A reason to see a therapist?

[Adamantea]

So, I need some help and advice. I think this is a good place to talk, yes? I'm going to be a little disjointed in my ventings, so please bear with me.

These questions has been bothering me for quite a while and I would like some answers. If you're going to a therapist, just...what would be your good reason to see one? Or rather, what would be your good reason to need one? Even if you never met one before, then what do you think would be a good reason to see one?

Or maybe a better question is, do you think I need one? Here's my condensed story.

I talked to my close friends and they said I should go see one before my problems piled up into more I can't handle in the future.

See, for the last few days I mentally torturing myself with these thoughts: "I think I need one!" as oppose to, "I'm fine now, I'm feeling fine, I don't need one!" I never seen a therapist before and so, I feel uneasy with the thought of needing one. Tomorrow, I'm going to see a social worker and see if there's a way I can see one or at least figure out a way to find one someone who can help me sort out my mental health.

The past few weeks, college has been insanely stressfully. Because of the stress and anxiety, I got panic attacks before AND during the exams. I also feel depressed enough that I get suicidal feelings (but not willing to end myself, just feelings and ideas) as well as the desire to cut myself. As the result, I flunked those exams and the only way to get back to school is to get a medical leave to save my GPA and a doctor's note after I get diagnosed or been examined.

My home life isn't well since my relationship with my mother is full of up and downs and full of tension. She has a health problem when made her face pain everyday. My brother can't help because he's autistic. My father died 3 years ago from lung cancer due to his long history of substance abuse, leaving me trying to learn to be the breadwinner of this house. So, I have two disabled familiar members on my head. When she's mad at me, she always said mean words, like verbal assaults that hurts me deep to my core because I can't do anything right. I have to take the burnt of her emotions when I get on her bad side. Her anger is explosive whenever I did a mistake and she will drill into me that I'm failure and I feel like I shouldn't exist and regret that I was ever born. Forget relatives, they know my situation and they painted me as a black sheep.

Therefore, I feel like a complete failure. I don't want to give myself any credit because I feel I don't deserve it. I feel discouraged as well and I fear I don't say the right things and the things I say will make me look stupid.

I guess right now, I feel fine and stronger is because I have a safety net of friends and the kind words of the amazing people I met here. That's why I was able to express myself easily.

My problem is, I don't know where to start being independent or where to begin. If I can't figure out a way to keep my house together, then in the future, it will get worst and I have to prevent that from happening. I'll be 22 in two days and I fear it. I always felt like a scared 12 year old out there, facing the world alone because of the lack of support I get. I want to think of myself as a good person because I'm studying in the health allied field where I heal people.

I pray to the goddess in good faith to give me wisdom and courage to proceed to the next step, but sometimes, I think I have to find answers from people who been there and done that.

[Lapis_Lazuli]

Since you're having suicidal feelings, a desire to cut yourself, and panic attacks, I think going to a therapist could help. Just be careful how you word what you say...you don't want them to think that you are going to attempt/commit suicide when you aren't.

Therapists can help, but some are better than others. I was once called crazy by a therapist I had. I no longer see her and see a nicer lady instead. Unfortunately I should be seeing her more with how things are going currently.

[Raxeph]

I agree, going to a therapist could help, and just opening up and letting those feelings out there for someone to help and listen is great too.

[Shawn Cameron]

Don't look at seeing a therapist as a bad thing, or a weakness, they are good people over all though some are better then others. I agree with Lapis Lazuli, if your feeling the way you say in your post it would do you good to talk to a professional.

I have seen a few when I was going threw major situational depression and feeling very much like you are now, the desire to hurt myself was strong though I didn't want to die and i always had these thoughts about "accidents" that would hopefuly put me in the hospital long enough to get me out of work and away from the people around me at the time. I had met one therapist who told me to suck it up and suffer with dignity, needless to say I didn't go back, but then I met another fine man who helped me get back on my feet. often times just talking about the problems is enough, I often thing that therapists are like guides keeping you on the path to good mental health but its you that dose all the work.

anyway enough rambling that is my opinion and if you ever need anyone else to talk to send me a message, I will always listen *hug*

[Adamantea]

Originally Posted by Lapis_Lazuli

Since you're having suicidal feelings, a desire to cut yourself, and panic attacks, I think going to a therapist could help. Just be careful how you word what you say...you don't want them to think that you are going to attempt/commit suicide when you aren't.

Therapists can help, but some are better than others. I was once called crazy by a therapist I had. I no longer see her and see a nicer lady instead. Unfortunately I should be seeing her more with how things are going currently.

What troubled me is that I once had those feelings and now I am free of those thoughts. Hmm, I still anxious now because I fear those thoughts coming back and it will interfere with my daily living.

But yes, good point. I have to be careful with my wording. I don't want the therapist to think I'll attempt a suicide in the future, I just want the obsessive self-harming thoughts to stop whenever I can't handle my stress and anxiety. I am currently thinking of what to say so that I can get my needs across.

Oh, that's not very nice to be a called a crazy! I wish you luck working with your current therapist.

[Adamantea]

Originally Posted by Shawn Cameron

Don't look at seeing a therapist as a bad thing, or a weakness, they are good people over all though some are better then others. I agree with Lapis Lazuli, if your feeling the way you say in your post it would do you good to talk to a professional.

I have seen a few when I was going threw major situational depression and feeling very much like you are now, the desire to hurt myself was strong though I didn't want to die and i always had these thoughts about "accidents" that would hopefuly put me in the hospital long enough to get me out of work and away from the people around me at the time. I had met one therapist who told me to suck it up and suffer with dignity, needless to say I didn't go back, but then I met another fine man who helped me get back on my feet. often times just talking about the problems is enough, I often thing that therapists are like guides keeping you on the path to good mental health but its you that dose all the work.

anyway enough rambling that is my opinion and if you ever need anyone else to talk to send me a message, I will always listen *hug*

First of, I know what anime that avatar of yours comes from! Elfen Lied.

Oh, that wasn't very nice to be told to suck it up and suffer with dignity. My mother conditioned me to think like that for a long time. And guess what happened? I had a mental breakdown.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I don't mind the rambling! The feedback I got here really makes me consider my decisions and I becoming less afraid.

[Gypsyballad]

Hello, I'm not much of an expert, but I've read somewhere it might help to ground yourself if you feel an urge to hurt yourself. Perhaps you could try that, along with seeing a therapist. A therapist could also prescribe anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication for you.

[Jrdyn]

Please do go and find a good therapist. Talk to your social worker and see who they endorse or reccomend. Even if all you need is a safe place to vent - or someone who can help you identify and deal with your triggers. Therapy is a great thing to help you along or to identify things that you have missed.
*hugs* I hope you can find comfort and support. There is alot of weight on your shoulders, maybe they can help you carry it more effectivly.

[Papilion Hija]

I am coming a little late to this so you may have already resolved it but I wanted to point out that most colleges and universities have counseling services available for students at little or no cost. This is a great resource. If there is a counseling program, all the better because you will have counseling practitioners as well as 4th year students at your disposal. They are training with a population that has a lot of people who feel like you (overwhelmed, stressed, destructive thoughts) so they might be in a better position to offer you help or refer you to someone who can.

My 2 cents. Hope you are finding the help you need.