Ya, well what a cliché, I am upset and have to vent, but I am doing very well and dont need support but somehow need any type of comments, I dont understand my partner and maybe you know how you yourself work and can share with me.
My girlfriend for a year and a half long started crying yesterday, and she does not communicate much with me nor share or show feelings often, but when she does its really adorable. She dident want to spill it out what was going on yesterday but after a while said that she does not know what she feels anymore.
I am the "giver" in the relationship, the one who shows most affection for the other, but yesterday I played it really cool and I seemed unaffected by her words, (honestly I dident feel like a victim when it was her who showed pain of us two), she havent been really active in showing me attention the last months so I suspected that she dident like me much or that she just was not the passionate type. But she cried so much and also said that she may regret her decision.
I reminded her of how "unreasonable" much she liked me not long ago, the moments which happen time to times when she spills her hearth out. I hit several memories of hers under a short time, I was the one who only talked the whole time. She just went deeper into a hysterical cry directly for each memory I brought up.
I thought it would be best that she took all her stuff away from my place the same day, so the break up would be easier and more clean if it comes to that in the near future, also it was my way of making her realize that this might be over for real now and make her more conscious of how she will have it if she leaves me.
Seems she have such strong anxiety. Somehow I cant accept that she does not feel for me when she cries so much.
She took her jacket and boots on and stood in the hallway with many bags, she looked unsure if she should leave, I said
-you aint sure about anything today huh.
I said that I am not going anywhere, that I want her if she wants me, that I am attracted to her in all possible ways, that I can imagine a long future with her, and that she has time to decide if she will leave me.
After I said that, it was the first time for the day she came actively to me and hugged me for a long time, and also when she came to the hallway outside of the apartment after I insisted that she should go though with her decision of leaving the apartment for the day, she took some steps back to me and gave me a long and passionate kiss.
I dont know what to make out of all this, I got an emial today and will get another one later, she rambled much about her education and I dident get any clear answers about us two, she said at least it would probably over now if I didn't remind her of the good moments. But I was clear with her yesterday that she must communicate with me, and it seems this was a try from her.
Also it is worth noting that there is no bad things in our relationship, no real reason(according to me) to break up, and that all my moments with her are satisfying and happy for me. She is just dead inside.
I know from my friends that they can just leave their partners because of they are bored and unstimulated and so on, maybe it is something like that in my situation.