A precious life lost this morning - Please read

[Madre De Scorpion]

I'm looking at my children this morning...

There is a family in my neighborhood that lost their two year old daughter this morning. She went in for heart surgery and never woke up. She was expected to survive the surgery with little to no complications and come home to her mom, dad and three sisters. The family is devastated as you can only imagine.

I'm at a loss. I never knew what that really meant until this morning. I have four kids of my own and the pain that I feel for this family is only what my imagination can allow me to feel. They however are going through the real thing. At this very moment they are living it. Their reality is the nightmare that all parents fear.

Please help me help them. I need suggestions as to what I can or should do as a neighbor, a friendly stranger who wants to reach out and do anything I can. I'm just at a loss...........

Even if you read this post and don't reply, please send your prayers.

[Aelfoak]

I'm sorry that young girl lost her life, today has been such a sad day alround

[misty]

oh my, that is terrible! I will be sure to send healing energies....now I want to go hug my baby boy and never let go!

[Flar's Freyja]

Something similar happened to my niece's baby, he was only a few weeks old. It's like losing them twice.

My prayers go up for the family.

[*Rain*]

It's so sad when such young lives are lost.

Maybe you could drop by a card or some flowers. It may not seem much, but it can be comforting to the family to know people are thinking of them.

[Nighthawk]

It is sad. A suggestion.. bring a nice salad and dinner over in a few days.. It will give them a chance to just relax and grieve... and not the hassle of cleaning too.

[ShadowcatX]

I"m so sorry to hear that. I have no idea of what to give them, flowers and the like just seem so inadequate. I do know they would appreciate some food the day of the funeral, so they won't have to worry about feeding everybody who comes, maybe that would help?

[Kailen]

Ouch...you could try to help them out with little things for a while..help look after the kids...do them a dinner...offer to babysit for them one night so the parents can go out by themselves, or have the kids over to yours to stay the night so they can have the night in alone....just go over every now an then to see how they are...personally I'd cook them a stir fry coz that's my specialty...perhaps invite them to dinner at yours in a few days? a bunch of flowers..a card...maybe take a card of condolences round the neighbourhood, get everyone to sign it, have a lil donation box...and figure out something to do for them with the donation money, a box of chocs, a meal out, depends on how much gets donated...

hope this helps...

~adds in~

offer to help with organisation of funeral+after funeral stuff...

try not to smother them though...

[Cassie]

It is difficult to suggest how you can help her. Just make it clear you are there for her whenever she needs to talk.
My brother died at age 3. I coped ok because being a child you tend to accept things more easily. It was much more difficult for my parents. My mother in particular was so frustrated as time went by because she desperately wanted and needed to talk about my brother--mainly just to remember him and celebrate what a wonderful boy he was;-- but other people were affraid to talk to her about him for fear of upsetting her. Maybe that is something to keep in mind.
Meanwhile my prayers and energy go out to the family.

[Malcolm]

Thats really sad. Those poor people...I can't imagine losing my daughter.

[evilslinkycat]

:hugz: thoughts and prayers for the family

[DragonsChest]

My heart grieves for this young angel. No words...no words.... :(

[BlueMoon13]

Yes, do bring food, in disposable containers with a package of heavy duty paper plates, plastic cups and utensils, no cleanup to worry about. Flowers are nice, but like my mom said when my dad died, you can't eat them. A fruit basket would be better if you want to send something. Check with whoever you have preparing it,and explain the situation. I once sent a basket to a family with kids after the death of a child, and the flower shop that put the basket together had cookies,crackers, that cheese that does'nt need to be refridgerated,etc.
If you want to collect donations, send it to them in a money order, so they can put it where it's most needed-toward funeral expenses, to help run the house why they take time off from work,etc.
If you're close to them, ask if they need something taken to the cleaners or the laundromat. I friend's brother died in a fire, and the young man did'nt have anything clean to wear to the funeral.
Good for you to think of them at this dark time :huddle:

[Lunadria]

I am so sorry :( Death is always so sad, but somehow when it's a child it seems so cruel. My thoughts are with her family.

[Madre De Scorpion]

Thank you so much for all the nice suggestions. Thanks all your input I have decided I should definately take food. My son mows lawns so he is going to keep up with their yard work for awhile so they won't have to worry about that. I am also going to go around the neighborhood collecting donations and I think I will get them a small flowering tree to plant in their yard in her name.
Any other creative thoughts or suggestions would be great. Thanks for all your prayers.

[MorganLeFey_83]

:hugz: First, let me express to you how sorry I am that you are feeling the loss of this young child so intesely. It is always hard to experience the death of a spirit so young. But try to remember that this child's life is not over! She has simply gone on to the next life waiting for her. She has much more to live for, just not in that body at this time. As the mourning neighbor, there really isn't much you can do at this time. Personally, I think it's too early to offer condolences. Probably at this time her parents are in a state of shock and just barely making it throught the process of planning her funeral and burial. Wait until the funeral to tell them how sorry you are for their loss. If you feel you simply must do something, send a casseroll over, or a dessert. Cooking at this time is probably the last thing on their minds. As for yourself, try to remember the child with the greatest of fondness and find comfort in your own babies. I hope this advice is helpful. :halohead:

[Gracecat]

Not to sound ungrateful, but from experience, the family is going to be overwhelmed with the common suggestions. When a child dies, everybody wants to help so they *will* be fed, and fed greatly for the next couple days.

The lawn service is a fantastic idea.

Personally, I'd suggest waiting two/three weeks and walking over to offer laundry services, or dishwashing. Because in a few days, when the shock wears off, or in a month, maybe two months... it's going to hit and nobody is going to feel like doing anything.

My daughter would have been three this Sunday. We lost her last September and after a week, everybody went to their homes and back to their lives. In hindsight, after going through my experience, I'd make a point of visiting later when they're left alone to deal with their grief. It'll help them to know they weren't forgotten.

[XanderAmon]

Oh dear. :hugz:

My heart goes out to that family. Hopefully those around them will care enough to offer what help they can... I'll keep them in my prayers.

[Etoile]

:hugz: Prayers and energy sent to the family.

[CryingEagle]

I'm looking at my children this morning...

There is a family in my neighborhood that lost their two year old daughter this morning. She went in for heart surgery and never woke up. She was expected to survive the surgery with little to no complications and come home to her mom, dad and three sisters. The family is devastated as you can only imagine.

I'm at a loss. I never knew what that really meant until this morning. I have four kids of my own and the pain that I feel for this family is only what my imagination can allow me to feel. They however are going through the real thing. At this very moment they are living it. Their reality is the nightmare that all parents fear.

Please help me help them. I need suggestions as to what I can or should do as a neighbor, a friendly stranger who wants to reach out and do anything I can. I'm just at a loss...........

Even if you read this post and don't reply, please send your prayers.

Oh how heartbreaking!
May God bless the little angel's family in this tragic time.
There is no greater pain that the loss of a child.
My heart and prayers are with this family at this time.
:sniffsnif :huddle: :flowers:

[Valkie]

I agree with Gracecat's suggestion of waiting a bit.

When my son went in for his heart surgery, I was just numb. He was born with a heart defect that was fixed when he was 3 days old. Everyone was commenting on how 'together' I was keeping it, and waiting for me to crack... I couldn't. It was like it wasn't real... or it was happening to someone else.

It's times like reading this post that I actually realize how close I was to loosing him.

People go on auto-pilot when something like this happens. The help will be a bigger help a little later down the road.

[gwendar]

:(I'm sorry I have no advice, but :hugz: for you and for her family.

[GalenaFaolan]

:hugz: and energy for the family. I can only imagine if it were one of my kids.

[MsFireHaven]

Healing energy sent to all.

[Teresa]

Be there for them.Cook a meal and take over if You are able to do so.Maybe organize things with other neighbors so that everyone isnt taking a meal over onthe same day.That way they wont have to worry about mundane things like cooking for a bit.You could offer to do things like laundry or vacumn etc.It is really up to You.Ask them if they need anything and pray, pray, pray for them.I will light a candle tonite ! :hugz: It is times like this unfortunatley that make us realize how blessed we are and what wonderful things we do have.:hugz: