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Thread: Partner tells that people are hitting on them?

  1. #1
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    Partner tells that people are hitting on them?

    Do you tell your partner that this or that person is hitting on you, then why do you do this?
    It must be many people who recognize this, because I see this phenomena a lot, with my friends girlfriends or my past girlfriends. Only girls in my experience tho. But there must be guys doing this to, then in a bragging context I could believe.

    But aint it kinda weird or even stupid when this things happen through receiving a sms with no bigger context around it, it just says "A man walked up to me and said that he wants me to come up to his place" or "What do you think of me being alone with my friend(a guy)?"

    I am not worried and I am not seeking for tips to deal with this, I just want peoples stories of this, experience or speculations.
    I googled this and found a couple of threads, and the motivation seems to be that the girls(in these examples) want to be more treasured by their partner. But people seem to speculate freely that this doing is about making their partners jealous, or an test to observe the reactions of their partner(which would require an example with a communication method other then sms I guess).
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  2. #2
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    I do that to my Mr. Man, simply because I love to see him get all big bad bear. It's like a little love-game we play, and only with each other and in private. "This guy was hitting on me." "I'm gonna get him." "Yes you are, big muscles."
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  3. #3
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    My man and I tell. Granted, we don't whip out our phone and text the other about it the instant it happens, but we tell each other about it when we're talking about how our day went, if we remember.
    People outside the relationship will assume what they want to assume about it, that I'm trying to make him jealous, or that he's trying to be a show-off. Then again, consider what they're doing: evaluating the actions of someone else in another relationship. Last person who did that with my relationship had a major motive, so of course he'll twist it to meet that criteria. Most just think what they want.
    As for the reason I tell, it's because I'm uncomfortable if I don't. At least when it's a serious come-on from somebody I know/will be around a lot for some reason. If it's just a wolfwhistle from a passing car, I usually forget about it ten seconds later, so he never finds out XD

  4. #4
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    I had an EX (keyword there) that would do this ALL the time. Drove me flipping bonkers. Half the time I'm fairly sure he was making it up. Like the story about the girl who pushed him against the wall outside work and kissed him (that was a tame story). I never understood what the motivation was. Did he think that constantly making me feel like other women were trying to get in his pants made him more attractive to me? Protip for all you guys out there: it don't.

  5. #5
     is offline I was not born under a rhyming planet.
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    My hubby and I do it when we talk about how our days have been. It's just something I think it's reasonable to do. Someone was hitting on me, I tell my husband. Someone was hitting on my husband, he tells me. We have a good laugh about it and that's it. I think it is a sign that you have a healthy relationship. Why wouldn't you tell your partner about that? It would feel kind of sordid if I didn't tell my husband. We have a solid relationship and sharing these things with each other is a sign that we are honest and up front about things like that.

    Sure, some people might lie up stories to provoke a reaction from others. But telling your partner someone else asked you out is just telling your partner someone else asked you out. There doesn't have to be any motives behind it. I think it's odd one wouldn't share it. But then again, my husband and I are very upfront about everything, including harmless crushes on other people.
    Previously known as Njorun Alma


    "A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows." - George Bernard Shaw


  6. #6
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    I agree with Flux. Yeah it comes up in general convo but thats it.

  7. #7
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    Haha, I can visualize that.
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  8. #8
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    Good stories. Sounds like it happens within steady and long relationships here?

    Personally I have no negative experiences with such since long, I somewhat feel that different persons do this for different reasons.
    My first partner was really emotional abusive and thats the story of an insecure one. But lately I observe this behavior in a more everyday context, dont happen that often, and which aint to weird or suspect. And personally I dont like to share my stories of people hitting on me with my partner, not that I want to hide them but maybe I dont want to worry my partner, maybe its because of something else, I just cant accept that I would talk of myself in such a way, I been trying for long to work on reducing my pride which stretched far and wide, and maybe I have went to the extreme.
    I do think its often nice and entertaining with an exchange of stories when other people might be hitting on one, when its within a conversation, or when you can see it coming. I know that some of my partners are really attractive and I like to remind them that they are being closely observed by other people and that they have potential to get anyone, I cant say that I felt any kind of jealousy, but I always seek deeper motivation in what people tell me, because I dont feel for talking without having several motivations or meaning behind the topic
    Last edited by SacredNight; October 11th, 2011 at 04:58 AM.
    This will be a good signature one day

  9. #9
     is offline I was not born under a rhyming planet.
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    I think that once you get to a certain point it's just a funny story to tell. In some ways, for me and my husband, it's an ego boost for both parties. The one who gets hit on gets confirmation that they're still desirable and their partner gets confirmation they have a desirable partner. I think it has a lot to do with the dynamic of the relationship. :D
    Previously known as Njorun Alma


    "A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows." - George Bernard Shaw


  10. #10
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    I think it depends on context. I had a guy tell me about some woman who hit on him, and then proceed to tell me he almost took a pic of her so that I could see what he was turning down because he loved me.

    Personally, I found it rude and absolutely manipulative. He thought he was expressing to me that there was no other but me, and never would be. I'm still not sure if the issue was really my insecurity, or if there is a different mindset between men and women.
    "The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common:
    instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views,
    which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering."


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