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Thread: Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Support

  1. #21
    Flaire-FireStar Guest
    I think they can work for some people, others... *shrugs*
    I'm a firm believer in that they can and do work out if the people in it want it to, and are willing to go through the pain and commitment. Of course, all of mine have failed too, but I'm not going to give up on that basis.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Florida
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    So...I've found myself in an LDR. It isn't as far away as a couple I've had in the past; we're in the same state, about two hours away. I find it unfortunate that he doesn't have a reliable car to visit me, and I can only visit every now and then...but it's better than nothing.

    He's possibly coming to my town for college/university this upcoming Fall, though. I hope so.
    02-07-1943
    05-19-2009
    Papi - R.I.P.
    I love you. Always.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    California
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    213
    I'm in one, and while it's tough, it can work. He's currently working on finishing his Master's Thesis and looking at PhD programs before I can head out and move with him. I've gotten a lot of my school work done in the meantime. We've been at this for two years now and I've never met anyone more perfect. Sigh. I should be seeing him sometime in Feb, we're working on that. He's in a different state and I'm currently IM'ing him.



    "What does it matter by which wisdom each of us arrives at truth?
    It is not possible that only one road leads to so sublime a mystery."
    - Symmachus, 4 C.E.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    NY State
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    I'm not usually in a LDR, but my partner has been on the west coast for the past month. She doesn't have a cell phone and, at the moment, she barely gets any internet. It upset me that she didn't warn me that she wouldn't have many opportunities to talk to me. I also told her that I need to have a conversation with her everyday because it makes my anxiety really bad when I don't. She doesn't understand why I need this, so I'm wondering if I'm just being unreasonable. Any thoughts?
    I'll put a spell on you;
    You'll fall asleep, and I'll put a spell on you.
    And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see,
    And you'll realize that you love me.
    Aqualung (Strange & Beautiful)

  5. #25
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    13,222
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolixte View Post
    I'm not usually in a LDR, but my partner has been on the west coast for the past month. She doesn't have a cell phone and, at the moment, she barely gets any internet. It upset me that she didn't warn me that she wouldn't have many opportunities to talk to me. I also told her that I need to have a conversation with her everyday because it makes my anxiety really bad when I don't. She doesn't understand why I need this, so I'm wondering if I'm just being unreasonable. Any thoughts?

    I don't feel you are being unreasonable. If you were in a relationship with someone close by, chances are you would speak every day. The only time I don't think a couple could is if one of them is in the military. I need reassurance as well.
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  6. #26
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glowy View Post
    I don't feel you are being unreasonable. If you were in a relationship with someone close by, chances are you would speak every day. The only time I don't think a couple could is if one of them is in the military. I need reassurance as well.
    Same here. Usually if Nick and I don't speak at least once a day I become insecure.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    city of brotherly love
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    I can go a few days without talking to Davin, but only if we say ahead of time "I'm going to be really busy for the next few days and don't think I'll have time to talk" or "So and so is coming for a visit, so I won't have time to talk." If it's a surprise not talking day, I start to worry a lot.

  8. #28
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jolixte View Post
    I'm not usually in a LDR, but my partner has been on the west coast for the past month. She doesn't have a cell phone and, at the moment, she barely gets any internet. It upset me that she didn't warn me that she wouldn't have many opportunities to talk to me. I also told her that I need to have a conversation with her everyday because it makes my anxiety really bad when I don't. She doesn't understand why I need this, so I'm wondering if I'm just being unreasonable. Any thoughts?
    I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'd prefer to talk to my SO every day, even if just for a few moments...and if there's some amount of time (most hours of a day, or days, or weeks) that we can't, I'd prefer a heads up than just be ... surprised and confused.
    02-07-1943
    05-19-2009
    Papi - R.I.P.
    I love you. Always.

  9. #29
    Flaire-FireStar Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolixte View Post
    I'm not usually in a LDR, but my partner has been on the west coast for the past month. She doesn't have a cell phone and, at the moment, she barely gets any internet. It upset me that she didn't warn me that she wouldn't have many opportunities to talk to me. I also told her that I need to have a conversation with her everyday because it makes my anxiety really bad when I don't. She doesn't understand why I need this, so I'm wondering if I'm just being unreasonable. Any thoughts?
    You're not being unreasonable at all. That's how my last relationship collapsed - he would disappear for days (up to a week) on end, no communication. It's not that I get insecure, it's just that I get frustrated 'cause I don't see the point in being in a relationship if we're not even going to be conversing. I think if it's something important to you then it should be addressed, yeah? *smiles softly*

  10. #30
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flaire-FireStar View Post
    You're not being unreasonable at all. That's how my last relationship collapsed - he would disappear for days (up to a week) on end, no communication. It's not that I get insecure, it's just that I get frustrated 'cause I don't see the point in being in a relationship if we're not even going to be conversing. I think if it's something important to you then it should be addressed, yeah? *smiles softly*
    Agreed.

    For me it is not so much a lack of talking, but a lack of desire to talk. If you do not wish to speak fairly regularly, then um, maybe we should just call it quits? :

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