HELP!! Potty training!!

[DixieWitch]

Ok, I've been going after this for a few months on and off. Tera will be 3 on Sept 19th and she is not potty trained yet!! I want her to be potty trained because I am tired of spending all that money on diapers, because I am sick of hearing from my mom about her not being potty trained, after my sister has her baby(she's due Dec 7th), I will be watching her baby and it's just time for her to be potty trained!! I've done all I can think to do: rewards for just sitting on the potty, rewards for the 2 times she did something. When she first wakes up in the morning or from a nap, I put on her the potty. And before she goes to bed for either, I do the same. Depending on how busy I am during the day with housework, I put her on the potty every 15-20 minutes. But she never does anything but play!!! She'll sing and move around and if there is something near the sink, she'll play with it. I used to have reward sticker on the wall. But she was too facsinated by them so I had to move them, even though she knows she can only get one when she uses the potty. I even had a picture on the wall from a box of pullups that has a picture of a girl around her age using the potty. Didn't work. The thing is is that she knows she's doing wrong by not using the potty, but it's like she's refusing to use it. And honestly, I don't know if I'm doing everything right. This is my first time potty training. I was in school when my son was potty trained, so I really wasn't there for that. So yeah, I am clueless!! Am I doing something wrong? I talked to a friend a couple months ago who has (almost)grown kids. She said maybe it would be best to just stop trying and let Tera do on her own. So I did and nothing happened! I've been going at this since we moved into the house--March. Does it usually take this long? Or am I going at it the wrong way?!! I never punish her or fuss at her when she uses the diaper. I do say "Big girls use the poppy(her word for potty). And you're a big girl." There have been a couple times when she goes to the potty on her own, but she didn't do anything.


Someone, please help me!!! I would love for her to be potty trained before her 3rd birthday!!

[Amethyst Rose]

I haven't done potty training, myself, but all I can think is that perhaps she just isn't ready yet. Average age for potty training is between 3 and 4 years, or so I've heard. Dr. Phil suggests that you have a huge party when she uses it....make a really big deal about it. The idea is to make it so she wants to do it again. Otherwise....I donno. Sorry. :)

[Darakash]

My daughter seemed to take forever too...she was over 3; I was nervous about it too, and got some (just a little) annoying remarks from people about it, but--anyway, what happened with us, was that I ran out of diapers and I had no way to get any for several hours....so, I told her, "we are out of diapers, if you have to pee, you have to go on the potty." To my utter shock, she did! I never bought another pack of diapers or pullups again. She has never had an accident or wet the bed....I know she was "late" with it, but, as a result of sort of doing it on her own, it seems, it stuck. I understand your frustration, and wanting it to happen NOW, but honestly, the person who told you to let your daughter do it on her own was probably right....maybe you should try just not buying anymore diapers...even if you have to clean up a mess or two, leaving her no other choice may make her choose the potty?

[Valkie]

With my boys it was a "fed up with and and put my foot down" moment.

Told them, no more diapers, you're not a baby anymore. Bought "big boy" underwear and a pack of pull-ups for overnight.

For the first week they would run around the house half naked (they tried to use the underwear as a diaper... too much laundry) and they already knew that they weren't suppose to 'go' without something on. If there was an accident, I had them help me clean it up.

After a while, they got tired of being naked and would accept having the underwear on.

[DixieWitch]

hmm maybe I should try that....no more diapers, even though I just bought some Friday(Elmo is her favorite!!) So I should try this: tell her there are no more diapers and she has to use the poppy, that she isn't a baby anymore. (i.e. we don't use diapers, we use pullups. She just calls them diapers) Keep her in her big girl panties all day and tell her she has to use the poppy. Hide the pullups I have and use them only at night and if we go somewhere until she is fully potty trained. I don't mind cleaning up any mess she might make, because I know it's part of the process. Thanks for the advice so far!!!

[Semele]

I want her to be potty trained because I am tired of spending all that money on diapers, because I am sick of hearing from my mom about her not being potty trained, after my sister has her baby(she's due Dec 7th), I will be watching her baby and it's just time for her to be potty trained!!

Sounds like you are under a bit of stress yourself. Little ones can pick up on that and take longer to transition through things. I have dealt with this first hand.

I've done all I can think to do: rewards for just sitting on the potty, rewards for the 2 times she did something.

That might actually be confusing to her if she gets a reward no matter what.

When she first wakes up in the morning or from a nap, I put on her the potty. And before she goes to bed for either, I do the same. Depending on how busy I am during the day with housework, I put her on the potty every 15-20 minutes.

Those are good ideas. One of the things I do with Trinity is to take her to the bathroom with me frequently and let her actually see me peeing as vulgar as that may sound, much the same way Mol taught Trey. It worked well to get the idea introduced.

[LacyRoze]

My daughter is 3 and with her, I just started putting underwear on her and told her "no more diapers". It took a few accidents before she understood I meant what I had said. Now we still use diapers at night. We tried the underwear at night but she sleeps so soundly that she doesn't wake in time. It is now routine that as soon as she wakes we go straight to the potty, the diaper comes off and underwear go on for the day....

[Lola]

We also tried the pull-ups, but my son used them just like a diaper even though we told him they were "big-boy undies", but he knew better. So we went the Valkie route and after a few days of being nakkie and watching his wee-wee, he figured it out. (he learned it about 3 weeks before his 3rd birthday, we had been trying since his 2nd birthday)

I know it's frustrating...good luck.

[Darakash]

Those are good ideas. One of the things I do with Trinity is to take her to the bathroom with me frequently and let her actually see me peeing as vulgar as that may sound, much the same way Mol taught Trey. It worked well to get the idea introduced.

I dont think it sounds vulgar at all, and I did it too! The only thing about that was getting her to stop coming in now that she knows all about the whole process, privacy is nice! LOL

[DixieWitch]

Those are good ideas. One of the things I do with Trinity is to take her to the bathroom with me frequently and let her actually see me peeing as vulgar as that may sound, much the same way Mol taught Trey. It worked well to get the idea introduced.
I let her come to the bathroom with me too. But she covers her eyes some of the times. And everytime, where it's her or I that has used the potty, I let her flush because it's what she wants to do.

[DixieWitch]

We also tried the pull-ups, but my son used them just like a diaper even though we told him they were "big-boy undies", but he knew better. So we went the Valkie route and after a few days of being nakkie and watching his wee-wee, he figured it out. (he learned it about 3 weeks before his 3rd birthday, we had been trying since his 2nd birthday)

I know it's frustrating...good luck.
Yeah but girls can't see as easily as boys where they are peeing from!! I've always heard that boys are somewhat easier to train than girls. I'm going to try some of the things I have heard here. She loves to be nekkid, so that should be a problem!!! And she's got plenty of big girl panties....my grandmother and mom have bought so many just to try to force her to potty train. Yes I say force because that what it seems they've been doing to me. I want to let Tera go on her own, but they keep pushing me. But at the same time, I want her potty trained too. But they want it done last month, I want it done before her 3rd birthday!!!! I'm tired of spending $20-$40 a month on diapers!!!! I think I'm going to try to get her that new stuff she's been freaking out over everytime she see the commercial--Kando or something like that. It's foaming soap and flushable wipes just for her!!!

[~Broken Lily~]

I was looking at baby books on Amazon the other day when I can across "Potty Training in One Week" by Gina Ford. It seemed to have great reviews. It may be worth buying and giving it a go.

[Lola]

In responce to the girl vs. boy thing, I'm sure you're right. I also have a book similar to the mentioned 'in a week' book, the thing is to feed your child a bunch of salty things so that they drink alot and sit in thae bathroom all day untill they learn. This concept seems great, I just didn't have enough patience to do it day after day with my son. Earlier a party was mentioned (via Dr. Phil), we also did that and it really worked. We had a potty song and dance (similar to the cha-cha) and would call his grandparents so they could praise him over the phone or if we went to a friends house mentioned "Yeah, and Oliver has gone potty 3 times by himself..." so they paised him as well and that really seemed to get the ball rolling...the nakkie thing just sealed the deal.
We tried treats, but he really took advantage of that, sitting on the potty every few minutes and just going a teeny bit.
In closing I think it all boils down to 'in their own time', and that is the (sometimes expensive and inconvenient) truth!
Again, good luck!

[Ceres]

What you are asking is how to get her to do something that for some reason she doesnt want to do. Since you have already tried a few things without result, I would say she is for some reason really opposed to it and may refuse no matter what you try, especially now she has dug her heels in over it. My advice, with three very strong willed kids of my own who regularly use a toilet (lol) would be to back off for at least a few weeks. Dont mention the potty at all. Leave it out in the bathroom, but do NOT try to talk her into using it by any means. If she mentions it, just sort of brush her off saying, " oh thats for later, when you are older" Then do the Valkie trick. Let her be naked a LOT. I hope you dont have rugs! It always takes longer with rugs......

When she goes (on the floor) dont get mad, dont try to talk her into the potty, just get her to help clean up WITHOUT COMMENT. After a few times, you might point out thats its easier to clean up if the pee or poop goes into the potty or toilet and that then it doesnt go on your legs so you wont need cleaning up as well as the floor. I dont agree with making a huge deal over when they finally use the potty, other then to congratulate them on growing up a bit more. I think making a big deal out of it invites regression when they are mad at you (especially with strong willed children lol).

[GwenOfTheHeathens]

My daughter was so easy to potty train, that is way I am paying the parenting piper with my son. Athena really wanted to go to school (thanks to Barney and living next to a school). I told her that she could not go to school til she gave up baby diapers. That was it, within 2 weeks she was potty trained and she got to go to school that fall. Now with my son, he doesn't care. It is all about control with him. He knows when he has to go and will tell you if he is poopy if you ask. But hey, we want him potty trained so that is all the reason for him to be defiant about it. He isn't going to be 3 for about 6 more months so I am not too worried about it. They are potty train when they are ready. Relax, keep trying, and let her lead the way.