Facing some big decisions

[brymble]

Right now my attempts to keep on as I have been here in Rosendale feel a little like this:




My twin brother has been trying to get me to consider moving out West for years. I have been systematically rejecting this idea for years, mainly because I am stubborn as hell. (Also because I'm a little afraid of flying and earthquakes, and am worried about the effects of all that damp on arthritis.) He just told me he's shopping for houses in Gresham and Troutdale. Seattle seems slightly better for jobs but the Portland area is more affordable.

My relationship with Matt is on the line right now, and I'm frustrated with the lack of living-wage jobs and ridiculous living expenses where I am. Plus to be honest, I could use family support. Moving cross country would not be a cake-walk. For one, I still don't drive. I'd have to figure out how to get 2 kids, a cat, 2 goldfish and a lizard to the other side of the country unharmed.

I still have stuff stored in weird locations across NY, and I'd have to deal with that before moving. My brother isn't rich. The amount he can help me is dependent upon how much crap I bring. (Although he did say he'll do everything he can to make sure his nephew doesn't have to part with pets.) I've lost everything I own three or four times already, so it wouldn't hurt me to drastically downsize again, but I'm worried about my kids getting loss issues. Or rather, furthering the loss issues they already have. My son could turn into a hoarder, he hates getting rid of stuff. Plus, he's got friends here and friends in Rochester and he's going to be mad as hell at me if I relocate again. That being said, my first job as parent isn't to make him happy or even comfortable, it's to make sure his needs are met. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to spare him pain if there's any way at all I can and still meet our needs. It's a tough place to be in.

I could use some hugs, advice (which I may or may not ignore) support, and a good sturdy wall to bash my dready head against.

[Sacredsin]

I don't have any advice that could help so..

Sounds like a really tough situation. Honestly, I've really wanted to try living in that area eventually. It sounds like a great place to live and a great possible new start for you. Hope everything runs smoothly regardless of what decision you make.

[brymble]

"New start" is what I'm thinking. Like it would be easier for me to leave all this divorce/fire/failed business crap behind me if I just left. It's been one disaster after another. I want my effing life back.

[watersprite]

Put a helmet on your both and carry on. Doing what is best for you and your son is first priority. If there are decent jobs and a closer family where you might go, go for it.
You ARE the Mom. Your decisions ARE final.
If you have osteoarthritis, you can keep your joints wrapped against the damp. Leg warmers are back. I use them and wrist braces. You can go through the herbal and dietary assist for arthritis. Anti-inflammation type stuff is better for your body anyway. I have taken over 70 pounds now. That has helped my joints a great deal(it has also gotten me off the insulin!).
what is best for you? Weigh it and you will make the best instinctual decision.

[brymble]

My faith in my ability to earn a living wage was shaken to the core when my business was destroyed by fire before I could even get it started. My credit was shot by divorce and student loans. I have a ridiculous amount of anxiety regarding work and money. I'm hoping I can leave it in NY along with the ugly scavenged furniture and neurotic boyfriend.

I have HUGE political, religious, aesthetic and general philosphical differences with my family, but right now, I really want and need family support. I feel like I have been floundering all alone since Mom died and Dad moved West.

[Sacredsin]

It sounds like you have your answers, you just don't know how to get there. Am I right?

[brymble]

Probably. My therapist and case manager just about jumped up and down with glee when I admitted I was finally thinking of moving. I keep being told over and over again how I'd fit in there, how the kind of people I click with are in abundance over there. I was told that about here, too. Just because they're my kind of people doesn't mean they'll pay for NLP, Tarot coaching, or handcrafts. I'm terrified of getting in over my head again. But I want to leave all this...all this crap behind me and move on.

[Sacredsin]

Well..no where to go but up, eh?

[brymble]

Up, and west, aparently.

[brymble]

I had so many hopes invested in this place, and it's been one disaster after another.