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Thread: Regret

  1. #1
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    Regret

    I know it's trendy these days to say you have no regrets about life, but I still can't help regretting certain things from time to time. I was on thebus today and I overheard a bunch of ninth grade girls who were students at the art school I had wanted to go to since I was young. They were just talking about basically all the gay guys they knew, and all that. For some reason it just made me sad. When I was in grade 8 I had a lot of issues with depression and getting picked on by the kids in my elementary school. I hardly ever went to school and I barely passed, so I figured it was no use applying to go to the high school of the arts. I applied two years later to go in for grade 11, but I didn't get in, I was so devastated, I cried for the whole evening when I got the letter that said "thanks for applying, but you suck." (well, not in those words, of course). My friends who went to the art school talk about how wonderful it is, and the amazing people who go there. I'm really big on the arts, plus I've always had a really hard time finding people to be friends with. An art school where people are openly gay, and everyone is an artsy weirdo like me sounds like paradise. Instead, I go to the local Catholic school which is up my street, and it's hell (no pun intended). I just wish things had been different, and things actually worked out in a way in which I would actually be happy for once. Since things are crappy, I regret a lot. I know it does absolutely no good, but I can't help it.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by purplepanther View Post
    I know it's trendy these days to say you have no regrets about life
    OK, stop. Right there. WHO says it's 'trendy'? I've never heard such BS in my life.
    Panther, we ALL have regrets. It's a part of life. It's life, baby.

    but I still can't help regretting certain things from time to time.
    Yes...you can.

    When I was in grade 8 I had a lot of issues with depression and getting picked on by the kids in my elementary school.
    But you made it. YOU MADE IT. You didn't wind up shooting half school up, you didn't kill yourself, somehow, someway, you found the strength to get through it. :cheers:

    Since things are crappy, I regret a lot. I know it does absolutely no good, but I can't help it.
    There, there, love...
    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Goddess knows I should know that more than anyone by now.

    I've been led to believe that we create our reality for ourselves, by our thoughts and feelings, and our attitudes about our reality.
    How we initially react to it, will ultimitely create an outcome, that...reacts to the reaction.

    Think now...

    Is it possible...you just...might...be...setting up your own obstacles? Not that your trying to fail, but that by believing you couldn't do it, it sets up a chain reaction that puts up obstacles just when you think you CAN do it, for it contradicts what you felt deep down. You MUST change that attitude.

    Start believing in how TRULY gifted you are. Don't focus so much on how much you're going to do it if it kills you, because there's nothing there that is going to... except your own "perserverence" you've set yourself up against a self-induced obstacle.

    I've said this before, but I don't know if you just passed it by, or didn't see it.

    Are there any LGBT groups near you? In Toronto, which is NOTORIOUSLY gay friendly, there is bound to be.

    I know of a young gay man that just moved to Tononto from "WinterPeg" , in his early 20's, has a boyfriend, and I've known him for years. He calls me "Aunty". When we first met on a Pagan forum, he was a wreck.
    Now, he's got such a presence about him, it's amazing. I can try to hook you two up if you want, and maybe they can help you.
    It's a start. And a thought. You can PM me, and we can talk about it.
    I know of another 15 year old in London, straight, but with the same issues as you.
    And he's AMAZINGLY mature for his age. He's at a downpoint in his life right now too.

    Just letting you know there's someone there for you.

    Now chin up, 'K? PM me if you want...

    Love,
    ~SilverFeather~

  3. #3
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    I think most people have some regrets. I know i do - especially about school days! I got picked on a lot and so didn't really like school. Years later and being much older, when i hear the things bullies say to other kids i think if i had my time over again i wouldn't be as quiet as i was then, and i wouldn't take any shit like i don't now lol! It's hard at the time tho' and i could kick myself for not standing up for myself - another regret!

    The school you are talking about sounds great but hopefully you will have other, just as good opportunites in your life.

    Hope it works out for you x
    Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.


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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilverFeather View Post
    Is it possible...you just...might...be...setting up your own obstacles? Not that your trying to fail, but that by believing you couldn't do it, it sets up a chain reaction that puts up obstacles just when you think you CAN do it, for it contradicts what you felt deep down. You MUST change that attitude.

    Start believing in how TRULY gifted you are. Don't focus so much on how much you're going to do it if it kills you, because there's nothing there that is going to... except your own "perserverence" you've set yourself up against a self-induced obstacle.
    It's possible. I probably have a lot more faith in myself now versus then. When I was 13 and 14, I had absolutely no confidence in myself, and i figured nothing I do was good enough. Unfortunately that was the crucial time when I needed to go in the art school direction, which I didn't and 4 years later I'm still regretting it. If I was to audition again, I could go in there and show them what I'm made of, and I would probably get in, but I can't go back, it's a high school and I'm almost finished. Somehow I've almost managed to make it out of Catholic high school alive.

    I've said this before, but I don't know if you just passed it by, or didn't see it.

    Are there any LGBT groups near you? In Toronto, which is NOTORIOUSLY gay friendly, there is bound to be.
    Yes, apparently there is a whole bunch. I went to a few when I was 15, but later on with school and homework and everything, I just couldn't find the time to get downtown. It's like an hour subway ride, I live in the most remote suburbs in the far west of the city... getting downtown takes forever, going down on a school night is difficult.

    I keep checking the gay community centre websites, but nothing for youth seems to be up and running yet this season.
    Last edited by Arion; September 29th, 2006 at 07:26 PM.

  5. #5
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    Mourn the loss of that part fo the dream and then find your bliss where and however you can. Art is about self expression, so express yourself to please yourself.


    "There are more things in heaven and earth...than are dreamt of in your philosophy" ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet


    "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts."
    --Henry Brooks Adams 1838-1918--

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunita View Post
    I think most people have some regrets. I know i do - especially about school days! I got picked on a lot and so didn't really like school. Years later and being much older, when i hear the things bullies say to other kids i think if i had my time over again i wouldn't be as quiet as i was then, and i wouldn't take any shit like i don't now lol! It's hard at the time tho' and i could kick myself for not standing up for myself - another regret!

    The school you are talking about sounds great but hopefully you will have other, just as good opportunites in your life.

    Hope it works out for you x
    Yeah, I know the feeling of regretting not sticking up for yourself, and taking the shit people throw at you. It's awful.

    Thanks, I hope more opportunities present themselves too

  7. #7
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    You're so young, all is not lost. No where near it.

    What about an art college? Things are hard in highschool, but once you're free to make more of your own decisions you can choose your own path. Move to an area that is more open, take a career path that you enjoy and where you can be yourself.

    It will work out!

  8. #8
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    I was thinking the same thing, why not apply for art programs at colleges....

    Anyhow, regrets are normal for most of us. I regret certain things in my life, but realize that for whatever reason, I was meant to experience the difficult times. As much as I've hurt in the past and sometimes still hurt, I remind myself that without those lessons I wouldn't be who I am today. So, take everything in life as a learning experience, feel the pain, cry, scream, what have you, but always take a lesson back with you!


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    I think regrets are not only normal but essencial. Since we can't go backwards in time to change what it is that we regret, at the very least we can learn from our mistakes and not repeat them in the future. Take it as a learning experiance.
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  10. #10
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    I know how you feel about the art school part.... I am nowhere near what the art college here deems "good enough"... so I'm going to a community college and am enrolled in an art program, and they don't care how "good" i am as long as I do the work and try and all that crap. Besides, what is that quote from the movie Frida.... something about creating art not because you are good at it, but because you cannot live without doing so; it is what makes you happy, therefor you do it. I will probably never sell enough paintings to make a living off it as my dream is. Will that stop me from painting? Nothing can stop me from painting. Please; keep creating art! If not for anyone in the world to look at it, then just for yourself; because it makes you feel good.
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