the corner singing to himself..... doesn't phase him at all.

I could put him in his crib after every offence, for a little while, but I'm worried that by the time we get all the way upstairs, he'll have forgotten that he did anything wrong. Any thoughts on that?

[bladeraven]

Yeah, when he has a freak out and won't stop crying then he goes to bed until he stops crying. Unfortunately, when I put him on the couch for time out all he does is smile at me, and starts to play. So I strapped him into a chair instead....he just sat in the corner singing to himself..... doesn't phase him at all.

I could put him in his crib after every offence, for a little while, but I'm worried that by the time we get all the way upstairs, he'll have forgotten that he did anything wrong. Any thoughts on that?


I'm convince they forget by the time the act is done...when you bring him to the crib...reaffirm to him why he has done it...eventually he will catch on...biggest thing is consistency.......another thing is that they will have mood swings so they maybe happy as lark than just go off without warning

[Seren_]

My ex-landlord (a psychologist) always said "No attention is bad attention". Basically, yelling at him won't work because it gets him attention even if it's negative attention (in that you're not exactly having fun bonding with bunny rabbits or something). So don't give him any attention; by making you yell at him, or even spank him, he's effectively controlling your behaviour towards him, you're not controlling his. If it's tantrums that are the problem, then you could always try heading one off when you recognise the signs by trying to distract him - point at the ceiling or out the window and ask if he saw the blue bird or something. It always worked a treat for me.

Some psychologists, when they do timeouts, advocate telling the child firmly to stop their bad behaviour, if they don't, then ask them in a firmer voice (without raising it) and warn them of a timeout if they don't stop misbehaving, and then time them out if they continue to misbehave.

One method is sitting the child on your lap with their head held quite firmly in the crook of your neck/shoulder. Turn their head into your body, and turn your head away from them (this helps avoid any real injury if they throw a huge tantrum and try headbutting or biting). You can use your other hand to restrict the movement of their legs, seeing as they'll inevitably struggle. If they do struggle, scream, or anything like that, then you just ignore them. If they say they need to blow their nose or something, don't move a muscle or say anything until the timeout has finished - responding to them in anyway means they're controlling your behaviour again. If they start singing, then ignore it; they'll try to engage you and turn it into mother and son cuddles.

Once you're done, then you can tell them why they were timed out and clean them up etc. Generally the advice is one minute for every year of their life. The point of a timeout isn't to punish them, so much as it's to regain control over their behaviour, so provided they stop doing whatever it was they weren't supposed to do, then you could view it as a success. It may seem a short time, but in theory when you apply it consistently, it should become more effective. The key is to not engage with them on any level, no matter what method you use.

The advantage with this method is that you're preventing them from engaging in the bad behaviour, and by restricting their movements, you're controlling them. Also, they can't treat the timeout as another opportunity to play or misbehave like they would if they get timed out to a step or corner of the room. And you can do it in public if necessary.

[MorningDove030202]

I'm a big fan of the

1 (repeat comand).....2 (repeat comand and put open palm in air showing him what happens when I get to 3).......3 (swat him on but and make him do comand)..... thing.....

I started it when he was realy too young to even realize that 1,2 and 3 are numbers, he just knew that when I got to 3 I would swat him once on the but. I started that around 2, so now that he's 3 years old he know exactly what it means, and usualy when I get to 2 he's decided to cooperate on his own. I don't yell, but I do use a "I mean buisness" tone of voice. I hate yelling....and spanking, so this way I don't have to do much of either......:) I've even got complements on how well the techinique works at the dr's office.

Dove

[Amethyst Rose]

Right now, I basically do the three warning thing. It doesn't do any good to yell at him, I know, so I use the firm voice, like you said... one warning, second warning with mention of consequence, and then the third time apply the consequence. The one thing is has lead to is that sometimes the second he sees me start to come towards him, he scrambles out of the entertainment center.

I think I'm a little torn in that situation on what I should do. Do I continue to hand out the punishment as I intended, or leave him be because he stopped (because he knew what was coming)?. I want him to just not do it at all, not to just stop cuz he knows what's coming.

This is a very interesting method for a time out.... I know that other methods of ignoring or not paying any attention to my son have absolutely no effect. He's quite happy if I ignore him -- happy pulling all the cables out of my electronics!

But I'll give it a try....I certainly feel like I've tried everything else. Thanks :)

[Ben Trismegistus]

The most important tool at your disposal when disciplining a toddler is distraction.

Most of the time, the single best thing you can do is to remove him from the situation and occupy him with something else. Save the time-outs for the serious offenses, and yes, 1-2 minutes is plenty at his age.

I'd recommend not using the crib for time-out, because then he'll learn to associate bedtime with punishment.

[bladeraven]

Well, that does make sense and it's something I'll really have to take into consideration. I know that I've been so frustrated that one thing doesn't work that I try something else, thinking that the first one didn't work, so it made no sense to try it again. This is really helpful. Thanks. :)


You could get him a job at Dell..he'll enjoy working around all those computer parts :crylaugh:

[Valkie]

At 20 months, his attention is limited. Same with his concept of doing something wrong. If you punish him for doing something wrong, the most he'll connect with it at this point in time is that he shouldn't do it when mommy's around. :lol:

The thing that I've always done with my boys at that age is this. Tell them 'no' once. Don't yell, because even yelling is good attention at this age *look at the funny faces that mommy makes when I do that*. When/if he doesn't listen to the no, physically remove him from what he is doing and bring him somewhere else or give him something else to do.

My little guy is about 30 months right now, and he's just getting to the age where I'm begining to need to physically punish him for something. His big thing is grabbing hands full of dog food and throwing it across the room so he can laugh at the puppies as they chase it around. The distraction isn't working anymore because he goes right back to doing it again. So now he gets a no and a quick slap of the hand. I usually looks at me like "what did you do that for?" No crying, but he stops.

[Ben Trismegistus]

One more thing. If there are things that you don't want him to get into, rig it up so that he can't get into them. Problem solved.

[bladeraven]

At 20 months, his attention is limited. Same with his concept of doing something wrong. If you punish him for doing something wrong, the most he'll connect with it at this point in time is that he shouldn't do it when mommy's around. :lol:

My little guy is about 30 months right now, and he's just getting to the age where I'm begining to need to physically punish him for something. His big thing is grabbing hands full of dog food and throwing it across the room so he can laugh at the puppies as they chase it around. The distraction isn't working anymore because he goes right back to doing it again. So now he gets a no and a quick slap of the hand. I usually looks at me like "what did you do that for?" No crying, but he stops.

Then he does it again?? lol...I've heard to remove the distraction but then the problem is you have to teach them to respect not only when they are at home but when they are at someone else's house.......

Repition is probrably the key and just perseverance.....lil Grasshopper waits till the middle of night and he turning on the tv, the computer, pulling out the dvd's and xbox's games......... :collapse: :uhhhhh:

He's fine during the day..but I'm present too..........Just have to keep telling him no.....I would suggest buying crayons but that's just asking for trouble too.........lol........ :bigredblu

I think one thing everyone can agree is just consistancy in what you do......kids need structure though it seems a lot of times like they don't listen but they do.......eventually it will click...........I think.....lol

[Rhianna813]

Hey I think my little guy is the same age as yours and he IS a whirlwind of activity which includes moving all furniture around the living room (we have wood floors), climbing on anything he can including our woodstove, opening dresser drawers, trying to dump any garbage cans, pulling on wires, taking the metal grates off the floor vents, and throwing/hitting me/you/pets with assorted items. He also wants anything you are touching like a book, magazine, fork, or mouse at the computer. All of this is done with a pure glee on his face!

Here is what we have done......

Pretty much keep him to the living room only, by using child gates, which luckily he has not tried to climb over yet!!!!!!!! In the living room everything is on high shelves, cords have been tacked down all over the perimeter of floor, furniture is placed not for ease or comfort but for freakin sanity LOL and to block climbing. Bungee cords keep him from getting into the drawer in the TV unit that holds the CDs, small chains and hooks have been added to the TV unit so we can hold the doors open while watching some TV and he can stop his favorite game of slamming them open and closed. We have also nailed a small piece of wood in front of the power buttons on the TV and only use the remote now because his second fave thing was turning the TV or TV/VCR button on and off. Bungee cords keep him from opening the woodstove. We also use "L" brackets to nail down speakers and shelves that he otherwise pushes around the room to get the "goodies' behind them

Ok, now that I know we look like freaks to you all, I will admit that doing all this saves us from having to yell, swear and beg for a parental time each evening. While I wish we did not have to make so many changes and that he could just have free range of the whole house I just don't think we have the patience to keep him or our belongings safe most times LOL His bedroom is the other room that is toddlerproofed but he still finds things to get into while in there too. Getting more organization (our fault) to other rooms in the house is something I want to do this summer....but we'll see!

The other thing I notice is once he has found somthing "fun" like say throwing his toys back behind the TV unit and crying for me to get them.... if I redirect him to another activity and really get his attention with it he will forget about the old one. Sometimes this means taking him outside or inside or to another room completely. If I sit there and say NO or get mad he will get more excited and go for it 1000 more. But sometimes I have to measure how much energy I have to offer the situation. Yes, it takes a TON of energy to redirect him so many times, to get up remove him and entertain him... and sometimes I don't have that energy.

So I chose my battles. Ignoring some of this behaviour (like tossing his food on the floor from his highchair which is no safety issue) does nothing to egg him on so he really loses interest fast. And I try to absolutlely reinforce his positive behaviour and give him loads attention when he is being "good". So just during regular play I have practice holding my hand while walking through the house, handing me things when I ask, and generally following my instructions. There is less pressure because it's just play and not a "oh my god we need to do this now" situation. I also try to not yell because apparently this only trains kids to wait until they hear your voice go up high. I try to go right up to him, talk in a normal voice while removing him from the situation.

So I basically I think the early toddler years are insanely tough, especially if I have to leave our home! And it doesn't seem like anything I do now has an instant effect or worse no effect but like Bladeraven said it's all about being consistent and thinking of this as practicing for later. Also I have had to stop comparing my son to other kids. This is hard as I have sisters with kids who are older and I hate hearing about how their's never did such n such. But every kid different and mine is flatout amazing to me! At least the more I read posts from Mom's with kids (well mostly boys) who are like mine I know he is normal :-)

Rhianna

[Amethyst Rose]

One more thing. If there are things that you don't want him to get into, rig it up so that he can't get into them. Problem solved.

Yes, we did that when we moved all the dvds to another room. Unfortunately I can't think of any way to keep him out of the entertainment system..... the way it's set up is just really inconvenient.

[bladeraven]

Hey I think my little guy is the same age as yours and he IS a whirlwind of activity which includes moving all furniture around the living room (we have wood floors), climbing on anything he can including our woodstove, opening dresser drawers, trying to dump any garbage cans, pulling on wires, taking the metal grates off the floor vents, and throwing/hitting me/you/pets with assorted items. He also wants anything you are touching like a book, magazine, fork, or mouse at the computer. All of this is done with a pure glee on his face!




I got worn out reading your post.....LOL....how old is your lil guy?? Mine is 2 years and 7 months.........

It's not really a freaky thing you're doing but if anything a good if not safe idea....boys seem to be more active and adventerous as girls can be and I think doing what you do eliminates a lot of the screaming and yelling and swearing and oops...just taught them a new word today.......

I think what we're discovering is that we're in a rough stage of toddlerhood...because they are learnign their independence and who they are so unless we keep things consistant...they're going to find alt methods which defeats trying to discipline them in the first place........

[Ben Trismegistus]

Repition is probrably the key and just perseverance.....lil Grasshopper waits till the middle of night and he turning on the tv, the computer, pulling out the dvd's and xbox's games.........

Forgive me for an honest question. Why does your son have access to the TV, the computer, and the DVDs and games in the middle of the night?

[Ben Trismegistus]

Yes, we did that when we moved all the dvds to another room. Unfortunately I can't think of any way to keep him out of the entertainment system..... the way it's set up is just really inconvenient.

There are always options. Even if you tape all the cords together and then tape them to the back of the entertainment center or something.

[bladeraven]

he gets up in the middle of the night......we live in an apartment and the tv, computer and what you can call an entertainment center is well..right there.......and given that he has his own room....many a night do I hear the tv and computer come on so I have to play musical chairs to get him back to bed.

[Ben Trismegistus]

he gets up in the middle of the night......we live in an apartment and the tv, computer and what you can call an entertainment center is well..right there.......and given that he has his own room....many a night do I hear the tv and computer come on so I have to play musical chairs to get him back to bed.

If he's got his own room, why not shut him in at night, or put up a gate in the doorframe?

[Valkie]

Then he does it again?? lol...I've heard to remove the distraction but then the problem is you have to teach them to respect not only when they are at home but when they are at someone else's house.......

Repition is probrably the key and just perseverance.....lil Grasshopper waits till the middle of night and he turning on the tv, the computer, pulling out the dvd's and xbox's games......... :collapse: :uhhhhh:

He's fine during the day..but I'm present too..........Just have to keep telling him no.....I would suggest buying crayons but that's just asking for trouble too.........lol........ :bigredblu

I think one thing everyone can agree is just consistancy in what you do......kids need structure though it seems a lot of times like they don't listen but they do.......eventually it will click...........I think.....lol
:lol: It does sound funny that way doesn't it? I don't remove the distraction, I remove him from the thing he's not suppose to be getting into. The thing he was playing with stays right were he found it.

Repitition is the key to it. The rule about 'no throwing the dog food' doesn't change. Like with mine, if he wants to feed the dogs one handful at a time, that's fine, but he has to put the food in the dish... not throw it all over the house.

[bladeraven]

closing the door doesn't work.....he opens it and gates are a joke...he'll climb it....most nights he's fine but there are those moments

[Ben Trismegistus]

closing the door doesn't work.....he opens it and gates are a joke...he'll climb it....most nights he's fine but there are those moments

Can you lock the door? Sounds cruel but it's for his own safety.

[bladeraven]

:lol: It does sound funny that way doesn't it? I don't remove the distraction, I remove him from the thing he's not suppose to be getting into. The thing he was playing with stays right were he found it.

Repitition is the key to it. The rule about 'no throwing the dog food' doesn't change. Like with mine, if he wants to feed the dogs one handful at a time, that's fine, but he has to put the food in the dish... not throw it all over the house.

One thing I learned about bedtime was just teaching them to stay in bed by putting htem back to bed but not engaging them in talks or acknowledging so they can learn that nighttime is for sleep time and not let's climb Mt. Everest..........

It's really fascinating how you can see how a change of enviroment can affect a toddler's behaviour.......with my little grasshopper.....I think a lot of the reasons he is turning the tv on and the computer on is because he is use to waking up to me working late at night..so he thinks that is a "natural thing"

[bladeraven]

Can you lock the door? Sounds cruel but it's for his own safety.


Not really and I don't believe in locking the doors......a lot just comes from what I saw in forensic classes and just I'm not really comfortable with the idea.....I don't mind when he comes to bed at night during a bad thunderstorm so at least I can give him reassurance that there is "safety from the bad light" so to speak......plus he's learning to potty train too...so there been many times he's waken me up to show me what he has in his pull up...so I don't want to really deter him from that

[Amethyst Rose]

Alright Ben.... here's a pic our our setup.

You see in the far left corner is the subwoofer...beside it is the speaker (which he has knocked over numerous times).... the cabinet holds the cable box, XBox Media Center, PS2 (our dvd player) and the reciever. The screen hangs from hooks on the ceiling.

If you have any ideas to keep him out from behind the screen, then you're amazing. :)

[Rhianna813]

[QUOTE=bladeraven]I got worn out reading your post.....LOL....how old is your lil guy?? Mine is 2 years and 7 months.........
QUOTE]

Brendan is 19 months old. About one month younger then Amethyst's son :spinner: Part of the reason we have so many "nail it down" fixes around the house is because DH is the at home parent and well guys can be really good at fixing things! At first I thought it seemed extreme but now it's a life saver.

But I must add this.... sometimes I do fail to see that he has grown and developed. When I think back to things he was doing 3 months ago I realize he is doing them less and less now. It's just easy to forget to notice.

Rhianna

[Yvonne Belisle]

Locking a child into their room is considered child endangerment in most states. I believe it has to do with fire safety but I could be wrong. We just used a different car seat for time out than we did for going out so he knew if that seat came out he was in trouble. Ours figured out how to open those kid proof doorknob covers as well as climbed anything and everything.

[Ben Trismegistus]

If you have any ideas to keep him out from behind the screen, then you're amazing. :)

Tada! Check it out.

http://www.onestepahead.com/product/34185/298/117.html

http://www.onestepahead.com/images/product/detail_views_jpgs/6363_dv_1.jpg

[Amethyst Rose]

Alright, you are indeed amazing. Thanks, Ben! :)

[Yvonne Belisle]

Can I get that in six foot hights for doorways?

[Ben Trismegistus]

Can I get that in six foot hights for doorways?

Yes... they call them "doors". ;)

By the way, it was our pediatrician who recommended locking him in his room until we could get a wall-attached gate for the top of the stairs, since a pressure gate wouldn't be safe there. His other recommendation was leaving the door open and putting a solid pressure gate across the bottom half of the doorframe.

[misty]

Wow....a lot of these stories sound like my little guy. He just turned 2 on Sunday and boy, does he have a little attitude! When he gets mad he likes to throw his toys or knock his toys over. He LOVES to scream at the top of his lungs. His latest thing is throwing himself down, either backward or forward and hitting his head on the floor. He WAS slapping at me, but I put a stop to that very quickly, so now he slaps himself...he will slap his leg over and over when he gets mad. When he gets like that I usually tell him "No" in a firm voice and if he continues to throw a fit then I pick him up and hold him, sort of cradling him so he can't move very much and I talk softly to him and sometimes sing to him until he calms down.

[phoenix1010]

I was just getting ready to post the same question. I have a 19 month old boy who really gets his temper going. Over the last few days when he gets mad he kicks, hits, bites, and pinches. It doesn't lasts long but it shocks me a bit. I guess it is a "first time mom" thing, it kind of hurts my feelings.
Time-outs are suppose to last age in yrs plus one, so my son would get a 2-3 minute time out.
I have packed up anything of any value and put it in the attic. Our cds and dvds are in a closet. My son can open doors and even undo some locks so we put those hook and eyes at the top of certain doors.
I am going to try some of the tips from the other posters.

[mol]

20 months? Hehe. They do not listen very well for the most part. Even mine will do what you say....when you say it, but if you turn your back. BAM!

They are kids! They are going to learn by experimentation even if we don't like it. Our job is to try and keep them alive while they are doing it.

I can't give much help in the discipline area, but I can say it is pretty normal for a kid that age to be...a little wild.

[misty]

They are kids! They are going to learn by experimentation even if we don't like it. Our job is to try and keep them alive while they are doing it.

Isn't that the truth. And a full-time job it is!

It is pretty normal for a kid that age to be...a little wild.

Understatement :D

[Ben Trismegistus]

I can't give much help in the discipline area, but I can say it is pretty normal for a kid that age to be...a little wild.

Absolutely. Remove anything of value, and anything they can use to hurt themselves, and the rest is gravy. If he decides that it would be fun to color on his shirt with magic marker, why the heck not?

[MorningDove030202]

I had to put my dvd shelf up on top of my dresser to keep my son out of it. My TV is on a cabnet with lots of baby locks on the doors and drawers. He prety much stays out of it, but I'm very thankful my dvd player has a child lock on it, othewise he's be chainging the channel all the time.

Dove

[phoenix1010]

Remember if you stack things pretty high up against a wall to anchor it to the wall so it can't fall over on the munchkins. A 2 yr old was killed near where I live when the TV fell off of a dresser. Tall entertainment centers, shelves, etc can fall over when little ones try to climb on them. Also watch dressers; they can pull the draws out and try to climb them and tip over the whole dresser.
They sell anchoring devices and brackets in most hardware stores.
Just thought I would mention this here.

[Yvonne Belisle]

Yes... they call them "doors". ;)

By the way, it was our pediatrician who recommended locking him in his room until we could get a wall-attached gate for the top of the stairs, since a pressure gate wouldn't be safe there. His other recommendation was leaving the door open and putting a solid pressure gate across the bottom half of the doorframe.


Doors don't seem to work well with my teenagers. I was thinking with the gate I could just slide food in. lol

[phoenix1010]

Doors don't seem to work well with my teenagers. I was thinking with the gate I could just slide food in. lol


On one of the dog forums I post on, someone said it was ashame you couldn't crate train children!! LOL!!!

[Ben Trismegistus]

Doors don't seem to work well with my teenagers. I was thinking with the gate I could just slide food in. lol

Well, with teenagers there's really little you can do besides shock collars and tear gas.

[Ceres]

One mistake I have noticed parents making with toddlers is that when they tell to stop doing something, they wait to see if they will be obeyed. Toddlers relish nothing so much as a good challenge. It really helps if as you say, the tv isnt for touching, you get up, physiclally redirect them to something or take them out of the situation. When you wait to see if they will obey, it implies there is wiggle room. Redirection really works well if you precede it with the rule stated matter-of-factly so they know what the rule is, but also dont feel like there is a choice to disobey the rule. The repetition is helpful for toddlers as well. It may cause a fit, but not usually unless there was going to be a scene anyway. ;)

[Hærfest Leah]

I can say that we have tried what seems to be everything with Loralie, nothing works. And we refuse to lock her in her room like our neighbor did to their little girl. This girl just makes me want to get in the car and leave some days. I think now I'm so fed up with her actions that I just don't care anymore, if she throws a screaming fit I'm now just walking out the door into the back yard to get some quiet and she can kick and scream all she wants. And if she doesn't stop this new screaming at me thing she's going to start getting popped in the mouth for it.