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Thread: Need some help sorting through a problem

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Within the hinterlands of the Midwest
    Age
    31
    Posts
    133
    Ma'am, you are really taking what I said way out of context and are being rather rude about it. I don't appreciate that. But thank you for your advice, I appreciate it.

    I appreciate all the advice I've been given in this thread. It gives me something to think about.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    1,101
    Quote Originally Posted by Serpent View Post
    Ma'am, you are really taking what I said way out of context and are being rather rude about it. I don't appreciate that. But thank you for your advice, I appreciate it.

    I appreciate all the advice I've been given in this thread. It gives me something to think about.
    I'm sorry, if you would prefer that I sugar coat it and make it all pretty and nice for you I can, but I seriously doubt it will be of any help. As I prefer total honesty, I try to give the same.

    As a parent of three, a single mother who at one point lived with her parents, I can see multiple sides to this. There were a few things I picked up on in your posts that I know I would find highly insulting. If those are your true feelings, and we must presume they are since you wrote them, then it is more than likely that those feelings were obvious to this girl's family. YOU may not have realized it at the time, but hindsight is always 20/20.

    So I apologize if I hurt your feelings and if my honesty with you was rude. If you only want people to pat you on the back and tell you how wonderful you are for dating a single mom, taking on her child as your own and how terrible her parents are for not liking you, then maybe you should just say so at the start. I was under the presumption that you wanted our honest opinions.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    6,075
    I'm not really understanding where the empath and reading people thing really comes into play with personal dynamics. What you perceive may be false, and basing a relationship with people on what you perceive to be true rather than what *is* true - has gotten you in the pickle you are in right now.

    First off, I understand wanting to be a positive influence in a child's life - but this is *not* your child. As a single mother myself, any man that tried to push his ways on to my raising of my child will get the boot. My family would also give him a big attitude.

    Secondly - I've read back through this thread many a time - and quite frankly, you're coming off like a condescending asshole. If you are not a condescending asshole, then I suggest you reevaluate what you say and how you say it. If you are a condescending asshole, then you deserve the family's dislike and the disintegration of your relationship with both your girlfriend and her child.
    "The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common:
    instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views,
    which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering."


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