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Thread: Your Community Experiences?

  1. #51
    Umbress's Avatar
     is offline Shadow walker and feeder of felines
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    between two states of mind
    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    When we were talking about experiences with deities and I mentioned that my deities did not require me to worship them, and that they told me religion is really for humans, not them, and that you really don't need to worship anyone, well, let's just say that didn't go over too well.
    Most of the pagans I hang out with don;t worship their deities not in a christian sense - Must have been the way you said it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    We were discussing occupations once, and someone was like, "I sell sex toys" and I was like, oh, um, okay. Well then. I thought they'd at least say barber or truck driver or something.
    Maybe they do sell sex toys for a living - why should they lie and say they're a truck driver if they don't drive a truck

    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    But most Pagans I've come across had this dark, goth energy about them. Either that, or they were just flippant, flitting, unorganized adults. Scattered would be the better word. Loud-and-proud, too.
    WTF is wrong with dark energy??? Not every one is designed to be light and love. I have a lot of "dark energy" but I am by no means goth -To equate the two as one in the same is stereotyping two different types of people who are two different types of people

    - I have met many a nice folks who would fit into the category of "goth",their energy isn't dark at all -

    Dark pagans can look like middle age women wearing flowery dresses!!! I know I am one of them.

    Unorganized adults you mean ADHDers?? If you want to be organized then be organized what does that have to do with other people??? Loud and Proud????? Some pagans are loud just as some are not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    There are some quiet, un-assuming Pagans I know that you'd never guess were Pagan by appearance or mannerisms, and that's how I like it. You can be different without being obnoxious or weird. You can go skyclad, be proud without standing up and shouting it from the rooftops, have a nice energy about you, without being weird. You can be interesting without being openly weird to the extreme. And Paganism tends to attract a lot of extreme people, at least where I am.

    Some pagans are quiet and others are loud - it is called diversity.

    People are not obligated to conform to your preferences or likes this does not make them weird or extreme

    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    Wow, Pagans have a lot of issues. Your religion should not have anything to do with your personality or appearance. It's just what you believe. Why do so many people have to get all mean or be immature adults just because they're Pagan? Christians are more mature adults than Pagans I've seen at gatherings. And those Pagans are adults.
    If you are not a pagan why bother going to pagan events . . . Christians are as a group more socially rigid in their expectations. Their immaturity is just not as "loud". PEOPLE have issues - what you are seeing is a difference in social expectations and atmosphere.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    The Pagans tend to be blunt and harsh. The newagey people tend to be blissfully spaced-out, nonjudgmental to the extreme. I'm human. I make judgments and have expectations. It's what I *do*. It helps me decide who to hang out with. So the Pagan/newagey folks tend to be in the extreme. And they talk about balance, but they don't seem very stable or balanced to me.
    Some traits are toxic to me and I reserve the right to determine that however the toxicity and aversion I feel is my problem to deal with not theirs.

    Being judgmental is expecting every one to live up to your expectations, without accepting responsibility for your own perceptions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild Tudor View Post
    My experiences weren't fun, so I don't go to gatherings anymore.
    Not going probably works for you and them both.
    Last edited by Umbress; June 1st, 2011 at 08:58 AM.

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by EbonyWolf View Post
    Yea, I for one like you a lot!
    You're really helpful to me, and nice too.
    :D Thanks ^^ Glad I could be useful~

    Gotta love being prejudiced against in your own community XDD

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Since I babbled about not-goth pagans, I feel I should babble about my experiences with teh gothling pagans, out of fairness. Also, I just remembered this story a bit ago, after I posted my other experiences. *nervous giggle* ^_^'

    *le sigh* I've only had contact with one, and it wasn't fun. I talked about it in another thread.
    Long story short: She babbled about attacking people to drink their blood and tried to summon Cthulu on me. o__o This is why I tend to get prejudice against Lovecraft's stories before I read them. His fans ruined his work for me, but I still want to read Cthulu. I... just won't go out of my way to do it. XD

    Sadly, outside of MW, I don't have any particularly good experiences in this community with the people... but soon! :D I'm trying to make more pagan friends offline, so I hope that works :3


    Quote Originally Posted by Umbress View Post
    - I have met many a nice folks who would fit into the category of "goth",their energy isn't dark at all -
    I agree. Lots of people don't even notice that I look like Cousin Itt with a haircut because I'm so bubbly and shy at the same time... the not-dark energy certainly helps me there! XD

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    I've had good and bad experiences.

    I am part of a group of traditional Wiccans, but as a "friend of the coven" since I'm Kemetic, not Wiccan, and don't wish to be initiated and follow their God and Goddess. I really like the group and they are like the family I never had.

    But, I don't like the general pagan gatherings in my area. Most of the people there seem to want to be pagan because they think it makes it acceptable to just get high or drunk, and run around naked. Alcohol and nudity are fine, but running around drunk/stoned and naked is not what paganism is about, and I am annoyed by people who want to circle when they are too drunk to walk without falling over.

    The younger people tend to be like my sister, saying they're pagan, but they've never done a ritual, constructed a shrine/altar, etc. They just want to rebel against their Christian parents/the establishment, and look dark and cool by wearing a pentacle.

    Then there are the people who obviously like Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/whatever too much, and are just acting out their fantasies of being a witch/wizard. There is a big-name pagan who gives me this impression very strongly when I read his books, but I won't name names.
    Last edited by Mars Rising; June 6th, 2011 at 02:58 PM. Reason: typo

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Los Angeles
    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkle View Post
    Horrific. I went to a Pagan Meetup so that I could interact and develop friendships with other Pagans.

    Right out of the gate I found I had absolutely *nothing* in common with them. I didn't "work with" deities, I didn't smoke weed or want to dance naked in front of a bonfire. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with any of those's just not me.

    It was a terrible experience for me. Hellenic Recons seem to be quite scarce.
    I have to echo this sentiment.

    I also found a Meetup group in my area that, while the group members were very open to new people, there was a set way of doing things that they were not keen on altering. I excused myself from several group rituals that I felt were not the most respectful and the tolerance for, and sometimes encouragement of, very fluffy bunny and over-the-top granola behavior was very off-putting.

    On top of that, I have NEVER in my entire left met a group of people that smoked so prodigiously. Gatherings were ~15 and of the people who were there probably 12 would smoke and 10 or so of them were chain smokers. We'd often meet outside of this coffee place to talk and we'd get an empty cup for cigarette butts that was at least ten inches tall and large enough to comfortably hold 10-12 cups of liquid and by the end of the night (this is roughly a four and a half hour stretch of time we're talking about) it would be FULL of used butts. I had to leave early many times simply because I was unable to breathe.

    What was worst was the individual members themselves were very nice people that I could get along well with on an individual basis but the group as a whole was a little too much.

    A problem I've run into repeatedly with trying to find groups of other Pagans is the other attitudes that often accompany people in the Pagan belief system. I consider myself to be a fairly practical Pagan; I don't dress up, I have an extremely simple altar that's used more as a reminder than an actual sacred space, I tend to reach for mundane explanations for things before turning to the metaphysical, I don't maintain a Book of Shadows, I don't use any of the language, I'm not a fan of pageantry or rituals featuring breathless speeches, I don't use magic, I don't get involved with talking to spirits or astral projection or anything like that, I don't even SPEAK during rituals. When I run into people that are...shall we say much more esoteric in their thinking I'm at a complete loss because, no, I don't talk to the spirits of the trees and I have no desire to do so. I don't have a problem with or look down on people who do, but I cant really exchange with someone who does reiki healing or palm reading when I'm not really into that sort of thing. Usually this gives people the impression I'm very armchair and not REALLY that Pagan and the relationship usually sours from there.

    I also have a very low tolerance for drama-seekers and people who are Pagan because they want to be edgy and cool. I can deal with it for a while but after a while my sarcasm streak starts rearing it's head. I try to keep in mind that, yes, I was once that insufferable, I once wore a pentacle the size of a CD around my neck (I still have it actually) and that I grew out of it. They can and will too if I'm patient and refrain from strangling them.

    Because the Pagan community is very inter-linked, it's hard to find another group if you sour on one because invariably there's some crossover at some point where you're going to come into contact with the old group. As a result, I've stayed largely solitary the last few years but I've steadily been gathering nerve to find another group.
    "There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. By doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses one still gets wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will get the same soaking. This understanding extends to all things."

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    WV, USA
    My only contact offline with the pagan community is at the local witch shop. I don't care for it. They have a pretty tight circle and not very open to new people. They also sell head shop stuff and adult porn which I don't think is productive but I'm not them. I go for last minute stuff but tend to stay away from there. Other than that none.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Green and fertile Bible Belt land
    I tend to have difficulties with people; I have bipolar disorder and that makes me a socially awkward turtle. Suffice it to say that I'd rather not socialize with anyone outside of online communities and my roommate. My experiences with pagan people outside of MW (MW is the first place I've found where I enjoy talking to other pagans) have been usually pretty laughable.

    I will literally walk away from someone while they are talking to me if I cannot stand their company. This happened this previous summer when Slime (my roommate) and I went to the Eminence Ren Fair in Henry County, KY. We stopped to look at a collection of tables with stuff on them when we were closed in on by a young man in his twenties who saw a chance to go I-Know-Everything on us both. We've been making fun of him EVER SINCE. I walked away while he was going on about popping his friend's chi bubble or whatever he was talking about--unfortunately Slime will stay and be polite and watch a person make an ass of themselves, so she got stuck talking to him. I wandered over to another stand and was brutally set upon by a fat lady in a chair who howled at me that I had bought the ren fair dress she had had her eye on. Then tried to sell me her gaudy jewelry. I ran away. The next time we happened near, she yowled out again, "I'M SORRY I SCARED YOU DO YOU WANT A NECKLACE I REALLY DID WANT THAT DRESS" I was literally seconds away from saying something like "LOSE A FEW POUNDS AND I'LL SELL IT TO YOU AND NO YOUR JEWELRY IS FUGLY."

    On the contrary, there was a stall of bath products which were actually really cool--there was a poison ivy prevention soap bar that I wanted--but the lady, bless her sweet heart (oh my god she was so sweet) was a fluffy bunny if ever there was one. This is one of those interestingly adorable people that I will sit and listen to, because they are just that sweet. She went on about her familiar and whatnot (I don't believe in the idea of "familiars" myself) but I listened to her go on until she had gotten everything out. Obviously she needed to talk to someone. It is this type of person who has my empathy and my ear. I honestly do care about people when they're kind to me.

    Most otherwise, though, I find I have a hard time holding a straight face and/or caring.
    Last edited by Heliotrope; January 2nd, 2012 at 12:15 PM.

    [you have been visited by a heliotrope]


  8. #58
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Huntsville, AL
    My experiences haven't been very positive, unfortunately. When I used to live in a small town in UT, I tried to find other Pagans in the area, and every single one I met (save for one nice couple) seemed to be into it to either rebel from their parents, or to escape from reality. The most memorable was one girl who claimed to be the Goddess incarnate, who could shapeshift physically into a wolf and could fluently speak ancient Gaelic (as well as a guy who claimed to have magical wind powers). I eventually decided that I must be the most boring Pagan in the universe, and stopped trying to find anyone I could relate to.

    Now that I am living in AL, I haven't really tried to meet anyone in the local community yet because of all of the bad experiences I had in UT. I tried to contact one or two people through the Witch's Voice, but they seemed really negative. There is a Pagan Meetup here, and I'm on the mailing list, but I haven't found the courage to go to one yet.

    To me it doesn't really matter that much anyways - I'm a solitary practitioner since I follow my own "customized" path. None of the friends I hang out with at the moment are Pagan, and that's ok, they don't need to be.
    Last edited by The Grumble; January 2nd, 2012 at 02:52 PM. Reason: Typo!

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    I have always been a Solitary practitioner. I have never, before recently, felt a need to reach out to others. My path has always been clearly defined. I consider myself to be grounded, logical, deeply spiritual.

    Unfortunatly, most of the "Pagans" I've encountered throughout my life are fluff. I have little tollerance for people who are so fake. Or lost... /shrug.

    But, there have been one or two kindered spirits I've run into during my lifetime. That may not seem like much, but it really is a profound moment when that connection is made.

    There is a lot of fear and ignorance out there. I find a lot of people too closeminded. I don't want to get to know them. I'm ok with that

    ~ Jaz )O(

  10. #60
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Winsted, Connecticut, United States
    I miss the MW of 2001-2007
    Laura Jane Yelsits Faedi
    5/12/62 ~ 4/9/10
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." - Buddha
    The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.

    Always be honest.
    Make me laugh.
    Respect boundaries.
    Take me as I am.
    Say what you mean and mean what you say.
    Be thoughtful and make me feel special.

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