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Thread: Rape Support Group **Possible MATURE Content**

  1. #21
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    I was 11 (or twelve my timing's off on it) and it happened until I was 16. It was my yougest sister's father. Ironically she's like my daughter in many ways. My mom and him never married and their relationship fell apart about a year after I gather enough courage to put a stop to it. I told no one and kept my mouth shut untill just recently -about a year ago. I made my peace with it a long time ago. The only reason I said anything is because he was still hanging around visiting my sister. She was growing up and the slightest chance that he could ever do such a thing to her struck me.
    So I told my mom and sisters. We cried, went through hell, and started to heal. He's out of the picture now. That's all that matters.

    But talking helps with the healing. I've also noticed that by helping others I help myself heal. If anyone wants to talk please feel free to PM me.

  2. #22
    Romani Vixen's Avatar
     is offline Wondering where I left the TARDIS....
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    Ok... group hug...

    Sat Bast, meryt Serqet-Aset her Yenipu-Wepwawet her HetHert-Sekhmet
    "While I dance I cannot judge,
    I cannot hate,
    I cannot seperate myself from life.
    I can only be joyful and whole.
    That is why I dance."
    --Hans Bos

  3. #23
    Romani Vixen's Avatar
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    I've found that the more time passes... the easier it is to think about. Perhaps that's time dulling memory... I don't know. But time and talking seem to be the best thing... I'm sure that some specifically directed violence would help... but ...
    Sat Bast, meryt Serqet-Aset her Yenipu-Wepwawet her HetHert-Sekhmet
    "While I dance I cannot judge,
    I cannot hate,
    I cannot seperate myself from life.
    I can only be joyful and whole.
    That is why I dance."
    --Hans Bos

  4. #24
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    It first hapened to me by my older brother, he used me to practice on. I was 6 & 7
    Then at age 12 i was gang raped by 5 boys i went to school with. They got let off with a warning.
    Then 2 years ago, i was raped by an intruder in my home. He has pled not guilty and i am awaiting a court date.

    My parents don't remember what happened to me when i was little and i don't bring it up. I also don't speak to my older brother anymore.
    I am also going to drop the charges, as soon as i know how to, as i am not going through it all again!

    Does the anger ever die down?
    Who is Pan and why is he in my life?

    On a Quest for Knowledge!


  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirit wind
    It first hapened to me by my older brother, he used me to practice on. I was 6 & 7
    Then at age 12 i was gang raped by 5 boys i went to school with. They got let off with a warning.
    Then 2 years ago, i was raped by an intruder in my home. He has pled not guilty and i am awaiting a court date.

    My parents don't remember what happened to me when i was little and i don't bring it up. I also don't speak to my older brother anymore.
    I am also going to drop the charges, as soon as i know how to, as i am not going through it all again!

    Does the anger ever die down?

    I find that with time I have learned to control it..and after that..slowly it dies down..but it takes time.. a lot of time..
    *************************************

    "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." ~Albus Dumbledore

    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

    God made so many different kinds of people. Why would he allow only one way to serve him? ~Martin Buber

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirit wind
    Does the anger ever die down?
    I don't know.
    It dulls some with time. But when I look back and think about a certain situation or a certain time and think about the thing he said and did to such a tiny kid. I get mad no enraged. Not as the adult I am, but for the child that was hurt.

    Make sense?

    I don't see him any more, but there was a time when I had to face him almost every weekend. That time has passed. I could see him now and act as if nothing happened.


    Honestly, my faith had a lot to do with it.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yasmine Galenorn

    I refuse to stay in 'victim mentality' because that gives power to the abusers, and if someone tried to come at me today, I'd beat the c**p out of them rather than knuckle under. I will not allow someone to ever treat me like dirt again.
    Yes, exactly how I feel. My attacker died a few years ago. And when I got the call from a friend of mine, I laughed. Like a madwoman. And made sure I visited his grave. That helped. I stomped and spit on it for a good 10 minutes. I screamed and cursed and got it all out of my system, since I had the captive audience. And I knew, whereever he was, he heard.

    I'm lucky, in a sense, that this man wasn't able to attack anyone else after me. I've been able to resolve everything and move on. So many others have to know their attackers are still out there, or worse yet, in their lives. There are times I wish vigilante justice were legal....but I digress.
    "Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness, experiencing itself, subjectively. There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather!"
    - Bill Hicks, 1961 - 1993

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yasmine Galenorn
    It's interesting you say that because I was the same way. This was my stepfather, who was the only 'father figure' I had all my life. And when I found out that he'd finally died, I was ecstatic. I cried, I was so happy. He made everybody miserable, he treated everyone like dirt (my mother left him for a brief time, got pg. with me, and then went back, so he took his anger at her out on me, even though he is legally my father since he's on the birth certificate)...he was a miserable pathetic excuse for a human being who hated seeing anybody else happy because he couldn't find anything in life to be happy about.

    My husband and I went out for coffee that day, and I was sitting there, thinking, "You'll never hurt me again because...guess what!!!!???? You're dead!!!!!!" Almost a nah nah nah nah nah thing.

    And yeah, I know how you feel about vigilante justice...there's a case in Washington State here right now that makes my blood boil about a multi-convicted sex offender being released from his life-in-prison sentence in CA because his accuser, a young teenaged boy, killed himself before the trial and the 'poor pervert' couldn't face his accuser in court. He was supposed to move back up here (gack) but promptly gave the cops the wrong address (he is a registered sex offender so is supposed to be where he says he's going to be) and disappeared for a few weeks. They got him, but now they're worried that in those few weeks, he may well have molested other kids. He admitted to molesting over 200 kids and has, I believe, three prior felony convictions.

    Anyway...let's just say that this case is one shining example of why I'm leery of 'life in prison' sentences...they don't always work.

    Yasmine
    Indeed. Unfortunately, my attacker was never convicted because at the time, I was too much in shock to press charges. I just left town and didn't go back there until after he was dead. In hindsight, I should have, because I would have felt a greater sense of justice knowing he had died in prison. Since it was only about 4 years after the incident when he died, I felt like karma was working in my favor.

    And no, they don't. The entire justice system is flawed. Violent criminals get released everyday, while those that commit non-violent crimes take up that space for years longer. I could go on about that for days, but I won't.
    Last edited by Dextra; April 23rd, 2004 at 11:59 AM.
    "Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness, experiencing itself, subjectively. There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather!"
    - Bill Hicks, 1961 - 1993

  9. #29
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    UH, I do not wish to intrude.. I am a man.. I feel so terrible for these things that happen to girls, boys, women, and some men.... I do not understand what we call 'humanity' I will say, that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. After high school, I had a friend of mine come over many, many times and crawl in bed with me... For she was safe from her father. We were only friends, and she needed to be held. I would do that for her. Peace to you all...
    Free Leonard
    Rumors of my demise are a bit premature
    What was that sound?

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yasmine Galenorn
    When I told my mother what had happened---which I didn't until I was in my early 30's, her answer was, "I know you were molested, honey, but it was in another life-time." I hate New Age stuff sometimes, people use it as a copout to avoid what they don't want to deal with. If she 'had' accepted what I said, she then would have used the old "but you wanted it to happen to you since we create our own realities" bullsh*t.

    So my abuser was never stopped, and I know I wasn't his first victim, and I don't know if I was his last. My mother knew about me, though...she just didn't want to face it. She was not a strong woman and had been abused a lot in her own childhood.

    Yasmine
    Oh, that is such crap..."but you wanted it to happen to you since we create our own realities"...who CHOOSES for that to happen, honestly? If we create our own realities, I'd be sitting on a tropical island with a margarita right now!

    I never told my mother what happened. She knows something bad happened, but I didn't explain and she never asked. I was living in a different state as my mother, and I had called her up after it happened (when I was able to talk...it took me a couple of days). All I said was "I need to get out of here, come get me," and she showed up. She just told me on the trip back that if I wanted to talk about it, she would listen, but she understood if I didn't. Denial's a family thing, I think. Gets passed along somehow or another. Luckily for me, I wasn't in that state for long before I started dealing with it.
    "Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness, experiencing itself, subjectively. There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather!"
    - Bill Hicks, 1961 - 1993

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