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Thread: Rape Support Group **Possible MATURE Content**

  1. #81
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    Self Empowerment after attack...

    Okay, we've pretty much all been attacked and hurt and abused in this thread. What might be a good thing is to ask "What can I do to positively impact my life now, to disempower the effect the abuse had on me?"

    What makes you feel strong, what gives you energy to be creative, to be victorious in your life, to feel whole? How do you want to be treated? A lot of times we tend to act out patterns...when abused, it's easy to fall into the victim mentality and let it ride us for years--and it will take some women years to deal with it, no doubt about that.

    But if you think about it right now, what can you do--not anybody else but you, yourself--do, that will make you feel stronger, that will reclaim some of that power that gets lost when we're no longer in control and somebody else is doing something against our will?

    For myself, I did a lot of rituals "pulling back" my power that I felt I lost to the man who abused me, and the man who raped me, and my abusive ex. I gave a color/form to the power that I felt had been taken from me, and I visualized reclaiming it, calling it back, stripping it out of their hands. That helped me a lot and it was something I could do without having to set up an elaborate circle, though I did do some work in Circle. And after I felt I'd reclaimed energy, I cleansed it thoroughly and took it back inside myself.

    I also visualized myself stepping through a doorway in time and confronting my attackers, and I basically beat the s**t out of them psychically and told them if they ever tried it again with me, if they tried to strip my power away again, I'd get them. I noticed a reduction in energy draining away from those old wounds.

    And when I was finally ready to move forward, when I felt like I could let it go (though I personally refuse to forgive them--they knew what they were doing and still made the choice to harm/hurt), I visualized myself dropping the load of worry off my back, like a backpack, and walking down a beautiful path, leaving it behind at their feet, leaving them to deal with the pain they inflicted. I decided that since they dished it out, they could clean up the mess themselves.

    And lastly, I made the conscious decision that being alone is better than being with the wrong person. That I am strong in myself, and that when other people enter my life, I will only allow those who contribute to my life to be part of it. Reciprocation. I also decided that I would never again compromise myself for anyone on those matters that are vital to my path, my being, my self esteem. Shortly after that, I met Samwise, my current husband, and it's been all good.

    We can't ever fully let go of the past, after all, it's made us who we are, but we can walk strong despite what happened to us, and we can make the decision not to allow these perverts to wield any more power over us.

    Just a few thoughts...
    Yasmine
    Last edited by Yasmine Galenorn; April 24th, 2004 at 07:31 PM.
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  2. #82
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    I don't want to share my story. I'm not ready. But I think it's strange that I saw this today. This morning I was having issues with my memories. Your stories made me cry. Though I'm sorry for your pain, it is comforting knowing I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings.

  3. #83
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    GreenEyes you share whenever you feel you're ready to. If you ever feel like talking please consider me as one of those people you can talk to.

    Reading over the posts I've missed replying to all I've wanted to do is just give each and every one of us a hug. I am so sorry for the relapses in memory some of you may have had due to this thread, but please instead of a step back see it as a step needed to be taken so that we may heal. Yasmine is so right take your powere back these a-holes don't deserve one shred of it. it's ours.
    Heal. Be stronger. Look them stright in the eye and tell them to F*ck off they can't do anything anymore.

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDust
    Heal. Be stronger. Look them stright in the eye and tell them to F*ck off they can't do anything anymore.
    Exactly!

    Yasmine
    ******************************
    New York Times Best-selling Author
    Urban Fantasy At Its Best
    The OTHERWORLD SERIES & the upcoming
    INDIGO COURT SERIES
    BONE MAGIC: Available Now
    INKED ANTHOLOGY: Available Now
    NIGHT MYST: 6.29.2010
    HARVEST HUNTING: 10.26.2010
    BLOOD WYNE: 2.2011
    Galenorn En/Visions
    Yasmine on Myspace
    Yasmine's Twitter

    --Contact me via my site or MySpace if you need me.

  5. #85
    Gala Guest
    There is nothing wrong with remembering what was done to you. The key is not to let it rule your life. Remembering is what keeps it from happening again or happening to your children or sisters. Tell it. BUT, let it go.

  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gala
    There is nothing wrong with remembering what was done to you. The key is not to let it rule your life. Remembering is what keeps it from happening again or happening to your children or sisters. Tell it. BUT, let it go.
    I agree. If you go through life with your head in the sand and pretend that nothing at all happend, you will end up doing more damage in the long run. The way to help keep this from happening to others is to remember and be strong. Share your experiece with others if you feel so inclined to do so, but don't push yourself to do something you are not yet ready to do. I was 11 yrs old when I was raped and it took me to the age of 16 before I even told my mother. I just wasn't ready. It's still hard to talk about, but I'm finding it easier with every telling. I'm not ready just yet to share with all of you, but I hope the time will come when I feel comfortable doing so.

    Thanks for the terrific banners Faeawyn!

    Keeper of Tzhebee's toys. :deviltail


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  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gala
    I am sorry that he said those things to you. Rape does something different to males though. He probably was trying to show that it didn't "matter" that he was still "manly".
    But guys don't come down on me... I am just surmising...

    I think I know what word you are talking about .... there are some words and some looks that just make my skin crawl. Even the tone of voice can bring up memories.

    With Kevin I rarely think about it. But it seems that lots of stuff my ex did got to me. It could have been that they were both the same sign.. Or just that I had not sufficently gotten over the molestation.???
    I don't know.
    I don't understand why some people seem to think that all rape experiences are the same, and have the same effect on everyone. In reality it affects each of us in very different ways. Some of us are much stronger than others. In all honesty I have been raped 3 times in my lifetime, and I'm surprised it hasn't driven me mad by now. All I can do is keep going and remember that 1,2,or 3 creeps in this world dosen't mean all men are creeps. I have found my greatest source of strength and comfort in my male friends.

    Thanks for the terrific banners Faeawyn!

    Keeper of Tzhebee's toys. :deviltail


    "I think it's pretty safe to assume there's no lab sophisticated enough yet to synthesize the kind of chemicals I need. A nobel prize to the one who invents that puppy." -House of Leaves-

  8. #88
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    Strong

    Hello im a survivor! I am not afraid and have talked to many on this subject in public and in private. I have been moving past the sexual abuse by my father for more than 20 some odd years now. That and the fact that i move on alone has been the hardest thing i have done to date. I never knew how strong i really was tell i had a divorce handed to me. Then i realized that i could be stronger than i ever thought. You will always remember and that can be painful but you must look inward to see the truth. Denial is the killer in our futures. Set boundries and learn to trust yourself. You are worth love and kindness.
    Im so tired of the dirty little secret that no one talks about. The shame. The blame. SEXUAL ABUSE IS ABOUT POWER. TAKE BACK THE POWER! Tonight was the last night of my group for sexual survivors. It was nice for the first time in my life to be in a room of people and actually feel like i belonged and yet still be saddened. I had long past gone thru all the emotions of the other woman in the room but felt better knowing i wasnt alone. I was told i helped others just by being brave enough to talk about myself without shame or fear. Why in our society do the abused feel the need to hide while the sick deprived monsters have the rights to wonder the streets free to blacken the souls of others?

    Thank you Menolly for the great banner.

  9. #89
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    To all of you who have shared. I know its hard.

    Since a good way to get past it is to share, I encourage those of you who haven't stepped up on here... to do so. If you don't feel comfortable posting publicly... please PM me, or one of the others here. I'm willing to listen, to help, to share with you what I can. It helps. Though its scarey to talk to someone about it... it always helps in the long run. Talking to someone who has been there.... is often times easier than talking to someone who hasn't.

    As for empowerment... one of the things that has helped me cope, is becoming stronger. Training my mind, my body, my spirit... training all 3 together, in such things as martial arts, or even seperately - helps. Making myself stronger, better, smarter.... helped me overcome a lot of the guilt and pain that I dealt with for a long time. Knowing that I would not again be a victim - regardless of who it was.
    Ancora Imparo


  10. #90
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    If you haven't seen may I recomend seeing the Vagaina Monologues. Usually on on HBO, but if you get a chance to see the play performed live all the better. These are stories about women who've over come, who've gotten their power back, and who see and value themselves for the strong women they are. It's incredably moving.

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