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Thread: Rape Support Group **Possible MATURE Content**

  1. #31
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    I completely understand not reporting a rape by someone you know... ~shivering~ ...but wouldn't it be less of an ordeal to convict a rapist who was an intruder? I don't think the defense can claim it was "consentual" ~shivering again~ if he broke into your house....

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nighthawk
    UH, I do not wish to intrude.. I am a man.. I feel so terrible for these things that happen to girls, boys, women, and some men.... I do not understand what we call 'humanity' I will say, that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. After high school, I had a friend of mine come over many, many times and crawl in bed with me... For she was safe from her father. We were only friends, and she needed to be held. I would do that for her. Peace to you all...
    Some of the most supportive people in my life have been men, Nighthawk. Thank you, and I don't feel you were intruding. These are public boards, and you offered support. Three good male friends of mine were raped, they know what it's like too, male or female, abuse is abuse.

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  3. #33
    Nighthawk's Avatar
     is offline Rumors of my demise are premature
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    That means much to me...Thank you... *hug*
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  4. #34
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    OK, I'll share, a little. It started when I was 6 years old with my step father. He'd watch me in the shower while he pleasured himself...this lasted 6 years, but never got further than watching me dress or shower, he never touched me and never made me touch him. I remember getting a new bathing suit one summer, it was white. I went swimming and he mentioned to me that perhaps white was not the best color because it was now clear...a couple days later, he's drunk off his ass and tells me "why don't you go put on that new suit of yours?" I freaked out, FINALLY something inside my head snapped. I went out the back door, ran to a friends house and called the cops.

    Here's this 12 year old girl crying hysterically telling the cops to come pick her up, but I don't know the address...finally my friends mom takes the phone, tells them she'll call back and brings me into a back room to calm me down. I spilled my guts. She contacted my mom (who was at BINGO)...my mom comes over and what does she say to me? "I'm sorry hunny, I read your diary but thought you were just mad at him so I burnt it"

    The bitch knew the whole time and didn't do anything to protect me! I went to CPS to see if they would pull me from my home, they did a routine investigation which lasted all of 5 minutes and determined me to be a liar, and left me there. So, now he knows that my mom knows and doesn't care, he knows that CPS knows and doesn't care...so what happens? It gets worse.

    Soon he's crawling into my bed at night, then forcing oral sex, then forcing everything else. I learned early on that fighting back was useless because he'd just choke me to the point of unconciousness. I learned to project myself out of my body until it was over, I remember hiding in the corner and watching myself...

    At 19, I got pregnant. Yeah, I had a boyfriend at the time...but I didn't know who's it was. When my step-dad found out, he kicked me square in the stomach and pushed me down a flight of stairs, but I didn't lose the baby. He made up some elaborate story about if the baby wasn't my boyfriends, about how I had a one-night stand with some "unknown" service man who was in town for the weekend.

    Thankfully, my daughter is not his, I have the blood test to prove it. My step-dad is clean and sober now, and we've talked about what has happened. And I've forgiven him...I'll never forget, but I have forgiven him.

    My mother, on the other hand...still has herself convinced that I was just a rebellous teen and made everything up, and that it all stopped after CPS got involved....I've never told her the whole story...and I just can't find it inside myself to forgive her. Of all the people in the world, *she* was the one who was supposed to protect me...and the f***ing bitch knew...

    I did a paper in my college psych class on rape victims and how they cope. I still have that paper, the only one I got an A on.
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  5. #35
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    It's funny.. my father is not the greatest person when it comes to emotions. And being a pastor his way of dealing with things was for him to have me pray for forgiveness after I told them about what my brother did to me. As an adult I have talked to my paretns and they have stated they were wrong. But at the time it was so devstating for a 16 year old to have to do... ((hugs)) some of the greatest influences in my life have been men. in fact one of the main reasons I have been able t o move on is because of a man who took the time to help me and listen to me...
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  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nighthawk
    UH, I do not wish to intrude.. I am a man.. I feel so terrible for these things that happen to girls, boys, women, and some men.... I do not understand what we call 'humanity' I will say, that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. After high school, I had a friend of mine come over many, many times and crawl in bed with me... For she was safe from her father. We were only friends, and she needed to be held. I would do that for her. Peace to you all...
    Everyone's right, NH--abuse is abuse, and for the abused, woman or man, often the best help is found in understanding, caring, and friendship from a member if the opposite sex. I know it well; and so does my sweetie.

    And you, Gordon, and one of the most caring and understanding people I know. You didn't intrude. Far from it!

    Thanks to Faeawyn, WynnJera, Earthy and Mothwench for the beautiful banners and VB for my avatar!
    MerryMoot: My Gallery of Magick Realist Paintings
    Disciple of Jodarius, and Keeper of the Original Rod of Thwacking (a rather beat-up looking stick with a leather handle, but it's mine!!!)

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tzhebee
    I learned to project myself out of my body until it was over, I remember hiding in the corner and watching myself...
    First, there's not much to say to this except I think it's amazing how some of us make it out of childhood alive...or at least...sane. My stepfather forced oral sex too, when I was about 4 years old. I have a severely strong gag reflex, thanks to that little act. (Not to mention that he used to make me put a handful of pebbles in my mouth and talk with them there until he could understand me, to make sure that I learned how to enunciate correctly. Lovely man. He was abusive in so many ways).

    Anyway...the thing about astral projecting. That's why I cannot project at will today! I remember going out of my body, up to the ceiling thinking I was getting away from him when he was touching me, and then I looked down and saw that I hadn't really escaped--and boom, hit my body so fast it made me dizzy. Ever since then--around four or five years old--I've had a hard time going out of body because it felt like so much less control than I had IN my body.

    Yasmine
    Last edited by Yasmine Galenorn; April 23rd, 2004 at 12:43 PM.
    ******************************
    New York Times Best-selling Author
    Urban Fantasy At Its Best
    The OTHERWORLD SERIES & the upcoming
    INDIGO COURT SERIES
    BONE MAGIC: Available Now
    INKED ANTHOLOGY: Available Now
    NIGHT MYST: 6.29.2010
    HARVEST HUNTING: 10.26.2010
    BLOOD WYNE: 2.2011
    Galenorn En/Visions
    Yasmine on Myspace
    Yasmine's Twitter

    --Contact me via my site or MySpace if you need me.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yasmine Galenorn
    First, there's not much to say to this except I think it's amazing how some of us make it out of childhood alive...or at least...sane. My stepfather forced oral sex too, when I was about 4 years old. I have a severely strong gag reflex, thanks to that little act. (Not to mention that he used to make me put a handful of pebbles in my mouth and try to talk with them there, to make sure that I learned how to enunciate correctly. Lovely man.).

    Anyway...the thing about astral projecting. That's why I cannot project at will today! I remember going out of my body, up to the ceiling thinking I was getting away from him when he was touching me, and then I looked down and saw that I hadn't really escaped--and boom, hit my body so fast it made me dizzy. Ever since then--around four or five years old--I've had a hard time going out of body because it felt like so much less control than I had IN my body.

    Yasmine
    I have the same problem with astral projection and meditation..
    *************************************

    "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." ~Albus Dumbledore

    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

    God made so many different kinds of people. Why would he allow only one way to serve him? ~Martin Buber

  9. #39
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    I can't meditate, but that's just high speed on my part. I went the other way with astral projection; I am, perhaps, too good at it. I wonder if sometimes I just don't use it as an escape now.

    Thanks to Faeawyn, WynnJera, Earthy and Mothwench for the beautiful banners and VB for my avatar!
    MerryMoot: My Gallery of Magick Realist Paintings
    Disciple of Jodarius, and Keeper of the Original Rod of Thwacking (a rather beat-up looking stick with a leather handle, but it's mine!!!)

  10. #40
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    My escape reflex is pretending everything is all right. I'm very good at it.. good enough that even my psychologist when i was younger could not tell when i was depressed and suicidal because i masked it so well.. ahh the joys of being a missionary kid, you learn how to play happy very early.
    *************************************

    "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." ~Albus Dumbledore

    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

    God made so many different kinds of people. Why would he allow only one way to serve him? ~Martin Buber

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