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Thread: Altar location advice.

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Olean, NY
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    45
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    3,302
    This might not be what you want to hear, but (especially as you're still a minor) I might suggest having a frank and honest discussion with your parents instead of hiding an altar. It actually took me a period of several months to "come out of the closet" to my dad, having discussions here and there about spiritual topics, and focusing on what we had in common, rather than the differences. As a result of my efforts, when I finally did drop the bomb that I was practicing, it was much more warmly received than I had feared, and in fact, my dad gave me a beautiful blue glass bowl for my altar, and had one of his clients make me an absolutely beautiful ceramic altar pentacle.

    If you're really present and honest, coming out sometimes isn't as hard as you think.

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Minnesota
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    I'm happy that worked out for you, but your father I can assure you is nothing like mine. Mine would not be so fine with it and talking religion/spirituality with him is an absolutely not for me. I know he wouldn't understand nor approve of my choices. Thank you though.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    144
    I put my altar in a cupboard because I have cats.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Minnesota
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    16
    That's cute! I have cats, but they're never in my room or anything, so I wouldn't have to worry about them crawling on it or knocking things down. =^^=

    After many thoughts on this and much appreciated advice from all of you, I think I know where I will put my alter. In my room, which is an attic, there are shelves in the sides of the walls. They're not very big, but I figure it wont matter for my alter. One out of four of them already has all of my small special things on it, so if I were to put cloth down, a few small trinkets, some candles, my incense, and whatever else I feel I would want on my alter, my parents nor anyone except those who know would think it was an alter. It would just look like a nice setup for decoration.

    I believe this will do for now until I can buy a small table or something when I am ready to have it more out in the open. I'm very excited to put it together. :]

    Again, thank you everyone for the advice. It is highly appreciated.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
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    25,571
    Quote Originally Posted by AromaticFey View Post
    That's cute! I have cats, but they're never in my room or anything, so I wouldn't have to worry about them crawling on it or knocking things down. =^^=

    After many thoughts on this and much appreciated advice from all of you, I think I know where I will put my alter. In my room, which is an attic, there are shelves in the sides of the walls. They're not very big, but I figure it wont matter for my alter. One out of four of them already has all of my small special things on it, so if I were to put cloth down, a few small trinkets, some candles, my incense, and whatever else I feel I would want on my alter, my parents nor anyone except those who know would think it was an alter. It would just look like a nice setup for decoration.

    I believe this will do for now until I can buy a small table or something when I am ready to have it more out in the open. I'm very excited to put it together. :]

    Again, thank you everyone for the advice. It is highly appreciated.
    I think a lot of people have fixed up a special space the way you're describing. I'd just remind you to be very careful with candles if there is a shelf above them.
    ____________
    If you make a customer happy, he'll tell 3 other people.
    If he's not happy, he'll tell 20 others.




  6. #26
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    May 2005
    Location
    Norman, Oklahoma.
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    286
    If you're living at home, and your parents don't agree with your faith, consider very carefully what sort of message you'd be sending them by doing it behind their back. DO NOT bring things that would hurt them (emotionally, and in their mind spiritually) into their home, don't sneak around and skulk.

    Faith is on the inside, and needs no outward expressions. Especially when your life is still dependent upon the good graces of other people.

  7. #27
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    Aug 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by EntwinedScylla View Post
    If you're living at home, and your parents don't agree with your faith, consider very carefully what sort of message you'd be sending them by doing it behind their back. DO NOT bring things that would hurt them (emotionally, and in their mind spiritually) into their home, don't sneak around and skulk.

    Faith is on the inside, and needs no outward expressions. Especially when your life is still dependent upon the good graces of other people.

    I disagree with you. I think if you believe in something, you should be able to express it any way you feel, inward and outward.

    With all do respect to you, how many teens my age do you feel go behind their parents back and do something they would disagree with? In my opinion, millions if not more. I have gone behind their back doing things far, far worse than believing in something that does no hard to me, nor anyone. If they were to find out of my beliefs, I highly doubt they'd do anything except be disappointed that I'm not of their faith, which in case they already are. They love me, and they would understand why I would keep it from them; Because I don't want to hurt them.

    Thank you for you input.

  8. #28
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    May 2005
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    Norman, Oklahoma.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AromaticFey View Post
    I disagree with you. I think if you believe in something, you should be able to express it any way you feel, inward and outward.
    You should be able to, in a perfect world. But our world is not that kind of perfect. It's got rough spots, flaws, jagged edges, and painful bits that really, well... suck. That's life.

    how many teens my age do you feel go behind their parents back and do something they would disagree with?
    Millions more than ought to. Do I believe people need to be under the authoritarian regime of their parents? No. But I believe they should respect them for the sacrifices that parents make. Mom/s and Dad/s keep the home, keep the roof over our heads, the food in our mouths and the clothes on our backs until we are able to do so on our own. That deserves respect and fealty, even when we disagree with their decisions.

    We owe it to our parents, even those of us who are adults (*raises hand*) to at least consider their feelings from time to time. I respect the home and hearth very much, which is why I will not set foot in the home of my uncle. As I am a witch, he would not want me there. He is also not allowed in my home. Similarly, I did not bring -anything- into my parent's home without their permission.

    A few years out on your own, or even a few particularly hard months will put a new form of clarity and a new complexion on your perceptions of your parents, trust me.

    When I was kicked out of my apartment by a nutjob room-mate I moved in with my fiancee's family. They're very ardently Christian, and a witch living in their home would've hurt them badly enough, so I had a friend hold my ritual tools and objects. The only thing I had with me in that home was my jewelry, clothing and a small locked box with a few of my most valuable crystals/gems and irreplaceable tools. That locked box stayed in my fiancee's closet in a backpack, and never came out for my entire stay. I felt horrible for disrespecting them by even having -that- there.

    Let's say I -had- taken it upon myself to set up an altar in that home. I would've risked my very important, special and sacred tools. Not only would I have disrespected the owners of the home, but I would've disrespected my faith and my tools by allowing them to be open to being broken, thrown away, or handled with malice.

    If you consider it too much of a burden on your personal freedom to respect your parents rules in their own home, please consider the above: Disrespecting your own faith, and your own belongings by leaving them open to the inevitable discovery and anger that follows.
    Last edited by EntwinedScylla; November 22nd, 2009 at 07:20 PM.

  9. #29
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    Aug 2008
    Location
    Minnesota
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    Yet again I still disagree with you. I find it arrogant and close minded to not allow people of different faith even into your home. I don't feel I'm disrespecting my parents by believing in what makes me happy, nor do I feel they would be angry if they did find out. You don't know me, nor my parents, and you have no idea how they would react nor what they will and will not tolerate in their home. Do not think I am not grateful to them, because I am more than ever.

    My brothers girlfriend lived with us for some time. She is Pagan, and my brother thought it wasn't totally right for her to show my her Tarot cards in their home. I disagree, because they were not doing any harm to anyone, nor was it her intent to disrespect them in any way. My parents can be extremely close-minded Christians, but they respect people as people no matter what they believe. I'm almost positive they know about her beliefs and I am more than positive they don't think any less of her nor are they mad that she brought it into their home.

    I'm sorry, but again, you don't know me or my family, and what you're saying isn't really relevant to me whatsoever. I mean no disrespect to you, my parents, or anyone for that matter, and I know what I should and should not do in my parents and MY home, and that's that.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Norman, Oklahoma.
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    286
    Quote Originally Posted by AromaticFey View Post
    You don't know me, nor my parents, and you have no idea how they would react nor what they will and will not tolerate in their home.
    No, but you do. And you said:

    The problem is, I have two die-hard Christian parents who would probably be a little freaked out if they saw such a thing (altar) in my room.
    By the way you're now phrasing things you can be out and open with your parents perfectly easily, yet your first post indicates the opposite (Your words, quoted above, brackets mine for clarity).

    I know what I should and should not do in my parents and MY home, and that's that.
    Then I'm doubly curious why you posted a thread asking for opinions that you did not require, and seem to not want?

    I'm trying to offer sound, and mature, advice. Advice that sets people up to be responsible stewards of something as important as the matters of spirit. You, yourself, said you're very new, and I think that a combination of youth and newness is making some of these very important concepts stand a bit beyond where you're willing to go right now.

    I wish you the best of luck, but I also wish that people weren't telling a minor to hide things from their parents.

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