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Thread: Altar location advice.

  1. #31
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    Aug 2008
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    Minnesota
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    Well, if that's what you think. Our opinions on the matter obviously differ. I'm sure it's not what you're going for, but your text just suggests that you feel you are superior to me, not equal and sure as hell not being helpful. I'm going to let my immature teenage mind take over for one post and just say I do not appreciate what you have said, because everyone else has been helpful when you have just caused me to become annoyed.

    Yes, I could be out and open with my parents. I choose not to be because I have enough to deal with in my life. Yeah, they still would probably be a bit concerned if they saw an alter, but that's why I was asking for advice.

    Please don't reply, for I feel this is nothing but a childish internet argument that neither will win.

  2. #32
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    Aug 2008
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    Washington
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    156
    Quote Originally Posted by AromaticFey View Post
    Well, if that's what you think. Our opinions on the matter obviously differ. I'm sure it's not what you're going for, but your text just suggests that you feel you are superior to me, not equal and sure as hell not being helpful. I'm going to let my immature teenage mind take over for one post and just say I do not appreciate what you have said, because everyone else has been helpful when you have just caused me to become annoyed.

    Yes, I could be out and open with my parents. I choose not to be because I have enough to deal with in my life. Yeah, they still would probably be a bit concerned if they saw an alter, but that's why I was asking for advice.

    Please don't reply, for I feel this is nothing but a childish internet argument that neither will win.

    My opinion on such things is, dont rock the boat. I dont see any problem with you keeping from your parents an altar. I know that some may disagree with my opinion on it, but lets deal with reality here, if you have your beliefs, and want to practice, but it is a private matter and you feel more comfortable there, then by all means do so.

    When I was hospitalized, the first doctor I had, to my horror, told my sister to remove all my books and tear apart my altar. I was angry beyond belief, also because I felt he and she had no right, to interfere with my sacred space. My altar consists of several buddhist and hindu statues, and you do NOT mess with someone's altar. When I got a new doctor shortly after, my books and altar was returned. But I was still sickened by the ignorance of the first doctor, cause he only caused me more trauma in the hospital. An altar, for myself, is something I vest my own energies into, and it was a disabling of all that.

    So while im not big on secrets, at the same time I can stand the nature of people's minds and lack of understanding. How THEY may view your altar is very different than how YOU view your altar, and its purpose, and your intent. So if you are more comfortable with keeping it private, then do it. The space is for you, and even if your in your parents home, theres no reason why a space for just YOU shouldnt be allowable in that home.
    It is good to have an end to journey toward;
    but it is the journey that matters, in the end.

    - Ursula K. Le Guin.

  3. #33
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    Aug 2008
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    Minnesota
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    Thank you, I agree completely.

    It saddens me to hear of this first doctor. It's disgusting how people can say things like that. Whatever you were going though, I hope it's not a problem anymore. :]

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    24
    Okay. I know you don't want to hear this. But if your parents don't want you to have an altar (if you know they don't, even if you didn't ask) you don't need to have one. It will upset them if they realize what it is. I had one "in plain sight" for years, I hid and I lied for years, and it was not a good thing to do. Worse, I showed my parents that I did not deserve the trust that they gave me. Just talk to them. As it turned out, my parents were more accepting than I thought they would be, and they allow me to be Pagan. I just wish I had been honest from the beginning. Go talk to them, please. Don't do something in their house that you know they won't agree with.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    24
    Well you haven't asked yet have you? You should...you never know what will happen. My parents were accepting of me, yours might be of you. And if they aren't then you should wait until they do, or until you live on your own.

  6. #36
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    Aug 2008
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    Minnesota
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sera Kenina View Post
    Okay. I know you don't want to hear this.
    I'm sorry, but no, I don't.
    It would be better if I kept this from them, and I'm going to. I made up my mind a long time ago about this and I will stick with it because in my situation, this is the best thing to do. End of story.

  7. #37
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    Oct 2005
    Location
    Olean, NY
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    OK, if that's the way you want it, have it your way. You're a victim being persecuted by mean nasty Christians and you have to sneak and lie and hide because your parents wouldn't understand and take your toys away otherwise. Besides, hiding a secret altar will provide tangible proof for you that you know some mystical secrets that they in their Christian ignorance, don't. You're right and they're wrong and it's not fair.

    Good luck growing through any religion with that attitude. I'm sorry to hear you feel that way.

    You asked for advice and opinions and when you didn't like the ones you got you threw a tantrum because you already have your mind made up. Perhaps instead of adivice, you wanted attention, sympathy and to have your feelings of persecution validated? My appologies, I thought you were asking advice from more experienced Wiccans, and we honestly relayed our advice and experience. No one claimed to be "superior", we were just honeset in our advice. I'm sorry if you were expecting sympathy and didn't get it.

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!

  8. #38
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Norman, Oklahoma.
    Posts
    286
    I have to agree with Brymble. Anything that is not a pat on the head and "keep on lying" is immediately rejected. The fact that other people are telling a minor to lie and hide things from their parents is out-and-out horrifying to me, as well.

    The impression I get is very confusing, and I was honestly offering advice to -help-, I'm sorry if your view of the situation prevented you from seeing that I only meant well. Your responses look like you're putting your fingers in your ears and saying "I'm can't hear you, LA LA LA." That is not, exactly, an appropriate response when you've put out a very public request for advice.

    I can't help it that it annoys you, and certainly am not aiming for that result. I am, however, challenging you to be a better, more honest, and more responsible person. Something that, as a Pagan (and I assume, a magic-worker of some sort), should be high on your list of priorities.

    Building your faith on a foundation of lies and skullduggery means that it will fail you later on, inside or outside. You are at a huge and -very important- crossroads, you can take a path of deceit, in both lying to others and yourself, or you can take the path of maturity and responsibility. Lying about your Work will strip the power from it. It sends mixed messages to the mind when, one moment, that table in the corner is The Sacred Altar... and the next it's "Just a nightstand".

    Your faith will survive that, sure, but it will not -thrive- in that.

    I still wish you the best of luck, I still wish people weren't telling a minor to lie to their parents. I still wish that this were a perfect world wherein faith was individual and respected universally. I still wish you were letting the information in, even if you don't agree with it.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
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    Sep 2004
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    Loudon, TN
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    so, why the over analysis of her life when that wasnt really part of the question or direct topic?

    Just because she doesnt feel comfortable enough talking to them about it doesnt mean she has a bad attitude about things, or christians. Personally I think thats making a mountain out of a molehill.

    My family doesnt know im pagan and im almost 30. 13, 18 or 30, religion and spirituality is a very personal and private thing to some people and dont wish to discuss it with others.

    It might be their house, but its her home to and I dont really put this under the teen gone bad category.

    Kids should be able to have some sort of privacy and things to themselves. I think spirituality/religion is one of them.

    Parents are not always right.

    Back on topic.

    You've got some good advice. Alters dont have to be out there in your face hey look at me! Alot of times they just look really decorative and pretty to people who have no idea what you are doing.

  10. #40
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    Nov 2005
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    Southern Indiana
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    Quote Originally Posted by TuathaSidhe View Post
    so, why the over analysis of her life when that wasnt really part of the question or direct topic?

    Just because she doesnt feel comfortable enough talking to them about it doesnt mean she has a bad attitude about things, or christians. Personally I think thats making a mountain out of a molehill.

    My family doesnt know im pagan and im almost 30. 13, 18 or 30, religion and spirituality is a very personal and private thing to some people and dont wish to discuss it with others.

    It might be their house, but its her home to and I dont really put this under the teen gone bad category.

    Kids should be able to have some sort of privacy and things to themselves. I think spirituality/religion is one of them.

    Parents are not always right.

    Back on topic.

    You've got some good advice. Alters dont have to be out there in your face hey look at me! Alot of times they just look really decorative and pretty to people who have no idea what you are doing.
    This.

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