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Thread: I Just Don't Understand Internet Forums These Days

  1. #1
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    I Just Don't Understand Internet Forums These Days

    OK it was all started at another forum. I was helping a fellow member by cheering him up. He post on a thread saying that he was a loser and doesn't have sny one to play D&D in real life. So I PM saying he's not a loser. Then I posted a thread about without mentioning his name and all the drama have started. The people that I cheered up was very upset at me for using my disability to troll. Then one member who I thought was defending me throw dirt in my face accusing that I'm troll. I wasn't trolling on anything. I did this for the goodness in my heart that I wanted to share my good deeds with. What's your opinion on about this topic. Do you think what I did was right?
    I'M RICH! MITCH!

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    It doesn't matter that you didn't name him, people will have been reading posts then seen whatever it was you posted and obviously known what it was regarding, and come to the conclusion that you did it purposefully... I would have stayed out of it personally as most people that post comments like that are looking for attention, and for all you know he might well be a looser? Of course if this is someone who you know personally that's different...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mjolnir View Post
    It doesn't matter that you didn't name him, people will have been reading posts then seen whatever it was you posted and obviously known what it was regarding, and come to the conclusion that you did it purposefully... I would have stayed out of it personally as most people that post comments like that are looking for attention, and for all you know he might well be a looser? Of course if this is someone who you know personally that's different...
    I didn't know it'll cause so much drama. I just did it for the goodness of my heart. I didn't intend to start this drama at all.
    I'M RICH! MITCH!

  4. #4
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    BMH,

    Not having actually seen the thread in question its difficult to say how it might have been perceived. Yet if I speculate there are many ways it could have been received, sadly the majority of which could be seen as exploiting both the situation and the person you spoke about in the original thread and to via pm in private. Figure depending upon how it was written it wouldn't take much to piece it together and figure out who the motivating character was that inspired your thread creation. Potentially putting that person in the spot light or hot seat and making them feel even lesser about themselves and singling them out before the entirety of the forum population. Any good intention or purpose lost as the person is put on the defensive right from the get go as the sense of trust and compassion is lost through an idea of betrayal. While the intention on your part may have been sincere and in good faith the outcome could be a disaster for the other person's esteem.

    Take another route in your writing and focus upon your own disabilities as a counter point and you appear to be trolling and making yourself appear to be the greater victim. In essence down playing the other person's limitations and doubts at the comparison and contrast of your greater limitations and disabilities. Creating a false sense of sympathy and support you gave via public support in the other thread and pm only to tear it away in the exposing thread you created. Such a comparison could potentially trigger a backlash against you by other member's of the forum as they potentially could see you as nothing more than a troll seeking to cause disruption and ego stroking for your own enjoyment and self gratification.

    Bad part is your saying you did it from the goodness of your heart but the written word doesn't carry physical or visual emotions typically. So everyone can only judge based on the written word and how it comes across to them and what they perceive from it. I tend to get wordy when I write trying to paint those things with words but realize a thousand good deeds or intents are wiped out by a single screw up and it's hard to clean it up afterwards.

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    Quote Originally Posted by monsnoleedra View Post
    BMH,

    Not having actually seen the thread in question its difficult to say how it might have been perceived. Yet if I speculate there are many ways it could have been received, sadly the majority of which could be seen as exploiting both the situation and the person you spoke about in the original thread and to via pm in private. Figure depending upon how it was written it wouldn't take much to piece it together and figure out who the motivating character was that inspired your thread creation. Potentially putting that person in the spot light or hot seat and making them feel even lesser about themselves and singling them out before the entirety of the forum population. Any good intention or purpose lost as the person is put on the defensive right from the get go as the sense of trust and compassion is lost through an idea of betrayal. While the intention on your part may have been sincere and in good faith the outcome could be a disaster for the other person's esteem.

    Take another route in your writing and focus upon your own disabilities as a counter point and you appear to be trolling and making yourself appear to be the greater victim. In essence down playing the other person's limitations and doubts at the comparison and contrast of your greater limitations and disabilities. Creating a false sense of sympathy and support you gave via public support in the other thread and pm only to tear it away in the exposing thread you created. Such a comparison could potentially trigger a backlash against you by other member's of the forum as they potentially could see you as nothing more than a troll seeking to cause disruption and ego stroking for your own enjoyment and self gratification.

    Bad part is your saying you did it from the goodness of your heart but the written word doesn't carry physical or visual emotions typically. So everyone can only judge based on the written word and how it comes across to them and what they perceive from it. I tend to get wordy when I write trying to paint those things with words but realize a thousand good deeds or intents are wiped out by a single screw up and it's hard to clean it up afterwards.
    Like I said before, I didn't intend to start any drama. I just thought what I did was a good thing.
    I'M RICH! MITCH!

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    No one, especially here from what I can see, said you intended to start anything. But it's always perception and how things are received by the reader that determines the outcome. That's the danger of forums or any medium that depends upon the written word alone to convey our thoughts and try to initiate conversations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by monsnoleedra View Post
    No one, especially here from what I can see, said you intended to start anything. But it's always perception and how things are received by the reader that determines the outcome. That's the danger of forums or any medium that depends upon the written word alone to convey our thoughts and try to initiate conversations.
    I just wish it was a better outcome than all this drama I've been dealing with because of it.
    I'M RICH! MITCH!

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    I can understand and relate to that one. But it's like the old adage..The road to perdition is paved with good intentions .. We mean well and our intent is in the best of purposes but it still goes south all we can do is hope to learn from it or at least survive it and move on and weather the storm that comes with it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by monsnoleedra View Post
    I can understand and relate to that one. But it's like the old adage..The road to perdition is paved with good intentions .. We mean well and our intent is in the best of purposes but it still goes south all we can do is hope to learn from it or at least survive it and move on and weather the storm that comes with it.
    And this is the thanks I get for being empathetic to another human being and share my empathy in a forum. Well I'm not going to do that anymore.
    I'M RICH! MITCH!

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    Just me but I think people forget that empathizing and sympathizing are two different things. Figure empathizing means you know how they feel and can to a degree feel for them, sympathizing means you can feel for them and their situation. A lot of times I've found people want you to empathize with them quietly and in private and perhaps give them a shoulder to lean on when they need it. But keep that empathy to yourself or between the two of you. Sympathize can be shared in public for many times it's a common cause or complaint and can foster a sense of public support when asked for. Bad thing though with both is they can be destructive as well as it can be seen as belittling of the person or even making the person appear weak depending upon how you present it.

    Figure we may empathize and sympathize with the disabled person but have them resent us at the same time for it makes them feel less or weak by our very actions. They fight to be seen as equal or strong in the public eye, and their own sense of self worth and any such display in or can be seen as counter productive by them.

    Of course just my own take on the two words and how I see them so others may use them differently.

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