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Thread: Partner not feeling anything for me anymore

  1. #1
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    Partner not feeling anything for me anymore

    Ya, well what a cliché, I am upset and have to vent, but I am doing very well and dont need support but somehow need any type of comments, I dont understand my partner and maybe you know how you yourself work and can share with me.

    My girlfriend for a year and a half long started crying yesterday, and she does not communicate much with me nor share or show feelings often, but when she does its really adorable. She dident want to spill it out what was going on yesterday but after a while said that she does not know what she feels anymore.
    I am the "giver" in the relationship, the one who shows most affection for the other, but yesterday I played it really cool and I seemed unaffected by her words, (honestly I dident feel like a victim when it was her who showed pain of us two), she havent been really active in showing me attention the last months so I suspected that she dident like me much or that she just was not the passionate type. But she cried so much and also said that she may regret her decision.

    I reminded her of how "unreasonable" much she liked me not long ago, the moments which happen time to times when she spills her hearth out. I hit several memories of hers under a short time, I was the one who only talked the whole time. She just went deeper into a hysterical cry directly for each memory I brought up.
    I thought it would be best that she took all her stuff away from my place the same day, so the break up would be easier and more clean if it comes to that in the near future, also it was my way of making her realize that this might be over for real now and make her more conscious of how she will have it if she leaves me.
    Seems she have such strong anxiety. Somehow I cant accept that she does not feel for me when she cries so much.

    She took her jacket and boots on and stood in the hallway with many bags, she looked unsure if she should leave, I said
    -you aint sure about anything today huh.
    I said that I am not going anywhere, that I want her if she wants me, that I am attracted to her in all possible ways, that I can imagine a long future with her, and that she has time to decide if she will leave me.

    After I said that, it was the first time for the day she came actively to me and hugged me for a long time, and also when she came to the hallway outside of the apartment after I insisted that she should go though with her decision of leaving the apartment for the day, she took some steps back to me and gave me a long and passionate kiss.

    I dont know what to make out of all this, I got an emial today and will get another one later, she rambled much about her education and I dident get any clear answers about us two, she said at least it would probably over now if I didn't remind her of the good moments. But I was clear with her yesterday that she must communicate with me, and it seems this was a try from her.
    Also it is worth noting that there is no bad things in our relationship, no real reason(according to me) to break up, and that all my moments with her are satisfying and happy for me. She is just dead inside.
    I know from my friends that they can just leave their partners because of they are bored and unstimulated and so on, maybe it is something like that in my situation.
    Last edited by SacredNight; April 20th, 2012 at 12:10 PM.
    This will be a good signature one day

  2. #2
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    Sometimes people just need time apart. They think the grass is greener and they need the chance to get out there and see that it really isn't. Sounds like she has a lot of things going on in her head right now and is using you as her catalyst. while that is well and fine for her, it hurts you and you have every right to be confused and upset.

    I personally would say let's just not communicate at all until such and such a date and we'll get together then and talk all of this out. You might want to set a few ground rules such as yes we are broken up so any one night stands are your business, or no we aren't broken up so don't go sleeping around kind of thing. You don't want to try to work things out and discover either of you has had an "unforgivable" moment.

    People are confusing to begin with even when they know their own mind. If they are confused on who they are and what they want it just increases the difficulty for others 1000X.

    If you must talk now, then keep the conversation to the here and now, don't bring up good or bad things from your past together or stuff from before. Try to hone in on what the issue really is and see if it can be fixed or if you need to just walk away.

    Good luck, fighting with the people you love is always hard.

  3. #3
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    maybe her situation is not about me, if it isent then I think she would not solve anything by leaving me, but if she know this is about me then she can be more sure to go through with her decision.
    This will be a good signature one day

  4. #4
    SicilianRose's Avatar
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    It does seem like she has so much going on and could be overwhelmed. I do agree with having a break and then meeting up to discuss things at a later date. I know you love her but it seems like the relationship was extremely one sided from what you stated in your post. Maybe she realizes that and thinks you would be better off with someone else who can give you as much as you give? I don't know. It could so many things and it would be hard to pinpoint until she starts giving you the answers you need.

  5. #5
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    its not extremely one sided, but maybe to much. I still dont get answers tho but I am not upset anymore.
    This will be a good signature one day

  6. #6
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    She's going to have to say the words, tell you what's in her head and trust that you won't smack her with it. Whatever she's worrying over has to come out somewhere, that she's being honest enough to move her stuff is a big thing and you know that's not all of it. Its not going to be anything you want to hear and might not be anything you can help with either.
    Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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