Help!!!

[FreeBee000]

Somebody please help me. I've been watching and reading a lot of media on the Law of Attraction and the power of thoughts for a few years now; how your thoughts create your reality. Last month I was on an all-time high because of it. It became evident how true this law is. Everything was happening to me effortlessly, and I felt confident, powerful, and grateful.. But all of a sudden I had a thought: if there is nothing to fear but fear itself, then what happens on the days I DO fear? What happens if I DO worry? Will my fear manifest? If I think of something bad happening to me, will I wake up and see it manifested like I do the good things?
I've been suffering from insomnia and panic attacks and can't get these terrible thoughts and worries out of my head! I need to know the truth. Will my fears manifest what I am afraid of?

[thought_on_a_wind]

In truth? None but yourself. Please forgive me, this is all IMO, and if it steps across your boundaries of belief offensively, please PM me so I can edit/erase and retract this posting as I'm not attempting to path bash.

The Law of Attraction is something I fell in love with for a bit... until I noticed that... there is negative, spiritual doesn't always beget being a strange fusion of type A and B personalities that tell you the universe will provide as long as you think positive and work those long hours as "steps on the road" towards your happiness.. which I've noticed that some parts of this Law of Attraction seem to talk all too much about monetary and physical gain to make me ascribe to core philosophies (not that I dismiss the concept completely, and I'm not speaking of every book I've read on the subject) provided within...

I bought a law of attraction affirmation deck... a lot of the reminders were great things for a (Manic-Depressive or PTSD-like?) person like myself; as most times I've woken up and thought "You know what? I am the most useless thing this universe has ever developed. I cannot do anything, and am so worthless I do not deserve any family, friends or anything, everything I've ever accomplished was a lie, and I should have taken a bullet in lieu of one of the many people that have died before me that were better." and can always use a little "You can do it!!" attitude to bring me up... but as a passing observation that may help prove my point in the slightest.... Law of Attraction or the Law of Attraction, has little if no effect on your link to divinities (or in my fortunate case their link to mine... as they called me to their realms.. more like yelled welcome home and I've been thankful ever since)

I say this, because recently those self-demeaning words I placed above have nothing on what I felt, and the way I acted... I suppose low-self esteem would have been an improvement... if I attracted all those things I thought (which used to occur earlier on as far as negative attracting negative) I should be in some void right now getting perpetually gutted in new and surprising ways.

And then, me mither and fither above, below, within, and without slammed me down in a chair one day, paralyzed me and started to tell me how I will be put in a stasis... nothing negative can harm me now, and positive will start to come back in... no matter how droll of a mood I'm in... whether I like it or not...

I was told in detail about how off I was and how it's not going to continue... whether I like it or not... hell, in times since then ever since I've started to get that whole "Oh oooohh R-2, you've doomed us all!!" (take out R-2 and insert thought) feeling they'd take no time jumping into me, making my body relax, altering my energies and making the words come out of my mouth "It's going to be alright thought, do not worry about this, it's going to be alright." and then start to tear down my adamantine logic of death and doom and make me realize that the universe is my friend and that right now my thoughts aren't directly influencing it negatively.

Now, there does need to be some negativity floating around in this day and age IMO. There are certain people that act extremely negative in their private lives at the expense of others to the point that if negativity weren't there in the form of negative karma they'd jolly well get away from it scot free. Also, if everything was to be created, and nothing destroyed, the world would soon clutter up pretty fast, if stars didn't supernova new solar systems with unheard of potentials would not be able to form. Negative and Positive in the end are nothing more than perception, money is positive to some, but negative to others. Same applies to just about anything.

Your questions that seem to have put you into this obsessive state are their own answers. If you focus your individual reality (depending on how the airs of criticism ebb or flow I may post a thread on that pet concept elsewhere as it would take a decent amount of space to type about my concept of individual realities) on just manifesting this or manifesting that in consequence you may start manifesting those things... unless divinities slam you down and tell you "No!!!"

So, my advice? If the law of attraction pulls you as the path to take, I'd highly suggest erasing that negativity... or (since it's very hard to erase such a concept) maybe it'd be best for you to look at what works with this principle, what doesn't, and what you need to put in its place custom fit to your reality. Any way you act, however, just think about this above all else "If we are participators instead of solely inconsequential miniscule observers, then maybe the pinnacle of that beliefs practices should focus on not erasing one to make room for the other, more than balancing them both out, but only sending invitation to the one?"... thinking negative and being negative are two separate things if you ask me. Also, though I believe in free will, there is a part of me that has to say that your destiny, if strong enough, may potentially limit your choices sometimes to ensure you're fit by the time you reach that time/place you were meant to be

If this rambling made any sense at all, and if you beared with it the entire time , Blessed Be,
Thought