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Thread: Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Support

  1. #11
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    I've thought about breaking up with my boyfriend so many times, but felt it was too impulsive to blow off a 4 year relationship over what seems like a bad day. So I'm giving it until the first of the year...see if I feel the same way then.

    Just so flippin tired of the whole thing today. Feel like the last 3 years or so have been totally wasted on just...waiting around.
    -little owl[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fireheart View Post
    I've thought about breaking up with my boyfriend so many times, but felt it was too impulsive to blow off a 4 year relationship over what seems like a bad day. So I'm giving it until the first of the year...see if I feel the same way then.

    Just so flippin tired of the whole thing today. Feel like the last 3 years or so have been totally wasted on just...waiting around.
    I feel like that sometimes. My policy in my brain has generally been to wait until a visit and see how I feel. I don't know how far apart your visits are, which could make your opinion of that policy different. But I find that when we're together, the worrying about spending all my time waiting pales in comparison to how happy I am with him.

    It also usually helps to go out with some friends to remember that you're not just waiting around, you have a full life, just with a lover who is far away.

  3. #13
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    Well (To no one in particular) I've had some time to dwell on on some matters which tend to come up in LDRs, one in particular is the absolute disgust of the distance. This has happened to myself many times, usually the periods all filled with stress and just complete apathy for the relationship.

    I can recall moments when I were battling these thoughts where when the phone rang I would just cringe because I knew it was her, and she was still so far away. The phrase "What's the point!" comes to mind. These can be deadly to any relationship but when dealing with a LDR it can much much worse.

    All I can say is if the relationship is strong and you work together through it, or maybe take a break to relax a bit(with intentions of getting back together) the relationship has a much better chance of making it for the long haul.





  4. #14
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    Gawd, I thought I was so messed up for feeling that way. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I can't begin to tell you guys how nice.

    Our trips are every 3 months at most. 3.5 this past one, and it's been the longest wait in a long time. I've just been so busy, it didn't hit me before. Never had time to think.

    I think that's a good policy, Heart of All.
    -little owl[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
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    You're not messed up, I've have the same moments before. I only see Nick once to twice a year. I remind myself why I'm with him, how I feel about him and how he makes me feel. I also tell myself that I am not waiting for my life to begin because I'm not with him, we are just living a part until we can come together.

  6. #16
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    Yay this thread!

    I've been with my s/o for 5 years. ~3.5 were long distance...of varying degrees- we started out 1200+ miles apart and then 250 miles apart for a while. We are now engaged and living together.

    I totally understand the difficulties people are describing...been there for sure. Seeing your person for a visit is like the best high in the world, but then as the days, weeks, months go by and you're physically by yourself and lonely, it's easy to get disillusioned and ask "why am I doing this?"

    I'll admit that my eyes wondered from time to time...but my heart didn't. At the end of the day, no one I met during those 4 years of long distance sparked my interest like Colin did/still does. We never ran up against the trust issues that many in LDRs seem to probably because we talked so much about pretty much everything.

    I guess my feeling is that if distance is the only thing gumming up an otherwise wonderful relationship, it's worth the wait...no matter how long.

  7. #17
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    So I'm not in an LDR right now (though I may end up pursuing one -- not sure yet), but I've been in them before.

    But, I have a question: what do you guys say when someone claims LDRs never work out? What could I say, seeing as how mine in the past haven't worked out, and I'm not even in a relationship right now period? I believe they can work out, but ... yeah, I guess it's hard for some people to be convinced if they hear it from someone like me.
    02-07-1943
    05-19-2009
    Papi - R.I.P.
    I love you. Always.

  8. #18
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    I usually shrug it off when people say that. I firmly believe they're wrong. But if you really want to make an argument back, you could point out that most relationships don't work out, so it's silly to write of LDRs.

    Most people don't write off relationships altogether because they've seen most of them fail. But most of them do. Most LDRs fail, too, but why write them off for that reason if it makes you happy? I think people just notice how often LDRs fail because it's a more extraordinary situation.
    Last edited by Heart of All; December 1st, 2009 at 11:01 AM.

  9. #19
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    Basically what Heart of All said :D lol
    -little owl[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heart of All View Post
    I usually shrug it off when people say that. I firmly believe they're wrong. But if you really want to make an argument back, you could point out that most relationships don't work out, so it's silly to write of LDRs.

    Most people don't write off relationships altogether because they've seen most of them fail. But most of them do. Most LDRs fail, too, but why write them off for that reason if it makes you happy? I think people just notice how often LDRs fail because it's a more extraordinary situation.
    Ah, good points.

    I asked since a friend of mine had claimed LDRs never work out. With some people, it's futile to argue, but I felt compelled to argue that it wasn't/isn't true, haha.

    Thanks.
    02-07-1943
    05-19-2009
    Papi - R.I.P.
    I love you. Always.

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