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Thread: Help, I need to talk!

  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by iucey
    i need someone to talk to
    i'm really depressed, lost and oh i don't know...
    it's going to be a long post... sorry...

    my guy broke up with me 2 weeks ago...
    before we broke up he's sick... not sure what illnese is that...
    when he told me that he is seriously ill, i'll stay him i will stay with him no matter what happen...
    few days later he told me "if we broke up please remain friend with him because we might break off for small matters and i still wanted to patch next time..."
    once he told me he's a dying man and he tell me he's not worthy of anything i do for him...

    he went for health checkup and when the result was out...
    at that period i was having examination so i didn't ask about it.
    few days later he ask for a break and say he didn't love me when i ask about he's result he;s like hiding something from me
    he start to behave very cruel to me, keep wanted me to leave him.
    he even ask me to go and sell my body and earn money but he still ask me to be he's close friend...

    when i ask him what is wrong, he just tell me he don't love me anymore.
    but sometimes he's very nice to me, as if we are still an item.
    he told me he didn't wanted this to happen too he's sad and depress too and he had been crying after this whole thing...
    he sat he'll meet me

    but next day....
    he told me he didn't even want to contact me or see me..
    so i didn't contact him and leave him alone (he wanted to be leave alone)

    now none of us know what happen to him even those people closer to him didn't know what happen..


    he left alot question unanswer...
    what had actually happen to him?
    is he sick or something?
    or he's just really didn't love me anymore?


    Well that stinks!

    I am not sure what's up with him, hon. It sounds like he may want to be protecting you? But I'm not so sure.

    How are you holding out?
    Eowyn - "The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain."

  2. #82
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    Nov 2005
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    Unhappy

    not very good...
    been crying for the 1st few days till i'm sick...
    but i have cut down on crying now..
    he now totally ignore me so am i
    quite depressed...
    he know what i have been though and he told me before he won't hurt me, never will...
    he just wanted to protect me..

    i totally have no ideal what is he up to...
    i can't believe he actually hurt me this deep...

  3. #83
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    Apr 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by iucey
    not very good...
    been crying for the 1st few days till i'm sick...
    but i have cut down on crying now..
    he now totally ignore me so am i
    quite depressed...
    he know what i have been though and he told me before he won't hurt me, never will...
    he just wanted to protect me..

    i totally have no ideal what is he up to...
    i can't believe he actually hurt me this deep...

    Would you like me to get you hooked up with a buddy? I have someone in mind that may be able to help you feel a bit better about your situation.



    PM me if you would like one!
    Eowyn - "The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain."

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurestine
    I feel so bad about even posting here, but...

    I know none of you here know me, and I'm so sorry that I should come here asking for things, but... I'm desperate, and I feel that perhaps here, I can at least be safe, safe from the Christian bigotry that has brought so much harm to me. It's just that I feel... everyone around me's grown so distant; that I'm drowning all over again, out here on my own, without... anything... to hold on to. I haven't been feeling well lately, and my health has grown so much worse that I honestly don't know what to do anymore... I'm so frightened of being abandoned again, now. I guess it's not as if I could blame anyone... I feel so guilty for even thinking this of those I hold dear, but I just can't help feeling it! It's just as if there's... nothing... ever coming back... that I could die, and nobody... would even notice? It's so... incredibly... difficult to trust, when life keeps knocking you down again and again, and every time you even dare to hope, things just take a turn for the worse. It's so difficult to be disappointed and hurt again and again.

    Gosh, I'm such a wreck! Oh, please... I realize I have no right to ask for anything, but I would be... very... grateful if someone could just... be there for me?



    We're here to listen. You're not alone.
    Eowyn - "The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain."

  5. #85
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    Thank you. *hugs*

    I can only... hope... that things will turn out well, eventually. I'm stuck in horribly unjust legal troubles, and I don't know... it's so degrading and it... hurts so much. I'm still waiting for any sort of response, so that I know what I'm dealing with, and with all the exams due this week, it all seems just too much for me on my own. I feel horrible about it all. It's just that I keep asking myself all the time where everyone has gone? I think so badly of them, that they leave me when I so desperately need someone, and perhaps that's what hurts most.

  6. #86
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    Jan 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
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    My mother needs healing

    My mother has been under psychic attack since she went in for surgery a couple years ago. She acts very strange and I want to talk to a healer about this. Please, if you know someone who would be interested in helping me let me know.

  7. #87
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    I am hoping to find some guidance...

    There isn't anyone I can eally talk to right now, I am facing some very complicated and volitale issues that I can reveal to no one around me.

    I don't even know where to start really, but I've meditated and prayed more in the last 2 months than I think I have in years, and it seems I just fid myself more and more lost and confused.

    The issue is very involved and detailed and I'm afraid too long a post.

    In short, I am facing leaving my husband, faking my way through the holidays for my childrens sake, and dealing with a very familiar searing pain caused by a past love who decided he needed to come back.

    Even though his intentions were good, in 2 months time we have both fallen more than he or I expected.:heartbrea

    I guess I'm hoping there is someone I can explain everything to that might be able to help me find my way through...please
    Find a new world all of your own

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfchild
    There isn't anyone I can eally talk to right now, I am facing some very complicated and volitale issues that I can reveal to no one around me.

    I don't even know where to start really, but I've meditated and prayed more in the last 2 months than I think I have in years, and it seems I just fid myself more and more lost and confused.

    The issue is very involved and detailed and I'm afraid too long a post.

    In short, I am facing leaving my husband, faking my way through the holidays for my childrens sake, and dealing with a very familiar searing pain caused by a past love who decided he needed to come back.

    Even though his intentions were good, in 2 months time we have both fallen more than he or I expected.:heartbrea

    I guess I'm hoping there is someone I can explain everything to that might be able to help me find my way through...please
    Past loves are tricky business, there is already an emotional attachment and we all fall prey during difficult times into wondering what could have been had we stayed with them. All I can tell you is to try and remember why he became a past love and do you want to repeat it again.

    Without knowing why you are thinking of leaving your husband, its hard to advise you if this is the best track for you. I know many people that reached this point and were able to work things out with their current spouse, and many others who couldn't or who decided it wasn't worth the effort.

    Should you feel able to give more details, I am sure we could be more helpful. Just remember, the decisions you make affect the children in many more ways that we can see in the short term. Make sure that what you choose is what is best for all of you as well as being what your really want. Examine your motivations for wanting the past love over your husband. Lastly, try opening the lines of communication with the people involved, you may be surprised with the results.

  9. #89
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    Well, the two issues are actually seperate, but both happening at the same time.


    Quote Originally Posted by BeigeAllen
    Past loves are tricky business, there is already an emotional attachment and we all fall prey during difficult times into wondering what could have been had we stayed with them. All I can tell you is to try and remember why he became a past love and do you want to repeat it again.
    He became a past love due to circumstance. I was 17 when we met and we only were able to see each other once a month when it was drill weekend with the guard. There is/was 190 miles between us, and at the time I didn't have a job, other than the guard, and he did and couldn't just split anytime he wanted to. He was 25 taking care of his father and going through a really nast divorce with a woman he married while stationed in Germany who very quickly decided she hated the states and the fact that he didn't make the kind of money she was used too. When we met she was in Germany, had already left and he was going through a lot, and he needed someone who could be there all the time. We officially broke up when I was 19, shortly after I had spent 6 months in South Carolina for trainng. He met someon while I was gone who was more "convienient". I was too prideful to try and fight for him, I just walked.
    It has been 9 years since we talked (other than occasionally at drill because I promised to remain a friend--hurt me more than he'll ever know) and he reappears at the beggining of Oct and every time we talk, he mentions in one way or another how he realized too late what a mistake he'd made. To him I was untouchable, totally detached other than being polite. I had to be. Now, I can't be, I've talked to him almost daily in one form or another (except on weekends) and I'm scared of how much I might hurt myself this time.

    Quote Originally Posted by BeigeAllen
    Without knowing why you are thinking of leaving your husband, its hard to advise you if this is the best track for you. I know many people that reached this point and were able to work things out with their current spouse, and many others who couldn't or who decided it wasn't worth the effort.
    This issue has been going on for close to 3 years, since he was in Kuwait and I was left with a 6 month old baby girl with health issues, a 3 yeard old boy with abandonment issues, and a full time job that we could not afford for me to loose (the army don't pay much). I had my first tarot reading while he was gone, had been reading on my own about different spiritual paths, started with "The Witch In Every Woman" by Laurie Cabot. I began taking tarot classes with the woman who had done my reading. He dealt with it fine while he was gone (didn't have a choice really), but since he's been home we fight near constantly and he is forever making comment about me being a Pagan, and it's wrong according t the bible, and at first tried to "save" me. About a year ago I told him I refused to live in a house where I was treated with that much disrespect. He caved, we tried to get along, but still found ourselves fighting over all the little things. then one night he started a fight with me because I was in our asement running on the treadmill, and didn't hear him calling for me until he basically screamed (like it's that hard to walk down a flight of stairs). I stood at the bottom of the stairs fuming, but refused to say a single word because both kids were standing behind him trying to figure out what was going on when he grabbed my daughters play stroller and threw it at me, missed, the backed me into our spair bedroom where the treadmill is and kept shoving me. I was so furious I wanted to kill him, opted to leave for a while instead. When I came home I still was too angry to speak to him so I wrote, told him everything I was thinking and feeling and for the second time told him we would be better, as well as the kids, if we seperated rather than fighting in front of them all the time. Again he wanted work things out, but I didn't and don't, so I've just kinda floated by not really saying anything to him, focusing only on the kids. My Father is getting the 2 basement bedrooms ready for us to move into, I'm just sorta waiting until after all the holiday stuff so my kids won't hate the holidays for the rest of their lives.

    Quote Originally Posted by BeifeAllen
    Should you feel able to give more details, I am sure we could be more helpful. Just remember, the decisions you make affect the children in many more ways that we can see in the short term. Make sure that what you choose is what is best for all of you as well as being what your really want. Examine your motivations for wanting the past love over your husband. Lastly, try opening the lines of communication with the people involved, you may be surprised with the results.
    Thanks, it just seems like it's all too much right now, ya know?
    Last edited by wolfchild; December 2nd, 2005 at 01:53 PM.
    Find a new world all of your own

  10. #90
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfchild
    Well, the two issues are actually seperate, but both happening at the same time.

    He became a past love due to circumstance. I was 17 when we met and we only were able to see each other once a month when it was drill weekend with the guard. There is/was 190 miles between us, and at the time I didn't have a job, other than the guard, and he did and couldn't just split anytime he wanted to. He was 25 taking care of his father and going through a really nast divorce with a woman he married while stationed in Germany who very quickly decided she hated the states and the fact that he didn't make the kind of money she was used too. When we met she was in Germany, had already left and he was going through a lot, and he needed someone who could be there all the time. We officially broke up when I was 19, shortly after I had spent 6 months in South Carolina for trainng. He met someon while I was gone who was more "convienient". I was too prideful to try and fight for him, I just walked.
    It has been 9 years since we talked (other than occasionally at drill because I promised to remain a friend--hurt me more than he'll ever know) and he reappears at the beggining of Oct and every time we talk, he mentions in one way or another how he realized too late what a mistake he'd made. To him I was untouchable, totally detached other than being polite. I had to be. Now, I can't be, I've talked to him almost daily in one form or another (except on weekends) and I'm scared of how much I might hurt myself this time.

    This issue has been going on for close to 3 years, since he was in Kuwait and I was left with a 6 month old baby girl with health issues, a 3 yeard old boy with abandonment issues, and a full time job that we could not afford for me to loose (the army don't pay much). I had my first tarot reading while he was gone, had been reading on my own about different spiritual paths, started with "The Witch In Every Woman" by Laurie Cabot. I began taking tarot classes with the woman who had done my reading. He dealt with it fine while he was gone (didn't have a choice really), but since he's been home we fight near constantly and he is forever making comment about me being a Pagan, and it's wrong according t the bible, and at first tried to "save" me. About a year ago I told him I refused to live in a house where I was treated with that much disrespect. He caved, we tried to get along, but still found ourselves fighting over all the little things. then one night he started a fight with me because I was in our asement running on the treadmill, and didn't hear him calling for me until he basically screamed (like it's that hard to walk down a flight of stairs). I stood at the bottom of the stairs fuming, but refused to say a single word because both kids were standing behind him trying to figure out what was going on when he grabbed my daughters play stroller and threw it at me, missed, the backed me into our spair bedroom where the treadmill is and kept shoving me. I was so furious I wanted to kill him, opted to leave for a while instead. When I came home I still was too angry to speak to him so I wrote, told him everything I was thinking and feeling and for the second time told him we would be better, as well as the kids, if we seperated rather than fighting in front of them all the time. Again he wanted work things out, but I didn't and don't, so I've just kinda floated by not really saying anything to him, focusing only on the kids. My Father is getting the 2 basement bedrooms ready for us to move into, I'm just sorta waiting until after all the holiday stuff so my kids won't hate the holidays for the rest of their lives.

    Thanks, it just seems like it's all too much right now, ya know?
    Yeah, looks like he has some really deep issues going on there and it would probably be best if you separate. You are right in worrying what this will do to the kids. Not to mention what he may do to you. The escalation in responses you described are a clear warning that deep down he is dehumanizing you, and that won't get better over time.

    All the energy I can spare goes out to ya hun, you are gonna need it.

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