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Thread: SI support group?

  1. #61
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,721
    I am a slicer, I have been rather depressed and alone and I have been using pain to escape reality. I was directed here by a dear friend, Queen of the Damned. I want to stop, but am not sure how I mean duh put the blade down but what then it just leaves me back in the same empty space I was with nothing to fill it. The pain is getting unbearable at times both physically and mentally. I just don't know anymore.
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.
    You just aren't allowed to awaken.
    The Candyman.

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    NY State
    Posts
    7,071
    Blueiris and Bigboper, I'm glad you are here. I'm sorry, I don't have advice for either of you right now. I hope someone here will be able to help you though.
    I'll put a spell on you;
    You'll fall asleep, and I'll put a spell on you.
    And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see,
    And you'll realize that you love me.
    Aqualung (Strange & Beautiful)

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    louisville, kentucky
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,953
    bigboper: saying "just stop" to a cutter is like telling an anorexic "just eat". it's more complicated than that. i'm pretty sure everybody on this thread is empathetic.

    blueiris and bigboper, thanks for joining us. i don't know what to tell you. elfmage provided some links i really liked, they may be helpful for you too.

    i never cut out of numbness. i do it for the feeling. self destructiveness is such an indulgence for me. does anybody know what i mean? am i a freak? i'm so normal in all other ways, i'm like a homecoming queen. it makes me wonder if everybody wants to self destruct a little. to break down and see the core and throw all this artificial progress out the window. "i lost ten pounds and i'm going to college and i've perfected my skin care routine" and it's all so silly. i'll stop ranting.
    Last edited by spooky; May 5th, 2005 at 02:00 PM.

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    traveling between Discordia and Hogsmeade
    Age
    28
    Posts
    963
    Quote Originally Posted by spooky
    i never cut out of numbness. i do it for the feeling. self destructiveness is such an indulgence for me. does anybody know what i mean? am i a freak? i'm so normal in all other ways, i'm like a homecoming queen. it makes me wonder if everybody wants to self destruct a little. to break down and see the core and throw all this artificial progress out the window. "i lost ten pounds and i'm going to college and i've perfected my skin care routine" and it's all so silly. i'll stop ranting.
    I know what you mean, about the wanting to be self destructive. As soon as I'm done though, I always regret what I've done. I'm finding now that I do it more because I'm numb or because I'm angry (instead of throwing things or screaming, as I'd like to do except my parents yell at me), then because I'm filled with pain. Strange.

    Has anyone else told you just not to cut? My friend does it all the time. "Beth, just stop being so depressed." Because this is a choice.
    with peace, blueiris
    Thank youyou Menolly and WynnJera for the banners!

    I wish: I want to stay here
    I wish: this be enough
    I wish: I only love you
    I wish: simplicity
    - Bjork - -my blog-

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    louisville, kentucky
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    Posts
    1,953
    i don't tell anybody, so nobody tells me to stop. it is none of their business.

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    NY State
    Posts
    7,071
    Yesterday was hell. I sat and stared at my hands for almost the entire day at school; I couldn't think about anything else. I'm not sure what came over me, but thank god for being at school at the time. I also experienced a strange sensation of not quite being in my body. It was like I was looking through someone elses eyes and walking almost outside of my body. I don't have a clue for the reasoning of any of that, but I felt better when I woke up this morning.

    Blueiris - I like the sensation of cutting. I also almost enjoy being 'upset' which would be my version of depression but without being sad. And I friends that tell me to stop as well as a few that tell me to do it. Not much you can do about them.
    I'll put a spell on you;
    You'll fall asleep, and I'll put a spell on you.
    And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see,
    And you'll realize that you love me.
    Aqualung (Strange & Beautiful)

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    traveling between Discordia and Hogsmeade
    Age
    28
    Posts
    963
    I was wondering, does anyone know of any foundations or mixes that will cover up old (and not so old) scars? I'm supposed to be in my cousin's wedding and the dresses are strapless, with no covers on the arms.
    with peace, blueiris
    Thank youyou Menolly and WynnJera for the banners!

    I wish: I want to stay here
    I wish: this be enough
    I wish: I only love you
    I wish: simplicity
    - Bjork - -my blog-

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,721
    right um I think I will go back to talking with QotD By the way just match normal skin color for you and apply it lightly they won't "disappear but they will be far less noticable.
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.
    You just aren't allowed to awaken.
    The Candyman.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Fayetteville, GA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    776
    I have a question on this subject.. I used to be pretty into hurting myself while I was a teen.. *im 20 now* and I dont do it anymore..but i still get those urges sometimes when life is really stressful. My fiance is really worried about me getting bad again after I have my baby *im due in september* becaues of the post partum depression and all..he thinks that may have a more serious effect on me then normal pregnant moms. So I guess if anyone could help me with this it would be greatly appreciated. Maybe I should go on something after the babys born.. im not really sure where to go about this...


    thanks to everyone for my beautiful banners

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,721
    Focus on something you really like I did not think it would work but I have been trying it and it somewhat works. Art, poetry, music, dancing, hell even martial arts, but find something to occupy yourself and release any anger or stress foucus depression positively.
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.
    You just aren't allowed to awaken.
    The Candyman.

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